ellandroader Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 It's been about 9 weeks since my breakup, with that and several other life circumstances leaving me feeling absolutely drained, devoid of confidence and a shadow of my former self. I have talked it out with friends, the new mates I have made on here, thought it through, wrote it out and beaten myself up about it. The conclusions remain the same however that in my case, I couldn't do more than I could. I know deep down in my heart that I did my best and that it was a situation I was always fighting against the odds with. I don't want to count my chickens but little aspects of myself are coming back. My wit and humour, my general demeanour, I am smiling at more people now, even attracting a few glances, comments and some flirtatious behaviour. I am sleeping better, feel healthier, working more productively and better still rediscovered the things I was passionate about before she came into my life. For example, I enjoy my football/soccer again and I have also rediscovered my passion for writing. I have kept a journal for 58 days straight as I confront my demons head on. Fingers crossed it will continue. I still have my moments where I wish we were talking again and that things could have turned out differently. I still feel sad and miss her from time to time and occasionally wonder if I will always be single. But ultimately I feel stronger everyday and more positive. I guess taking time and working through things can help, All the best to everybody going through a post-breakup situation.... Link to comment
canali Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 great to hear it man...(today sort of sucked later in the afternoon for me)...but just continue to be patient and kind to yourself...so if you do have a blue day it doesn't get thrown out of proportion and you start to beat yourself up (which makes me ask myself: why am I doing this to me?..lol) take care of yourself and continued healing! Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 11, 2009 Author Share Posted April 11, 2009 great to hear it man...(today sort of sucked later in the afternoon for me)...but just continue to be patient and kind to yourself...so if you do have a blue day it doesn't get thrown out of proportion and you start to beat yourself up (which makes me ask myself: why am I doing this to me?..lol) take care of yourself and continued healing! Cheers pal...actually I just commented on your thread too. I do have my blue days but I am managing to shrug it off and rationalise things in my head. I guess I am finding more conviction in myself again. Link to comment
canali Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Yeah it's really important to be consistent isn't it!...ie, changing our ways of not only thinking but behaving too and getting out there and connected again (don't mean dates necessarily)...at least for me as I can be a lazy * * * * * and sit on my ass instead of going to a meetup gig (like as in tonight)...sheeh... for all my advising others taking my own advice is sometimes the toughest gig of all. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Well I'm glad things are getting better for you! You seem like a nice guy so it won't be long before you find the right lady for you again. Time is past and you've made great progress!! Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Glad to hear this. One problem with the lows is that they can feel so permanent, but the up side is that once you're positioned to look back on them you'll feel a true sense of accomplishment. Better news is, when you find yourself reaching that point, very little can scare you anymore because you'll know what you're capable of overcoming. That's how we learn that love is worth the risk. Hah! Just in time to do it again. Head high, and best wishes. Link to comment
device04 Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Ellandroader, fantastic to hear that you are feeling on the upswing. I think the hardest, but most important part of the process is facing the emotions. You have to let yourself feel down and really explore through it. It's not easy, and it takes strength and conviction to keep moving on. Congrats, and keep it up. Canali, I totally relate to what you're saying. It's so easy to help others (which is a great trait to have as I really appreciate reading your posts), yet so hard to put our own words into action for ourselves. Just my opinion, but don't beat yourself up about it, remember that recovery is a singular process with no timeline. You're doing all the necessary things overall, keep it up! Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 11, 2009 Author Share Posted April 11, 2009 Thank you for your replies! Device04 and catfeeder - I agree, putting yourself through it and discovering some truths and feelings is hard, but worthwhile. Mslady - Thank you for your kind words Link to comment
viajera Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 That's so wonderful, ellandroader! I hope you find yourself fully back to yourself - or even better/happier - soon! And this: for all my advising others taking my own advice is sometimes the toughest gig of all is all too true for me, canali! Link to comment
philove Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Well done buddy, I sensed you were moving on well Keep it up! Link to comment
WomanWriter Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Glad to hear it, Dan! Keep your head up Link to comment
Clabs Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 Yeah - nice one mate - lovely to hear you are getting there! Link to comment
bustertypsy Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 It's great to see you moving forward and living your life and finding a passion for life again,albeit slowly but surely. I always believe that time is the single biggest factor to healing but a positive mental attitude is a great thing to have too.Just expect to get sudden withdrawels when you least expect them.It is all part of the healing process.Will you always be single? I doubt it very much,but don't go looking for a replacement,just let it happen,and it will. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 11, 2009 Author Share Posted April 11, 2009 It's great to see you moving forward and living your life and finding a passion for life again,albeit slowly but surely. I always believe that time is the single biggest factor to healing but a positive mental attitude is a great thing to have too.Just expect to get sudden withdrawels when you least expect them.It is all part of the healing process.Will you always be single? I doubt it very much,but don't go looking for a replacement,just let it happen,and it will. Thank you I am not seeking a replacement either. It will happen when it does and I am open to it, or will be at the right time. For now, I hope that things continue as they are. Link to comment
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