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Things may be moving too fast.....

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I have been separated from my ex wife for roughly 7 months. (a little over 2yrs if you count the time I was living under the same roof with her). Without recapping my entire story, she fell out of love with me, wanted to move on, I begged and pleaded and she declined all of my attmepts to fix things. When it first happened all the way up until about 3 months ago I was all about working our issues out. After she declined at least 15 attempts I finally came to terms with the fact that I need to let go.


So here I am. I feel good about myself and I'm working on making me better and I do not long for my ex anymore.....not at all. I am still friends with her but that's it.


Ok here is where it gets complicated.....I met this girl last weekend. We hit it off immediately and she was just coming off of a 5yr relationship. One thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together. Now emotions are involved and we are both very confused. She told me that she loves me but is not sure she can deal with the fact that I'm still not divorced yet and I have a daughter. Neither one of us were out looking for a realtionship or a one night stand...it just happened. I told her that the paperwork is completed and I'm just waiting to get the money together to file. I don't want to stress her out so I'm actually considering maybe slowly inching my way out of her life at least until I'm officially divorced but I do not want her to think that I was just out for sex because I never had intentions of it going that far and neither did she. I also do not want her to think badly of me. She also mentioned possibly not seeing each other until I have my stuff sorted out but we always end up being passionate around each other when we see each other. I don't know what to do......advice? please?

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You met her last weekend and she told you she loves you? How long has she been separated?


It sounds like you have been over your ex for 3 months. That might be a bit too soon to get back into a serious relationship (especially since you are not divorced yet).


Tell this girl what you said here. It's too soon, you didn't mean to lead her on but you want to wait until your divorce is final before pursuing anything. She should be more ready for something new by that time, too. What if you met for coffee or lunch once every week or two for a while? Keep the connection going but holding off on the physical portion. You would get to know each other better this way, too. Unless you don't think you can meet for coffee without ripping each others clothes off.. in that case maybe you could stick to emailing to stay in contact.


This does sound like a rebound for both of you. Try to do the above and transform this relationship from a rebound to a friendship, with the potential for more in the future.

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Thanks Alli,


I went to her place last night and of course the passion kicked in immediately and we had sex again. Afterwards the pillow talk kicked in and I was placed under the microscope. I told her how I felt as suggested and my worst fear came true. She took it completely wrong and was treating me like I was a guy at a club looking for a weekend booty call. I really care for this woman and I'm feeling more and more attached as I see her.


I ended up leaving after the conversation because words were getting twisted and it had the potential to get uglier. She actually asked me to leave. I have been sick to my stomach over this all day and have tried to call her but she is not picking up.


Should I let this go and move forward?

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