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Help, Not Sure What To Do, What Level Of Contact Should I Have?


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I apologize for the length of my post but I want to give you the details so I can get the best feedback.


To give a little background. My ex and I dated for about 6 months and have been broken up for about 2 months. She started dating another guy about a month ago.


Before she and I met she was hanging out with this guy a lot and told me that she had feelings for him before I came into the picture. She chose me over him and we began dating. Occasionally he would txt her, which of course I wasn't a big fan of but she insisted that their relationship was merely on a friendship level. I know they hung out a few times with a group of friends and I doubt that any cheating was involved. We had a great relationship and had a lot of great memories. Although her new relationship worries me, he seems like a good guy and is treating her well. However, I have a lot more to offer her esp. as far as a future goes.


Her parents have both expressed to me that they do not wish to meet her new bf and want she and I to be together. They see him as a rebound and have given me the advice to just hang in there and be patient.


Our breakup was somewhat mutual. I felt like she needed to be making steps in her life, school and career wise and with her physical health (her parents agree). She understood my concerns but it may have been seen as me saying she wasn't good enough (not the case). I just want her to be the best she can possibly be. I will admit that from my end I was not being the best bf I could. I was def. lacking in the showing I cared, loving aspect of the relationship. I do not feel as if I treated her badly but there was room for improvement. You can say things all you want but you need to back up what you say with actions. I've learned from my mistakes and losing her. Now I'm ready to show what I have learned and improve the relationship we once had.


For a few days after the break up she wanted to get back together, which I had no idea. A week or so later i was starting to regret our decision to break up but she informed me that her feelings towards me had changed and she wanted to see where things went with her new bf. I proceeded to push getting back together too far, calling, txt, surprising with flowers etc. There were several things done on her end that lead me on but basically I pushed her into the new guy's arms. It got to the point where she was just being hateful and saying anything she could to hurt me. Of course all I hear about her new relationship is how happy she is and how good he make her feel. It really hurts to see her with another guy.


We didn't speak for a week until she called one night and wanted to apologize for the way she had been treating me and to let me know that I am still in her heart and she doesn't want to hurt me. We spoke a few days later when she called me crying about problems at home. She had called friends and her new bf but they couldn't talk. The next time we talked was about a week lated when she called to ask about a race I had run in. In the conversation she mentioned that her new bf was out of town that night and said she didn't have plans. She agreed to go out with me and a group of my friends. Later that night I learned her bf had come back into town and she opted to hang out with him instead. We had a nice casual conversation through txt messages the next two days but I have not heard from her for a about a week now.


Where do I take things? NC? LC? If she calls or txt do I even answer? Should we hang out if she bring it up again? I dont think contacting her is a good move, she needs to do the chasing now, right? Does she still have feelings for me?

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Firstly her partents are incorrect about suggesting that this new bf is just a rebound becuase she did have feelings for him before she met you so you would fall into the rebound category way before him. If you want to try and get her back best thing to do is NC from my experience. The more you try to put your nose in her life the more she will try to push you away especially if there is someone new in the picture. Whats interesting to me is that this girl dated you and just weeks after the break up she is with this new guy she had feelings for before yet when he is out of town she is calling you to hang out and then opts out because he got back early. Seems to me like she wanted to meet you behind his back so you can be assured that she will do the same thing to you in the future if the two of you get together again.

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My understanding of NC is not contacting her. Lately she has been the one initiating things. What do I do there? All the examples I've read have been of NC of months until the ex calls. She calls me after a week. Do I answer her calls/txt? If so I'm in a period of LC i supposed. How am I supposed to approach LC? Do i only let her contact me?

Im thinking, keep conversations short and no relationship talk and let things develop and grow. Perhaps I should just go NC for a longer period of time?

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I see what you mean about the rebound situation but she did not date him before me. Don't think that makes me a rebound. He has never hurt her. I see her turning to him so soon after out break up and as a way to deal with the pain resulting from the break up.

Still unsure about how to interact with her if at all...

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