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Be careful what you wish for...


jsudz2430

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Ok, so I always thought of how great it would be to get my dream job and find the girl I would spend the rest of my life with and get a house and get married and have kids....all that great stuff. Well I'm 18 right now and I'm with a nice girl, a few problems but mostly because of this right here. I am about to start my apprenticeship as a union electrician which is what I've always wanted to be. I have the opportunity to move in with my grandfather and have the choice to buy it when the time comes. Basically everything I've hoped for.

The problem is, over the past, say, two months or so, I have been second guessing, well just about everything. I really don't want to be in the relationship I am right now because I really don't want to settle down, not saying that is a certainty but the thought of it makes me uneasy.

The job is a good one, I am excited about the stability and the money.

Lately though, I have been checking into a lot of other things as well. I am very interested in the Navy, it was my second choice to the apprenticeship and is what I am going to do if it falls through. I have been almost hoping that the apprenticeship doesn't work out so that I can go to the navy and travel and experience many new things.

The girlfriend is a great thing. She is very good to me and lovves me with all of her heart. I love her too, but recently, with the second guessing, I haven't been as "in love" with her. I feel like I'm not treating her the way she deserves because I am so unsure of what I want to do. I would like to date other girls and meet new people.

I don't want to back out on the union because I know that I may never get that opportunity again and I don't want to breakup with my girlfriend because I know that she is a great girl and I may never get her back, or find somebody that will treat me well.

 

 

Is this all normal, for me to be feeling the way I am feeling about all this. Just an opinion would help.

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Yeah. It's totally normal at your age to be unsure of what you want. Most people do a lot of changing from their teens well into their 20's. It's completely normal! You'll probably experience this for the next 10 years - deciding what you want, then second guessing yourself. Don't worry, things tend to work themselves out.

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I knew a lot of people have/had this happen. It is frustrating though. My girlfriend wants an answer she is always asking about us, I've never been one to lie. I just tell her that I don't know what I want right now. I don't know if I should stay in the relationship though, that's one thing that I can't decide.

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Don't worry, what you're going through is so normal.

About a year and a half ago I knew "for sure" what I would do with my life, and that I would never settle down. Then when that I changed, I moved and knew "for sure" that I would stay here and continue my diploma. Now I'm moving back to my old town and am thinking that I want to take some time off of school to work, and my boyfriend and I might be investing in a house, a concept which would have terriried me before.

Things change! Don't try to force yourself into wanting what you used to if you're not sure anymore. You'll just make yourself miserable. Give yourself some time to evaluate what you want.

Best of luck!

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Well it's kinder to break it off and tell her the truth, that your just not ready to settle down. This is coming from a person that did the wrong thing, married the guy who was 10 years my senior (I was engage at 19), and just wasn't intersted or ready to be married. Later I divorced him, remarried again didn't feel ready and divorced him. Now that I do feel ready to marry I likely won't. So anyway I'm saying to avoid divorces, kids, etc. Just break up and be honest. That way if you do reunite in the future there's hope of rekindling things.

 

As far as the job, well that's really a decision you have to make. The Navy will either end your life prematurely or offer you great opportunities as well as travel opportunities. The other thing to keep in mind with the Navy is they're making all your decisions for you. You lose your freedom, you belong to the gov't.

 

Probably best to make a pros/cons list and see which really appeals most to you. It is great that your dreams became reality so early, when you focus things come to fruition and you've shared that experience.

 

Good luck to you in your future endeavors.

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