Should I bring up a relationship talk?

[meiling]

I've been seeing a guy for about three weeks now. We've known each other for a year but never really talked but I guess he'd been crushing on me the whole time.

 

Things have been moving kind of fast from my perspective in one way, but with some things lacking. On our first date I wasn't even sure if he really liked me until he made the moves. He offered to have me spend that night with him, but I refused since I wasn't sure if he was just wanting to get in my pants. Since then we've had a handful of dates and have seen each other almost everyday in class. He calls me everyday, which I thought was against guy rules. On our last date I ended up sleeping over and sleeping in his pajamas (no sex, I won't let him get under my clothes yet).

 

I'm not complaining about any of these things, but this is what's bothering me. I know he likes me, I like him. But there has been no mention of us officially going out or being boyfriend and girlfriend. There has been no talk at all about how we feel about each other and if this is going anywhere. It has been so long since I have been at this dating stage. Is this normal? Will he eventually say something if he feels things are going well or should I say something? I have to admit, he might think I feel lukewarm to him since I haven't even told him "I like you" or anything to that effect yet. He at least admitted to always having a crush on me and has been initating almost all contact. Am I being too reserved for him to try to take things further?

 

Unfortunately, he is graduating this May and also the semester is nearly over. We live less than an hour and a half away from each other but hey. I think I'd just feel bad if this thing fizzled out just because school ended and I never really knew where I stood. Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this?

[annie24]

since he is graduating in may, has he told you about what his plans are afterwards? is he staying in the area or moving farther away?

[meiling]

I haven't really talked about it with him. He said he's not going to continue to graduate school for now and just try to find work. But I dunno if that means here or back home or wherever he can find it. I'm hesitant to ask it the wrong way because I don't want to imply that I'm trying to carry this on... what if he doesn't want to? Should he be the one to say something about it?

[annie24]

why shouldn't you ask what he plans on doing this summer and in the school year? i think you have every right to know. just ask casually, what are his plans once he graduates, and see what he says.

[Sn0man]

I'll just add to this that after three weeks you shouldn't be thinking about having a bf/gf talk. Give it a couple of months, these things tend to come together on their own

[hailtothevictors]

I'll just add to this that after three weeks you shouldn't be thinking about having a bf/gf talk. Give it a couple of months, these things tend to come together on their own

 

That seems like such a long time to me. I'm in a similar situation as the OP (four weeks of dating, obvious attraction from both sides), and I'm getting kinda anxious to know where this is headed. I certainly don't want to rush anything and I'm happy just going with the flow, but it sure would be nice to just be able to call her my girlfriend and know that we're both on the same page.

 

To the OP, maybe it would help if you were a little less reserved, as you say. You could initiate contact a few times or send a text saying you're excited to see him that night, etc. By doing more stuff like that he might feel more confident asking you (eventually) where the relationship is going.

 

BUT ... I wouldn't necessarily sit back and count on him ever coming out and asking you "where is this going?" Some guys I know always wait until the girl brings it up first.

[meiling]

Yeah, see I have not even been on the dating market for soo long I don't know what's considered normal anymore. Back when I dated last time most guys ended up throwing the 'l' word around within the first month. That was back in high school I'm not expecting that now nor do I want it. It'd just be nice to know where I stand. I guess I should bring something up soon if he doesn't, just try to feel things out, right?

 

Is it too early to show alot of interest? I thought most guys liked the chase. I don't even take half his calls because I don't have alot to talk about/don't feel like talking, but is that sending big signs of disinterest?