How would you define go with the flow?

[enchanted771]

This statement confuses me! i am seeing this guy, and i established that he doesnt have other sex partners, we want to spend more time together, and continue to get to know each other. i was waiting for the dreaded not looking for a relationship line, but luckilly he didnt say that. my last bf i pushed away cos he wanted to take things one day at a time and i went too fast.

[DJBaby]

Don't push and don't rush... take things as they come and only use your gut to move forward. Only be impulsive when it comes to activities, not emotions.

[enchanted771]

I am a very open and emotional person. he has emotion but not too open. we like to spend time together, talk, etc. but its going very slow and we dont spend a ton of time together but talk, text alot.

[Nixee]

This sounds a bit like the answer I had to give when the guy I've been dating most recently asked me what I think about "us" ... except my answer sounded more like, "I just have to take things as they come... one step at a time..."

 

For me what this boils down to is... I'm not sure. I don't yet know how I feel about him completely. I'm comfortable with him, I like our friendship level, I enjoy doing things with him, and I don't want to cut things off. But the thought of committing myself 100% to a "us" situation still feels kinda scary, and I'm not sure I'm there yet.

 

I think when someone says they need to go slow, go with the flow, or take things one step at a time... this is most likely the hint they are giving.... that they aren't sure of their own feelings yet, or how their feelings will develop.

 

Definitely do not push. Maintain interest, but maintain independence as well.

[enchanted771]

i really hope i said the right thing to him. i said i want to get to know him better and see what happens. should i have said i am looking for a relationship? i would like to eventually, but things are going so good, so once we make that committment it will change everything. did i do the right thing?

[Nixee]

I think you did the right thing for now. He probably knows that you are looking for a relationship, but if you say it out loud and put it out there like that, it puts pressure on him and might scare him off a bit. Best to give him the time and space to come around a bit. If he doesn't seem to be progressing, THEN maybe you can say, "I really like you, but I also want a relationship, and I'm not sure you can give me that.... do you think you could?" And you go from there. Not pushy, but you deserve to have your needs addressed as well.

[enchanted771]

I def see some potential in him and def just want to wait another couple months or so to see if we become closer.