Dumpers and Dumpees: How did you decide?

[Aeryn]

Dumpers-- After you broke up with your ex, what made you change your mind and beginning regretting it, and consider a possible reconciliation (assuming you did change your mind at any given point)? If you did not go through with reconciliation, but still regretted your decision of ending things, what prompted that decision?

 

Dumpees-- After you were dumped, and if the dumper returned and wanted to reconcile, what did you base your decision off of? Did you really want to reconcile, and why?

 

 

Looking forward to seeing everybody's responses!

[Cat76]

As a dumper I have regretted it, I got back together with someone (on numerous occasions over a 4 year period) and it didn't work (obviously). So now if I do the dumping (horrible word IMO) I usually don't regret it. I've given it considered thought and I'm as honest and as up front as possible and I apologise. (and even though I'm saying this, I'm hoping my ex regres his decision...LOL)

 

As the dumpee - I think about all of my exes from time to time, but I would never want them back in my life in a romantic way. They all tend to fade into a memory. (So I'm hoping the current one will eventually)

 

 

[indierockgrl]

I am most recently the dumper. I just ended an 8.5 year relationship due to many life changing experiences. I feel better than i ever have, even though i broke his heart.

We are still best friends but i know that time changes people and we may drift or maybe we wont. who knows. I just know from my gut feeling, i did the right thing.

 

i wont be changing my mind.

[Goldilocks]

I dumped him. Why? Because he didn’t treat me right in not being there for me enough, because he made me cry & I was miserable. He could be extremely manipulative, and you'd end up apologizing for him not calling you, because somehow it was something you did that made him not call. I was done with that.

 

He wanted us to get back together for about two years and even though I absolutely hated seeing him with other girls and missed him I knew it was over. Part of me despised him, and his "charming" ways.

[1MoreChance]

Dumpers-- After you broke up with your ex, what made you change your mind and beginning regretting it, and consider a possible reconciliation (assuming you did change your mind at any given point)? If you did not go through with reconciliation, but still regretted your decision of ending things, what prompted that decision?

 

Dumpees-- After you were dumped, and if the dumper returned and wanted to reconcile, what did you base your decision off of? Did you really want to reconcile, and why?

 

 

Looking forward to seeing everybody's responses!

 

all the times I "dumped" (yes I think it's an aweful word too!!) guys, I never regretted it or wanted them back. I knew where it was wrong (basically from the very start lol) and I didn't want to reconcile.

 

when I got dumped (last bf), I took him back once after a break that was not an official break up though it felt like it, and I took him back because I wanted to work things out, I still had strong feelings for him. Then he left again and he hasn't asked for me back but if he did I wouldn't take him back because I think he left for too long and I suffered enough, and because: a) I don't believe I am ready for a relationship as of now, b) I don't believe he is ready and has put any significant work in having insight into our problems (I base this on all the time we were friends after the break up and the talks we had and the way he behaved - strung me along for one thing) and c) I am not so sure we are compatible anymore, really! (values, ways of being in general (I am very direct, he is very indirect); life choices (he quit adult high school yet again and he hardly has a grade 9 education, and last time we spoke he said they basically told him to leave cause he is always late / absent and he claims he has slight "motivation problems"); and basic background and level of education (I am university educated and have a pretty well rounded general culture; he doesn't and I thought we could overlook that, but the conversations were a little hard to have sometimes). At first I thought "he has a natural curiosity, he'll come around", but I am not even sure he was sincere. I think he is the type of person to act a certain way / show interest in certain things, all depending who he is with, because he seeks acceptance and love. I am really not so sure he is really interested in education and general culture. This comes back to ways of being and values. I need to be with somebody who says they mean and means what they say. I need to be with someone who values basic education for one thing, and who sets goals for themselves.

[Struggling23]

Always the dumpee and I would go back to my last ex