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Pls tell me I'm not crazy for breaking it off!!!

needafriend

By needafriend
in Breaking Up Advice

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needafriend Enthusiast

needafriend

Posted
Posted

I've posted about this guy before. We have been seeing each other for 4-5 months. I broke it off with him the other night via text message (which I'm not proud of) I was just so angry and hurt.

 

1. Seeing each other for 4-5 months. Started off as FWB. We have not been seeing other people for a bit over 2 months.

 

2. He cancels dates with me at the last minute to go out with his buddies, all the time. Probably about 6 times throughout our whole "relationship"

 

3. He never comes to see me. I always have to go to see him (he lives about 40 minutes from here)

 

4. He is not attentive when in social situations and has a wandering eye.

 

5. I found out he has still been contacting certain girls (and chasing them I'm sure) after he told me I was the only girl.

 

Number 5 happened last weekend and I explained that we would have to end it. When you like someone a lot you don't chase others right? I said that I was too hurt to carry on with what we were doing. He managed to convince me to talk to him in person during the week, so we could either sort things out or whatever. I was planning to go to his house to talk, but I had car troubles so I couldn't get there. He said that he would come to me instead a couple of days later. He cancelled at the last minute (going out with his buddies) and I just lost it. I told him we were done. I received messages from him during the night saying "it's not over and you know it" I was sleeping so I didn't reply.

 

The next day I tried calling him. I was still convinced of my decision.. I'd spent half the day crying. I just felt quite guilty ending it via text message and wanted to at least have a conversation and explain my decision. He won't answer my calls or text messages! I'm just trying to explain and try to give this a proper ending. I don't want there to be hate between us. I'd like to handle the situation with some maturity. He just won't answer me.

 

I just feel I put in all the effort into this and he just crusied along. I was never demanding on his time. I was always fun and laid back. I'm good looking and never have a lack of attention from other men. It's just that this was the one I wanted!!! So it was very important to me! I just feel guilty and now am having doubts!!!

 

Please tell me I'm not crazy for ending it!!!! It's clearly not as important to him as it is to me... is it?!? Ahhhhh I feel so silly. I know I deserve better!!! Ah!!!! HELP!

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stickman Contributor

stickman

Posted
Posted
It sounds like he has no desire to commit and you're doing what's best for you. It sucks that you had to end it via text, but at least you did end it and you're not wasting more time being strung along.

 

This is the best advice. I think most people would agree.

 

Nothing wrong with ending it the way you did. Then you dont have to deal with his response which could be almost anything.

 

Good for you to have the courage to do the right thing!

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needafriend Enthusiast

needafriend

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Thanks.

I guess I already know this. Just need some reassurance.

I just don't understand why he won't answer my calls, if he doesn't care. I just need to explain. I don't think he cared enough about me to be hurt. I'd just rather it end on a good note... its very frustrating

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impossible Explorer

impossible

Posted
Posted

You did the right thing.

 

I was in your position once and ended it by text and did felt guilty, but it was the only way. He hounded me for days.

 

Dont worry about explaining or trying to leave it on a good note. If he really cared or really felt it was 'not over' he'd have answered your calls or called you. He either doesn't really care, or is expecting you to keep calling him.... keep ignoring him. Wouldn't be suprised if he contacted you.

 

You deserve much much better than this. You did the right thing in ending it. You'll find a guy who WANTS to come and see you -and wont cancel plans for his buddies.

 

This fella isn't worth it

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Cat76 Enthusiast

Cat76

Posted
Posted
Thanks for your advice guys.

I'm just very sad it didn't progress the way I wanted it to. And just devasted he doesn't like me as much as I like him. It's a very difficult thing to come to terms with!!!!

 

Hi needafriend

 

My ex ended things with me but your story is very similar to mine. He became distant towards the end, I was making all the effort and deep down I knew something wasn't right. I wish I had got in first to do the dumping like you did.

 

You have made the right decision and you dno't owe him any explanation or your thoughts.

 

 

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leviathanxx Newbie

leviathanxx

Posted
Posted

I know it is hard, but I had the same thing happen to me (in one way or another). My ex became distant, less phsyical, and just less attentive. At first I could not come to terms or truly believe somone I had been with for 4 years could do that but in the end I soon learned I was the backburner. I broke it off and have had NC for 1 month......which at first seemed like forever. But trust me it gets better. I too could not understand how I could do everything for that person and try to make it work when in turn they never loved me the same. Yes it is hard to come to terms with.....but there will always be somone out there that will express the same type of feelings for you. You deserve better.....been there done that.

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