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Bald(ing) guys, attractiveness, superficiality


Odysseus

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Okay,

So I'm still smirking about this one a little. My girlfriend, who I love very much, and I were talking tonight about some of her friends comments about our pictures together.

Now here's the deal, I'm like 170#, fit, a runner, attractive...and happen to be balding...which started when I was young, like 19...I'm now 43.

So she admitted some of her friends commented on the ol' hair status, and why she would be attracted to me. She doesn't seem to care, but admitted after her divorce was over 1 year ago she didn't think she could date a bald guy (her ex must have been losing his too) again.

Now when I was younger, I did date before I was married, but there were clearly women who were turned off by any hairloss at all. I just moved away from shallow superficial women like that because they were basically losers.

I've actually been teased my whole life about it, so I'm used to it. Funny thing is, I would feel like a complete ASS if I tagged someone in a conversation about their horrible hair cut, or extending gut, or weird laugh.

Here's my question: At what time in women's lives do they realize that there's more to passion and relationships than whether someone has hair or not?

My opinion? Some never do. Some just settle. Some never cared in the first place, and they are the ones that matter.

Opinions?

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I think women care when it being bald bothers you. My suggestion is to never mention it and if they do just brush it off, but dont try a comb over. I started losing it 5 years ago and i just shave it off, usually when someone makes a stupid comment i dont even bother replying, just give them a look and shake my head...treat her like an annoying kid

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I don't think there is a cutoff age for most people. You're either superficial and worried about that or you're not. My boyfriend stresses about losing his hair (honestly I can hardly tell day to day) all the time and it's sad because he shouldn't.

 

Women go through so much of that scrutiny (too fat, small boobs, not perfect, etc) we shouldn't do it to men.

 

You can find someone who isn't superficial, I promise.

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baldness is something that i personally don't 'hold against' a man. i think it looks really sexy on some guys too. balding is inevitable in men. it will happen, end of story. some men go bald in their early 20s, others not until they are even past their 70s. they can't help it, it's just in their genes. it's not like, for example, weight gain or bad breath, which is something that they can control.

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The guy I've been crying over this weekend has lost most of the hair on the front and center of his head. I don't find it attractive on an objective scale, but I like him so much that it really doesn't matter. I don't notice it 90% of the time - I notice his smile, his cheekbones, his eyes, his personality shines brightly... I get so turned on by him.

 

He doesn't do anything to hide it, and when he joked with me about needing Hair Club for Men, I was honestly surprised. I said, "no, don't do that".

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I am fully bald at this young age, and have not noticed a girl that has given me trouble about it yet.

 

I reckon it is about confidence, when one tries to hide it or feels down and insecure because of it,it shines through all you do, and that is exactly what people will notice. If any one ever makes a bad remark regarding it, she isn't worth the time nor effort.

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I think women care when it being bald bothers you. My suggestion is to never mention it and if they do just brush it off, but dont try a comb over. I started losing it 5 years ago and i just shave it off, usually when someone makes a stupid comment i dont even bother replying, just give them a look and shake my head...treat her like an annoying kid

 

Oh I totally agree...and that's the approach I've taken for a long time. It really doesn't bother me anymore because I know I'm a great catch and she treats me that way...and I treat my girlfriend with love, respect and passion. I feel sorry for her friends. None of them have ever been married, and struggle in their relationships. I wonder why.

 

Just fascinating to me how people tick. When does superficial physical attractiveness give in to desperation (for those shallow women), or the search for perfection (which both men and women fall prey to) caves in to find the wisdom to look deeper. Very interesting stuff.

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i dont mind baldness. On some guys its hot - it can make them even hotter!

 

BUT, i was seeing this on guy who was only early 20's and his hair was receeding (like started in the middle of his head) and very very very THIN and while that wasn't a problem, there were like 'zits' or pimples on the top of his head. Dont know what they were really, but so gross. and he sweated a lot, so that put me off..... ick....but i wasn't really into him, so could have played a part....

 

I do like if the guy has hair (run fingers through! lol) but if i like him enough, its not a deal breaker! some are more attractive with no hair actually!

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i personally think that women are not one to talk, fake hair fake nails fake eyes too....so they are bound to be * * * * ing fake guys too-tupac

 

haha, maybe women do fake alot of stuff in appearance, but generally its to impress a man tho.

 

There isn't as much pressure on men to have this 'perfect' look. it'd be a different story if the chick was balding. men might be uncomfortable with loosing their hair, but its not a big thing in the scheme of things. There are woman out there who prefer bald men. Not many men who prefer bald chicks is there..

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Here's my question: At what time in women's lives do they realize that there's more to passion and relationships than whether someone has hair or not?

My opinion? Some never do. Some just settle. Some never cared in the first place, and they are the ones that matter.

Opinions?

 

So, wait, if a woman has a preference for a physical characteristic, if she has things she's attracted to and things she's not, it makes her shallow?

 

I think you need to get over it, and realize that yeah, some women are not attracted to baldness, receding hairlines, etc. I'm sure plenty still are.

 

I hope you are open to dating women who are balding, women with facial hair, women who are obese, etc. Otherwise, according to your post, you are shallow.

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So, wait, if a woman has a preference for a physical characteristic, if she has things she's attracted to and things she's not, it makes her shallow?

 

I think you need to get over it, and realize that yeah, some women are not attracted to baldness, receding hairlines, etc. I'm sure plenty still are.

 

I hope you are open to dating women who are balding, women with facial hair, women who are obese, etc. Otherwise, according to your post, you are shallow.

None of those things ever mattered to me, although self respect does.

But you are absolutely right. People like what they like. I need to respect that to a certain degree.

 

I think this thread is a wrapped up, and to keep on the subject...bald guys...love or leave em!

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Okay...after re-reading my original post, I was definitely caring way to much about what her friends think. I am who I am. My girlfriend is with me for a reason. That should be good enough. People have to accept me for who I am and if they can't...not my problem.

 

The whole conversation is superficial thinking, and beneath me and my relationship...just opened me up to accusations about my own credibility, which I should have seen coming.

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Yup. Doesn't matter whether some look past it or not...I will only meet a few women in my life, and each of those engagements is unique. The here and now are what matter. Does the person in front of me accept me for who I am as I accept them for who they are? If we can't do that, then we are not for each other, and move on.

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