I fail so hard! Why am I so awkward?!

[Raistlin]

This will seem very trivial to most ENAers, but since I've been so down lately, this was a significant pick-me-up... and fail.

 

I went with my mom to pick up dinner tonight since she can't lift anything. When we got there, there was a very cute cashier. I immediately noticed her.. and she noticed me as well. I used the tactic of looking anywhere but directly at her while checking her out, but she was blatantly staring at me. Since we had to wait in line, I caught her looking at me several times, and smiling at me when I caught her. She even kept looking at me when we sat down to wait for our order.

 

Here's where I fail... I'm unshaven, wearing scrubs, and I couldn't come up with one single thing to say to her. All I could do was keep making eye contact, smiling, and wait for her to look away.

 

Like I said, it's small, but I'm almost elated at the fact that I got this small bit of attention. After months of literally being ignored by women, I finally get checked out... and I look horrible and can't come up with anything to say.

 

/FAIL

[laisla]

you didn't fail, you didn't do anything. if anything, you had a cute girl checking you out. maybe you'll see her again.

[meepmeep20]

are you a sexy medical student?

[Raistlin]

Rofl nowhere near it.

 

Sexy? Not in my eyes.

 

Medical student? I'm not that smart. Sorry.

[agatha]

I'm weird, I think scruffy beard can be irresistibly sexy.

[Raistlin]

I'm weird, I think scruffy beard can be irresistibly sexy.

 

Mine grows in patches. I have a small circle-shaped spot on each cheek that can't grow hair.

 

Seriously, I'm probably the most awkward guy on the planet.

[RipTideRush]

Why were you wearing scrubs?

 

And the only way to get hair to grow in that spot is to shave over it. Shave twice a day over the spot, or your whole face.

[xxNPxx]

Well your off to a good start. If it was me I would be thinking, "Who the f**k does this b**h think she's staring at?! God, some people are such a**holes." Then proceed to be pissed off for the rest of the day. People ALWAYS stare at me and I'm always pissed off about it too. But if they are doing that be because they are interested then I feel even worse because I've passed up so many chances. Literally ten - twenty per day. I mean, wow. I've always felt a little bit insecure about always being stared at by just about everybody.

 

Anyways,

 

What most people with good dating experience would say is:

 

Just talk to the girl. Or any other girl for that matter that looks at you like that. Here's the thing to remember. Your an ugly guy wearing scrubs with a patchy beard and your mother that can't lift things and what response did you get from that girl? Yeah that's right, she looked at you and was interested in talking to YOU. Not the CEO/model behind you, but YOU Mr. Patchy Beard!!!

 

Imagine if you were clean shaven and without the scrubs and mom.

[catfeeder]

What's the failure, exactly? You know where she works.

[SoMuchLove]

This isn't a big deal. Don't beat yourself up about it. You'll always have other chances. Besides, if she was checking you out she obviously didn't mind your appearance.

 

Seriously, I'm probably the most awkward guy on the planet.

 

Try to stop this negative thinking. It's self-depricating. Next time you find yourself thinking this way, counter it with a postive thought like "I'm one of the coolest guys on the planet".

 

Take this with a grain of salt.

[DaBladeRoden]

I'm always at my worst game when I'm out with my parents. I instantly revert back to feeling like a child.

[WorkingInLin]

I had a similar experience. Messy, unkempt hair, several days worth growth of beard, an old ragged t shirt...I didn't look anywhere near my best. And there was this really attractive blonde girl checking me out at K-Mart. I went through her line, and even though she was obviously interested and smiled at me constantly, I had nothing to say. I just grabbed my money and left.

 

This happened about two weeks ago, and I haven't been back there to see if she still works there. It's funny, the last time someone showed interest was back in January of 2008, and then suddenly there's someone who's interested, and I do nothing. **pounds forehead against wall**

[agatha]

Just talk to the girl. Or any other girl for that matter that looks at you like that. Here's the thing to remember. Your an ugly guy wearing scrubs with a patchy beard and your mother that can't lift things and what response did you get from that girl? Yeah that's right, she looked at you and was interested in talking to YOU. Not the CEO/model behind you, but YOU Mr. Patchy Beard!!!

 

Imagine if you were clean shaven and without the scrubs and mom.

 

there, all put simple and clear for you, my dear. _she_was_looking_at_you_ ( and I like scruffy beard and I don't pretty much care if it's irregular. besides, you are 21, not all of you facial hair has showed up yet)

 

and dude, if she felt you are sexy, then you are sexy. stop denying that.

