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Finding the one - for Comp Engineers.


Cyne

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Hi there,

 

This question has been on my mind for quite some time now. Basicaly, I'm into the "Computers" field and unfortunately, girls in such a program is like trying to find needle in a barn full of Hay. People I know say you meet your best life friends as well as "the one" in College, but how can that be done when the program you're in is basically one gender? I'm nowhere near a "nerd" by any means, I just happen to enjoy working with technology and the pay for such a degree is excellent (guess it helps that it comes easier for me since I practically grew up with technology).

 

I'm not into the club/bar scene (sadly, this is where most people in college like to hang out) or any other social gatherings that involve people getting wasted out of their minds and/or hooking up with random strangers. I'm a very athletic guy and I, myself don't drink, but that doesn't really mean much.

 

Any advice would be great as being single can have it's Pros, it also has major drawbacks as well =\. If I had to choose, I'd rather be with someone for sure.

 

Thanks in advance!

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Sounds like me except just 3~4 years ago. It's not just who's in your course but what you do at Uni/College. OK that was probably obvious you knew that already, and yeah it sucks when the norm is to go out party and get drunk, yada yada yada.

Nonetheless I have often thought "if only I cared I was alone even just 2 years ago" (when I still had a year to go on my course), so really I'm just here as some emo-guy telling you to do something before your chances are gone. At least you've got it up and going whilst you're still there ... :sad:

 

Not sure what your College is like, but the various clubs (like athletics clubs?) or other groups would be worth a look into. Or the usual suggestions of like coffee shops and what not but you know yourself how shy/introverted/extroverted/etc you are.

 

Just on the whole best-friends in College thing, it also depends on your upbringing and/or lifestyle. For instance looking at my family and relatives I realise how they honestly don't have any friends (just a lot of acquaintances) and no surprise that is how I've become. To put it more to the point, the lifestyle they had me basically made it where if you didn't meet someone through college or work, you are screwed - surprise surprise look at me! ... ](*,)

 

Hopefully yours isn't anywhere near as isolated.

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You don't need to make bars or parties a way of life just to step in for a while, drink seltzer, and get some exposure to the people. The up side is, you'll get to see who loses her mind and who doesn't (not everyone goes nuts, you know) and you can market yourself just like the billboard faces people become familiar with.

 

People who see you when they party tend to think of you inclusively and speak to you more around campus. You can arrive late and leave early, but just showing up for a while and making some rounds to say hello can raise your chances of encounters outside of those places.

 

Also consider adding a class or two on marketing, advertising or ecommerce if possible. It's not just about mixing with new classmates, it's about learning actual marketing techniques and applying them to your social life. You probably already know the term 'product placement' when it comes to advertising--so 'place' yourself into social scenes regardless of what they are, then exit early enough to keep yourself from hating the experience--even if it's for just a half hour here and there.

 

In your corner.

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what are you talking about man? are you in the US? go to east coast or seattle or silicon valley on west coast, you will see truckloads of beautiful Indian women working in computers field.

 

This is true, we have beautiful Russian and Indian women on all our east coast projects, too. But that doesn't mean they've gone to school here. He's looking for a social life on his campus.

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I don't have the answer to your overall question, but a couple of pointers:

 

Don't define yourself by your area of study. This is coming from a fellow computer engineer. What you study does not make you who you are, it is a very, very small aspect in the grand scheme of things. Don't approach situations with the mindset of "As a computer engineer, how do I...?" - approach them specific to yourself and the unique person that you are. Pigeon-holing rarely leads to good lines of thought.

 

Secondly - I have yet to hear of a specific search for "the one" working. You just need to put yourself out there in social circles other than bars (people have suggested some decent ones - intramural co-ed sports are also a good way to meet girls) and start flirting and dating. "The one" might be at your school waiting to be found, or she might be years away. Nobody knows - just have fun now and do what feels right.

 

All the best.

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Hey man,

 

I'm finishing up my second year of computer science at McMaster University, and I agree with you 100%, the number of women is really really small. But what will help you out a GREAT deal is simply networking.

 

I have plenty of male friends, who have girlfriends. When we go out, sometimes the girlfriend will bring her friends, and I am able to meet people that way.

 

I was in the same position in my first year and thought, "You know, I'm going to join some teams/clubs". Since I did, I have met a nice group of people who occasionally invite me out to places, and from these events you end up meeting their friends, then the networking goes on and on.

 

Whether or not you drink/bar/club, Id still recommend attending events that include these things. If you go with a group of your friends from your program, you can still have a great time, and end up meeting new people.

 

I know this isn't original stuff, and Im sure you've heard it all before, but it works. If your too uncomfortable starting to make friends outside your program, start with a STRONG group of friends within Computer Engineering and work your way out. Socially no matter what, it will help.

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Whether or not you drink/bar/club, Id still recommend attending events that include these things. If you go with a group of your friends from your program, you can still have a great time, and end up meeting new people.

