GF pregnant. Any tips or things to know?

[Demonblade]

My gf and I met back in January and we broke up because I lived with my mother and she put a lot of strain on the relationship and it got to be too much for her. We fell in love later on anyway but she started dating this one guy. She recently broke up with him because he treated her horribly and was extremely possessive and hot-headed. She and I got back together and last week she told me that she may be pregnant with his child.

 

All of the symptoms fit and we really think she is pregnant. There are four people living in the apartment: Me, my gf, her best friend, and her best friend's fiance (I have become close friends to her best friend and her best friend's fiance). My GF and I actually can see each other starting a family and everything. She says she knows he will not accept the child and so I offered for her to have the child with me. I plan on adopting it.

 

I want to know everything I need to know. All four of us have a good, steady income and will raise the child together but know nothing about pregnancy. I want to make things as comfortable as possible for my gf and help with her symptoms. Can we get some tips and things we need to know? And is there anything I need to know myself aside from this?

 

I know how stressful children are, I've taken care of my neice for the first six years of her life and I loved it. I've not had much drama at all and the stress never got to me except maybe a handful of times. Emotionally and mentally, I am ready to handle a baby. But financially, I alone am not but me and my gf are more than financially able to. We already have a rough estimate of how much money will be needed and both of us can handle it, and with two other people living with us who are just as excited it will be two-fold.

[Scorpion Fury]

did she take a test?

[BellaDonna]

Has she taken a test yet?

 

If she is indeed pregnant- she needs to start taking prenatal vitamins ASAP so that she has the folic acid she needs. It is vital at this stage.

 

She says she knows he will not accept the child and so I offered for her to have the child with me. I plan on adopting it.

 

I think she should pursue child support to help ease the financial burden on the 2 of you. It takes 2 to make a baby- he should be responsible.

 

 

I want to make things as comfortable as possible for my gf and help with her symptoms. Can we get some tips and things we need to know? And is there anything I need to know myself aside from this?

 

If she is pregnant than she may suffer from nausea and be very tired in the first trimester.

 

But first she has to find out for sure- and then also schedule a doctor's appointment- usually around 8 weeks they will see her and give her a ton of literature.

[laisla]

did you meet in january of this year? that's a lot to happen for just a few months.

first things first she's got to take a test then go to the doctor's.

[Demonblade]

She has every symptom and they are sometimes small and then are big in intensity. She told her ex and he said he will pay child support but won't have anything else to do with it but that if she doesn't get back with him.

 

It will be two weeks since it all started. She hasn't taken the test yet, she says she has to wait until around the time where her period is supposed to start.

[Demonblade]

Yes, january of this year.

[sbux_addict]

She has every symptom and they are sometimes small and then are big in intensity. She told her ex and he said he will pay child support but won't have anything else to do with it but that if she doesn't get back with him.

 

It will be two weeks since it all started. She hasn't taken the test yet, she says she has to wait until around the time where her period is supposed to start.

 

Well, don't keep your hopes up. Just because she has symptoms doesn't mean she is unless she took the test and it says positive. Even pregnancy tests need about two weeks from when conception happened to test a positive. Even then, it's still too early to tell.

 

I was so positive I was pregnant one time - had unprotected sex didn't even take plan B, had symptoms and guess what? I wasn't pregnant. So no, you can't rely on symptoms alone.

[Scorpion Fury]

She has every symptom and they are sometimes small and then are big in intensity. She told her ex and he said he will pay child support but won't have anything else to do with it but that if she doesn't get back with him.

 

It will be two weeks since it all started. She hasn't taken the test yet, she says she has to wait until around the time where her period is supposed to start.

 

her period isn't due for two more weeks? when did she last have sex with him?

[laisla]

two weeks still may be too early to have the symptoms. make certain about her state of pregnancy before you plan anything else..you can use a store-bought test and find out only minutes later. there is time for you to plan.

[melrich]

Well forgetting about th very real possibility that she is not pregnant, I think you are in dream world and need a very quick reality check.

 

She told her ex and he said he will pay child support but won't have anything else to do with it but that if she doesn't get back with him.

 

That is a long way from wanting nothing to do with it.

 

I plan on adopting it.

 

It's grandparent/father/other side of the family may have something to say about that.

 

 

and with two other people living with us who are just as excited it will be two-fold.

 

It's very easy to be excited before the baby comes. Do not rely on their financial support. It won't be there.

[Qut81]

Well, preg tests arent always accurant. My cousin took 3 tests and they were negative, when she was indeed pregnant. If she thinks shes pregant she should go to her Dr. The blood test will tell them earlier.

 

I am going on the limb to say this and I hope this doesnt hurt your feelings. However, I feel you are too young to take on that kind of responsibility. I understand ppl make mistakes but this child isnt yours. I feel if you do this, you will regret it later in life.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You keep talking about "all four of you"...however, the only person this baby REALLY belongs to is HER. You are not the natural father and the roommates are complete outsiders. They could be here today and gone tomorrow. It is easy for them to say they will help out but when the baby actually comes, don't count on it. They might very well end up moving out together and starting their own family. As far as you...you are not married to this woman and you barely know her. Are you going to legally adopt the baby...if not then you have no rights to that child because you are not even married to this woman. You don't even know if your relationship will stand the test of time. I think the reality you need to see first is the reality I stated above.

[sbux_addict]

One thing too: It's good that you're planning ahead, but I think you're thinking waaaay too ahead of yourselves. Get the positive pregnancy test first before you start thinking and saving a college fund for the non-existent yet baby.

