Need to vent & need some support/encouragement

[iamtrying]

Hi ena!!

My mind just feels really really confused,stressed and tangled. And sad..

 

Im unhappy with my life. I feel sad and unhappy and unfulfilled.

Lately so many questions of 'who am i' and 'what is life' have been drowning my mind. I feel like i dont know anything. My answer for everything is 'i dont know.'

 

I feel lost and anxious. Im wasting my life and want to stop. Im unhealthy and want to be healthy. I just have no motivation to do it. Time is going quickly. I want to get my head around things, and its torturing me..i just dont know how. Why have i been stuck for almost two years in the same position?

 

I think im making myself feel really insanely confused - about so many things. I feel really overwhelmingly lost. Im sad. I want life to be amazing and productive and meaningful. When i try to organise my life and goals to get myself back on track, i just get really overwhelmed about everything and i just end up not doing anything. I cant even quit smoking for one day. I feel so disgusted. I dont want to disappoint my family as well..

 

I cant even begin to express myself properly, i just cant shake this dull,lost,insane,confused,sad feeling...Anyway just had to let it out..Please feel free to leave me some words of encouragment.. Thanks again..

[iamtrying]

Ps.. My confidence and communication skills are SO crap. I am slow in the mind these days. I cant talk to people. When i do, i end up sounding like a r-tard, clueless, an airhead or someone who is submissive & fake...Because i cant express myself properly and i have low low confidence...SIGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

I need to get healthy and happy and active again..im so sad and ashamed..

Im fearing growing old & death, im fearing people i love dying, i hate it when my parents are sad...

 

I hate myself. And im really indecisive all the time...what the hell is wrong with me?

Thanks for listening

[iamtrying]

I feel dumb. I see so many people here and in real life, that are listened to, wise and respected.. I try to be like them. But just dont feel it and cant project it. Its just not me, to be respected and wise. Im just one of those people who will always be walked over. I cant muster an once of confidence or backbone when sticking up for myself. Im a JOKE to everyone. I just know it.

 

I need resolutions!!! I need definite beliefs!! Im just rambling and rambling..I could talk here for hours and hours..

 

I dont know what the real problem is..I want it to be organized so its easier to figure out..maybe if i fix the confidence thing, all the other problems will go..

 

Im going crazy here because i just dont know how to say this..

 

Im really bitter and CLUELESS...I have pooooor comprehension skills.

 

Im so insecure. I never really knew how bad my problems had gotten, until i attempted to start living again..

Nobody understands me..I procrastinate so badly..

 

I just really need to find some solid ground ASAP before i waste more time in my life.

Please someone tell me what im missing??

[CaseOfInsanity]

You know you are certainly not alone there.

 

I've taken counselling group and I've been living in a college dorm recently and they are helping me so much you don't need to vent out so much on internet.

[indierockgrl]

hi friend. I am sorry to read that you are down.... i think we are all in the same boat at one time or another in life. its ok. i realized that i have been stuck in my own life for so many years. i just recently made life changing decisions and now i am seeing positive rewards for it. you sound like you want your life to change. I say, make baby steps at making that happen because nothing will change overnight. You also sound like you have a low self esteem and boy can i relate to your feelings. I am still trying to sort that out myself but i just know that i have to learn not to be so hard on myself. Try to look at my accomplishments and not my past mistakes. i too have had counseling and i have found it much help. If you can talk to someone that might make a bit of a difference in how you look at your life.

 

Its going to be ok.. If you have your best interest in mind, and you make positive changes in your life, trust me, it will be ok. nothing about life is easy, its all how you look at it. I know it isnt always easy to look at it with the glass half full theory but try it. everything gets better in the end. its all temporary..and it does get better,,, i promise....