 

I know this isn't original stuff, and Im sure you've heard it all before, but it works. If your too uncomfortable starting to make friends outside your program, start with a STRONG group of friends within Computer Engineering and work your way out. Socially no matter what, it will help.

 

Yes definitely go to the bar/club/parties, even if leave "early" (i.e. at a reasonable bed time, lol). And definitely do not hesitate to leave politely if you've just felt awkward since the first minute and after a couple of hours you can't put up with it anymore. But if you're a sort of self-conscious person this is easier-said-than-done. Anyway the point of going is to make yourself known and you have a few friends to at least have a chat and intro to.

Remember like I said I did nothing during my studying years so don't end up like me!

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  • 1 month later...

It's been a while since my post, but yeah it's hard for me to tolerate bars/clubs just because everybody is getting wasted and falling all over each other, etc. Considering the places I do end up going out to with people, the music is always so loud that you can't really have any good conversations anyway. I'm not all that excited about meeting girls at bars/clubs anyway, usually the drunk/party type which is a pretty big turn off for me.

 

I may be a Computer Engineering major, but I'm far from the what some people would call the "nerdy" type. I'm very athletic, and would choose going out for the day/night with friends and having a good time over staying in on a computer any day, given the opportunity.

 

It's definitely frustrating.... it feels hopeless a lot of the time - it's either the good ones are already taken, aren't looking or have a different sexual orientation (yes, I've had the misfortune of meeting a girl I liked like that, wasn't cool to say the least). Makes you wanna rip your hair out, lol =P.

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Why not join an activity group then? Take a yoga class.. they're full of girls.

 

Keep in mind I also have to manage my budget, because I already take martial arts, gymnastics and acrobatics which is quite expensive. I know Yoga is unisex, but it would be a bit weird to have 1 or 2 guys and the rest women (not a bad thing for me of course, just a bit obvious). The females I train with at my clubs are all too young or taken as well =/.

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Keep in mind I also have to manage my budget, because I already take martial arts, gymnastics and acrobatics which is quite expensive. I know Yoga is unisex, but it would be a bit weird to have 1 or 2 guys and the rest women (not a bad thing for me of course, just a bit obvious). The females I train with at my clubs are all too young or taken as well =/.

 

Umm.. do girls know you can do this?

 

I personally think that the combination of strength and flexibility and brains is one of the hottest things ever. My ex had 2 black belts in TKD and was also studying engineering - and it just added more to his appeal. If he did gymnastics, that would have been more amazing!

 

Actually, have you thought about picking up break dancing? You probably have a lot of the upper body strength and flexibility you'd need, and it would give you a reason to be part of the nightlife scene (esp if you have clubs in your area) and get a lot of attention without really being a typical going out, drinking and hitting on girls type of guy.

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Umm.. do girls know you can do this?

 

I personally think that the combination of strength and flexibility and brains is one of the hottest things ever. My ex had 2 black belts in TKD and was also studying engineering - and it just added more to his appeal. If he did gymnastics, that would have been more amazing!

 

Actually, have you thought about picking up break dancing? You probably have a lot of the upper body strength and flexibility you'd need, and it would give you a reason to be part of the nightlife scene (esp if you have clubs in your area) and get a lot of attention without really being a typical going out, drinking and hitting on girls type of guy.

 

Oh really? Lol, if only more ladies had the same way of thinking as you do, it might be easier for me. Honestly, I don't know many girls (only the ones I train with, and it's nothing they haven't seen before so it's not really impressive, lol). I do a few different martial arts that are a lot of competitive/performance types, but also a lot of the practical type too. Combined with the Gymnastics/Acro, it just adds the flashy flips and such that some people like to watch, etc.

 

As for break dancing, well yeah I considered styles like Hip-Hop (which is fairly similar to breaking), but I donno... I haven't really given it much thought I suppose =/.

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You may have a hard time finding a girl that is also a computer engineer, but if you like smart girls there are plenty in biology and other science and engineering majors. Most women love smart guys that aren't nerdy, so don't worry about your major. After you graduate and have a nice job women will appreciate you more. I'm not saying it's all about money, but it's worth something especially as you get older.

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You may have a hard time finding a girl that is also a computer engineer, but if you like smart girls there are plenty in biology and other science and engineering majors. Most women love smart guys that aren't nerdy, so don't worry about your major. After you graduate and have a nice job women will appreciate you more. I'm not saying it's all about money, but it's worth something especially as you get older.

 

Oh, no I didn't mean it had to be a girl in my particular program, I meant just in general. Obviously, there's going to be little to no girls in it, which is unfortunate because come to think of it. to me, a girl that knows her technology is actually a turn-on (the non-nerdy type of course). My friend says you can't base your decision of major according to how many (or how few) girls would be in it, and it makes sense. Guess you could say I'm the hopeless type.

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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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