 

(to the fellow up there^: relatives around are THE greatest turn off. the other day I was flirting with a guy of my study group -quiet one, took almost a year to come and talk to me. I didn't bother because all the girls there love him dearly. he didn't really need me too drooling over him- and my mother came out of nowhere from a nearby bookstore. that approval smile of "oh, he's cute, when are you getting married?" gave me goosebumps, and I dismissed him in 15 seconds. not to mention aunts and family friends, who are always pointing out the next commitable thing around. I lose game, face, sweetness and all my extrovertion fades away on such a situation. I think I can even growl at some X p)

[agatha]

workinginlin - well, I can't count how many times I get all dressed up and no one seems to notice. then I get a good pair of old sweaters to go to the laundry on a sunday morning and guys start checkin me out. go figure people...

[Raistlin]

What's the failure, exactly? You know where she works.

 

The failure is my inability to clean up, do laundry, and know what to say. Even after hours of thinking it over, I'm still stumped.

 

I'm always at my worst game when I'm out with my parents. I instantly revert back to feeling like a child.

 

That's my problem too. I have no idea why I revert immediately. It's like any game I may have (which, admittedly I do need to work on) is gone just by the looming presence of a family member, even if I shoo them away.

 

I had a similar experience. Messy, unkempt hair, several days worth growth of beard, an old ragged t shirt...I didn't look anywhere near my best. And there was this really attractive blonde girl checking me out at K-Mart. I went through her line, and even though she was obviously interested and smiled at me constantly, I had nothing to say. I just grabbed my money and left.

 

This happened about two weeks ago, and I haven't been back there to see if she still works there. It's funny, the last time someone showed interest was back in January of 2008, and then suddenly there's someone who's interested, and I do nothing. **pounds forehead against wall**

 

Last time I went on a date was early March. Since then, this is the only girl that's even glanced in my direction. And I blew it.

 

there, all put simple and clear for you, my dear. _she_was_looking_at_you_ ( and I like scruffy beard and I don't pretty much care if it's irregular. besides, you are 21, not all of you facial hair has showed up yet)

 

and dude, if she felt you are sexy, then you are sexy. stop denying that.

 

The facial hair thing has been this way since it started growing when I was 13.

 

She may think I'm sexy or whatever, but if I don't feel it, I don't think I'm sexy and that raises my self awareness and lowers my confidence. It was just bad timing on my part.

[dr_styles]

This will seem very trivial to most ENAers, but since I've been so down lately, this was a significant pick-me-up... and fail.

 

Like I said, it's small, but I'm almost elated at the fact that I got this small bit of attention. After months of literally being ignored by women, I finally get checked out... and I look horrible and can't come up with anything to say.

 

/FAIL

 

Well trivial most eNA-ers perhaps, but not to a few of us guys who I think you know about anyway (except change months to years for me). Yep as trivial as it is to others, like yourself having someone apparently give you positive attention (or any at all really) is enough to make my day almost.

 

The only thing I would be sceptical about is the fact she's a "service worker", and as part of their job they are good at being pretty, smiling, being friendly, and what not. Don't get me wrong - that's not to say it was fake or anything, and I'm guilty of still thinking I might've lost a chance with these chances too! But a few thoughts come to mind for discussion:

- You'd have to chat her up at work. I'm not against that but I've read it's not exactly smart.

- The original point; she could just be doing her job and she's used to just smiling at everyone.

- Most I can usually do is maybe some comment or observation, you know get her to say something "non-standard" back - but then what? (remember full public view, she's busy with work, etc.)

 

I'm always at my worst game when I'm out with my parents. I instantly revert back to feeling like a child.

 

Heh I just "shut down" when I'm out with my parents, which is a lot (at home, lack of friends, etc.) and I just consider them, and relatives too, to kill any chances. The two mains ones for me are walking around with your Mum glued next to you (she tries to anyway), and for parents and relatives they are the most isolated around (thus the upbringing I've had which has me in this mess) so to go and try and talk to someone when they're around would just be awkward.

 

I went through her line, and even though she was obviously interested and smiled at me constantly, I had nothing to say. I just grabbed my money and left.

 

This happened about two weeks ago, and I haven't been back there to see if she still works there. It's funny, the last time someone showed interest was back in January of 2008, and then suddenly there's someone who's interested, and I do nothing. **pounds forehead against wall**

 

I can't remember the last time someone showed any interest in me (beyond a service worker smile) and I hope it never always is just that for the reasons I thought.