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Hi, this sounds bizarre but I am falling for this girl. But she has a boyfriend (who is also my roomate).

 

I know this sounds wrong but we really get along, and more than just in a friendly kind of way. I can relate to her and she can to me, when we hang out it feels more like her boyfriend is the third wheel increasingly. Because I know I would hate someone going after my girl I purposely avoid actively pursuing her and be a class act but it's like she really likes me and she seeks me out in conversations - not flirting but in an "I want to be with you" kind of way - it feels natural and that we should totally be together - except that she knows the situation doesn't allow it because she has a boyfriend.

 

We really get along because we are doing the same course but I am senior so she looks up to me. We budget finances the same way, we organise life the same way, we both like the same kind of music, we have the same taste in fashion, and we have similar goals. We have a similar sense of humour and we are on the same wavelength. In terms of attractiveness we are about equal; I want to study at where she came from and she wants to go back home. It just kills me that she's got a boyfriend cos we feel totally right together! And the best thing about her - she tend not to play games with me.

 

And it feels like their relationship hasn't been going too smoothly because they seem to argue about silly things. He does things like hanging out with other girls and not telling her about it. And i suspect she's been using me as a leverage to get him to pull his act together, even though it feels they are growing out of each other. She said blatantly tonight she wanted to go with me to travel so then her boyfriend started acting all nice towards her. And her boyfriend even asked me, "You've thought about it too haven't u?" It's like they've talked about me, a bit.

 

For me it's kinda different. When we hang out with other girls together who objectively are better looking than her I still find her more interesting when other girls are flirting with me. And it's like she can tell what I'm thinking and she likes me more for it.

 

But although I really like her, I appreciate she is really smart so there may be two reasons she's behaving this way:

1. She's using me to keep her boyfriend under control - in which case although she likes me she still wants to be with him.

2. She likes me but doesn't want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings because to be honest, he's being the doormat guy who does everything she asks of him.

 

I really am thinking option 2 because I suspect both her and I know that we would make a really good couple. We just click - it's crazy.

 

But what should I do? I also don't want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings cos he is a nice guy; I have enough morals in me to know what's right from wrong, but I can't help but to think I am really going to regret not taking her out.

 

I don't say this often but I would definitely consider waiting for if/when they break up cos we just feel so right together. I been single for a few years now and I have decided no with a few other girls because I know I didn't connect with them the same way I am connect with her. Of course in reality I appreciate there are plenty more fish in the sea so I'm not all that desperate that it's got to be her, but still I feel we would be so happy together.

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Tough decision, Psych. Sounds like you're playing cool, nonchalant. What say you continue playing that and give the she a nudge as if to say, 'you gotta decide'.

 

That way you maintain your integrity with your roomie and you've pressed your friend to choose.

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be carfule dude..I've been there and now i'm broken hearted. One of my good freinds start calling me for late night chats and ask for advise,slowly we got closer,I new he had someone else but she was never around,not on the weekends,holidays,nowhere,he said he take it slowly and i totaly fell for him,it felt so right like we compleate each other in any and every way.and then we had lunch where he explained that i need to understand his position,he want to try it out with that girl and guess what:

I WAS LEFT ALONE.

DO NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO BREAK UP.

move on, what ever ment to appen will happen.

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be carfule dude..I've been there and now i'm broken hearted. One of my good freinds start calling me for late night chats and ask for advise,slowly we got closer,I new he had someone else but she was never around,not on the weekends,holidays,nowhere,he said he take it slowly and i totaly fell for him,it felt so right like we compleate each other in any and every way.and then we had lunch where he explained that i need to understand his position,he want to try it out with that girl and guess what:

I WAS LEFT ALONE.

DO NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO BREAK UP.

move on, what ever ment to appen will happen.

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sounds like u been hurt before, and it can make us pretty reluctant.

 

I wouldn't know if i want to just move on though. I really feel that we have something there, but in saying that i hadn't really asked for her numbers or anything cos it's just wrong. Ideally i would like her to eventually break up with him and i would just ease my way in without much commotion. But I would also be content if I met another girl in the mean time, because if she finds me attractive then I know i would be able to attract girls who are at a similar level. I'm open minded so it's first come first served so to speak

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