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Do I not have the right to be pissed?


yellowcal

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I just found out a girl I used to be friends with is now getting married (To a guy she met not even 2 months ago) they went out and bought her dress and guess what?! It's my same exact wedding dress (Not a coincidence, my dress is far from the "normal" white dress) and then I see her posting pictures of her ideas and stuff and nearly everything is identical to mine. I know it's her life and whatever but geez how can someone be so disrespectful. I told my fiance how pissed off I was and while he was a bit annoyed he just told me to basically get over it. WTH?! UGH!!

 

Just a rant more than anything but.. seriously.. do I not have the right to be pissed off at her?

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I had a wedding date set long before she even met the guy she is marrying. Unfortunately I had to push my wedding date back for personal reasons so now i'm guessing she is probably going to be married before I am. Not sure when the date is for her.

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i agree with your fiance, it's not worth getting all upset about. when it comes right down to it, you're going to be marrying the man of your dreams. and honestly, i don't much remember people's wedding dresses or what 'theme' they used. so if i go to one wedding, and then a few weeks later, go to another one, i'm not going to be 'shocked' that there is a similar dress or flowers or cake or music or whatever. i mean, it sucks that she can't be original and come up with her own ideas, but as they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. maybe since you've pushed things back, you can change some things around a bit so it's not exactly the same as hers.

 

but at the end of the day, it's about marrying the man of your dreams, and that's the important thing, ok? hugs

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This is not the first time she has done something like this .. back when we were actually good friends we were both pregnant, she was due a month or so before I was due with my son and we were talking about names one day and I mentioned what I was naming my son... What do you know, her sons first name is now the name I had picked out. I let that go as sort of a it happened, no reason to get riled up over it type thing let bygones be bygones ya know.. Something not as major but still bothered me was I went and got my hair cut fairly short in a certain style as well as 2 different colors (Pink and Fire Red, not normal by any means..) put in. 2 weeks later she had pink highlights in her hair... and now this.. UGH!!

 

She has also tried dating guys I have dated in the past as well for whatever reason.. I think she has issues.

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I honestly don't see whats the reason to get so worked up over it. She liked your ideas... take it a compliment. If she's just going to replicate your life after hers then she must consider you a role model/be jealous of you... I don't know. Things like this don't mean much to me. It's material things to make your day...but in my opinion, even if someone replicates your wedding...why should it matter? It doesn't take the meaning behind it away. You still love your fiance. Your still marrying someone you've been with...and you still have your plans. -If she wants to replicate them and be the "first" who cares... it's just like those girls who complain because there aren't enough prom dresses at the store and they see another girl wearing the same dress... who cares? lol...

 

I'm yeah, you have right to be a little annoyed. But let her do it however she wants. Is she's rushing or anything, it'll just blow up in her face for marrying this guy so quickly. -Don't share anymore ideas with her if you're really bothered by her doing it. Just tell her, the rest is going to be a surprise...cause i want my wedding to be unique...or something.

 

Anyways. That's just my opinion.

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well, i think it's good that she is a former friend, as i'm sure i would get sick of someone kind of competing with me and taking my ideas from me all the time. but anyways, try not to let this upset you.

 

since now you know on her website what she is planning for the wedding, and if you have a lot of mutual friends coming to both weddings, and hers is first, maybe you can change things up a bit for yours. like maybe adding an additional color into your bouquets, having slightly different music, songs, have an interesting hairstyle, etc....

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Is either of you going to be at each other's wedding?

 

No! She did some stuff that really made me reevaluate my friendship with her so we are no longer friends. However she knew all about my plans for my wedding.

 

i agree with your fiance, it's not worth getting all upset about. when it comes right down to it, you're going to be marrying the man of your dreams. and honestly, i don't much remember people's wedding dresses or what 'theme' they used. so if i go to one wedding, and then a few weeks later, go to another one, i'm not going to be 'shocked' that there is a similar dress or flowers or cake or music or whatever. i mean, it sucks that she can't be original and come up with her own ideas, but as they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. maybe since you've pushed things back, you can change some things around a bit so it's not exactly the same as hers.

 

but at the end of the day, it's about marrying the man of your dreams, and that's the important thing, ok? hugs

 

I know it's all about marrying the guy i'm in love with and it being MY wedding just pisses me off because my "theme" was far from the normal so it would be something that people remembered and now she has to go and do the same crap. Most of the things had to be specially ordered in which she has gone about doing that as well..

 

Did she know which dress you have chosen?

 

Yea she knew the dress, colors, everything..

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well, i think it's good that she is a former friend, as i'm sure i would get sick of someone kind of competing with me and taking my ideas from me all the time. but anyways, try not to let this upset you.

 

since now you know on her website what she is planning for the wedding, and if you have a lot of mutual friends coming to both weddings, and hers is first, maybe you can change things up a bit for yours. like maybe adding an additional color into your bouquets, having slightly different music, songs, have an interesting hairstyle, etc....

 

 

Thankfully we don't have many, if any at all that will be attending both weddings so it isn't THAT big of a deal just so annoying having someone basically copying your ideas. Especially when she is marrying someone she just met.

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well, i guess without knowing what your specific theme is, i think for the most part, most weddings are mainly the same - ceremony, flowers, big dress, cake, etc.... most weddings i have been to blur sort of into one. i get that you are trying to shoot for something different. and i think it will still be different, since you and your fiance are not your ex-friend and her new dude.

 

hey - look on the bright side! if they've only been dating for 2 months, maybe they won't even stay together long enough for the wedding to happen. so you'll still have your unique day!

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The reason i'm getting so annoyed with it is because I put ALOT of time into planning my wedding so it would be DIFFERENT, if I wanted someone else to have a similar wedding i'd gone with a simple white dress, and normal colors and theme.

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hey - look on the bright side! if they've only been dating for 2 months, maybe they won't even stay together long enough for the wedding to happen. so you'll still have your unique day!

 

LOL That is what my fiance said.

 

This is the third guy she has been engaged to in the last 3 years so... chances are it won't even happen but still buggin ya know.

 

Was just nice to be able to vent on here instead of buggin the fiance with it or going off on her.

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well i guess you have a right to be angry, but why not use that energy for something more useful/ enjoyable?

 

Like Annie said, maybe there is still away to change something about the details of your wedding. I would invest my energy into that

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poor girl, she suffers from a total lack of creativity. what she could do instead is to spend some time, searching through bridal magazines and the internet to put together something unique, but clearly she doesn't have that capability. she just has to steal entire wedding themes.

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sounds like a fiend you could do without.she has jealousy issues what positive things does she bring to your friendship write then down against the negatives.. ask yourself is she really a quality valued and loyal friend in my life..doesnt sound like it....get rid of her....this behavour will not stop. she is envious and lacks self esteem these are not your issues but hers...

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Oh we are no longer friends..

 

I saw her dress today (was in the dress shop and my friend who works in there showed me what she ordered..) and while it is similar to mine it looks cheap. Like the beading sequence looks like it was put on by a 5 year old doing a craft project in school and it just looks crappy compared to mine (Maybe i'm being somewhat biased but HEY!! lol).. At this point I am just laughing about it when I wrote this I was extremely teed off and was more or less just ranting about it since I just found out but now it's something I can look at and laugh.

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