[Demonblade]

I don't know when the last time she had sex with him was, all I know was that it was before we got back together. But she told me the day after the symptoms started saying "I know my body and I really think I may be pregnant with his child".

 

I've been getting the same things too, for some reason. Headaches, nausea, certain tastes and smells make me nauseous. I am an assistant manager in a movie theatre and the smell of popcorn suddenly makes me nauseous now. I never told her that and the next time we went to the movies, the popcorn smell made her nauseous too.

[arwen]

How on earth does she have 'every sign of a pregnancy' if she isn't even past the moment she would have her period?

 

Before you start adopting, get her a pregnancy test.

[EQD]

I don't know when the last time she had sex with him was, all I know was that it was before we got back together. But she told me the day after the symptoms started saying "I know my body and I really think I may be pregnant with his child".

 

I've been getting the same things too, for some reason. Headaches, nausea, certain tastes and smells make me nauseous. I am an assistant manager in a movie theatre and the smell of popcorn suddenly makes me nauseous now. I never told her that and the next time we went to the movies, the popcorn smell made her nauseous too.

 

is this a troll?

you are a man. you arent going to show pregnancy symptoms.

[Ms Darcy]

is this a troll?

you are a man. you arent going to show pregnancy symptoms.

 

 

I think he's referring to a documented phenomenon called "Couvade syndrome" where a male partner experiences some of the pain that his pregnant partner feels at or near the time of childbirth. Although, I must say that I haven't heard of that occurring so early in a pregnancy. I can't say he's not a troll, but the idea of having 'sympathy pain' is not uncommon for men with pregnant partners.

[EQD]

that being said she isnt even late yet. the hormone levels dont begin to peak into symptom producing until two weeks past ovulation.

she seems sketchy and neurotic. i would bet money she doesnt know for sure, or she is making it up to string the both of you along.

 

the hormones induce the symptoms and at this point in time they arent strong enough to do that.

[ScubaDiva]

Not to be insensitive or anything but wouldn't the logical thing be to terminate the pregnancy?

[ladyblue07]

One thing too: It's good that you're planning ahead, but I think you're thinking waaaay too ahead of yourselves. Get the positive pregnancy test first before you start thinking and saving a college fund for the non-existent yet baby.

 

This is the best advice. Wait and see what happens with the test before you get too emotionally involved in this.

[Notreadyet87]

I think your jumping the gun here...

If she hasn't "missed" her period yet than I fail to see how you know for sure that she is pregnant. There have been plenty of times where I've "thought" I was pregnant and it was only PMS. I think the reason you may "mimic" her symptoms is because you BELIEVE that she is pregnant and subconsciously you are starting to act out... In other words, have you ever heard of those people who make themselves sick, thinking that they are sick?

For all you know she could be saying that she's pregnant to simply pull you into a trap.

And if she is pregnant things may change when the baby is born. The dad may step up. And if he doesn't, his parents may.

She may decide to go back to him.

You guys may break up.

Your housemates will probably fall through--as they will eventually want to lead their own lives.

And financially--at 19 I'm not sure how you and your gf can afford to raise a child. It isn't impossible, but are you truly prepared for the costs of hospital visits, pampers, food, clothes, etc, etc.

Most people don't realize the cost of a child until they TRULY bring one into the world. There are so many unexpected things that occur with little ones that it's really hard to speculate how much money it'll be.

And with all that being said, you STILL have your life ahead of you. At 19 why are you WILLING to raise a child that isn't yours? Why put yourself through the stress?

I think that your living an in "ideal fantasy world". We've all been there before--where we believe that will live happily ever after despite the TRUE circumstances. Sure you guys MAY work out, but the chances of teen relationships when pregnancy is involved is VERY slim. And considering that you aren't even the real father--it may be slimmer.

I think the first step is to ACTUALLY find out that she is pregnant. And in the meantime you NEED to do some heavy thinking, because right now this may sound nice, but in reality it's a completely different story.

[Hope75]

You've gotten a lot of good advice, and a lot of harsh criticism. I do think a couple of points that are important are:

 

1. Have this supposed pregnancy confirmed first- symptoms are just that, nothing much until/unless they are confirmed by a test.

 

2. If she is pregnant, be realistic and practical. You have known one another just a few months and this would not be your baby. Babies are demanding and expensive and change the dynamic of even the strongest relationship. My husband and I are well educated, in stable careers, home owners, 33 years old and have been together for almost 7 years and are expecting our first baby in a few months and it has already changed our relationship. The costs to support and care for a child are high, especially if you don't have insurance.

 

3. This potential baby, if it is real, has a father who whether he wants to or not is obligated to pay child support. The father's parents may want to be a part of the child's life, and the relationship between your gf and her ex may change if she is in fact pregnant. Be wary of that.

 

4. Your room mates are not going to help you. I can't tell you any more honestly than that. Nothing kills a young carefree life quicker than a screaming, demanding, hungry, soiled infant. The fantasy of it is wonderful, but the reality is it is hard work with no respite. Trust me on this one. Your friends will not be able to relate and will not be interested beyond holding the baby for a few minutes while it sleeps.

 

 

But before you put the cart before the horse, most importantly-- determine if she is actually pregnant, because there's a very good possibility this is all for nothing because she is not pregnant. She never has been, and the 'I know my body' crap is just that, crap. I had all the symptoms of being pregnant many times before I actually was. She has no idea what it feels like to be pregnant unless she already has.

 

Get the test and go from there.