chelsea13 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I have been having this issue ever since I was an early teen. Me and my sister are really close and I'm happy to have someone like her. But the thing is, I'm always secretly jealous of her. I've only ever had one boyfriend and I can say that close to zero guys had ever openly said they liked me. So I'm not the type of lots of guys chasing me. But my sister... her situation is insane, she has a lot of admirers at any point in her life, and there's always around 5 guys chasing her at once. She receives gifts from guys all the time. And people check her out when I'm out with her. Not to mention the amount of compliments she receives. I always feel like I'm behind her. I can't help but compare. And I've became so conscious with the way I look, I really care about being pretty or not. I know that I have my uniqueness so that I shouldn't mind too much about her life but I just can't help it.. I keep analysing my situation about how no guys liked me - which makes me feel unattractive. The thing is more I don't think she's that much prettier than me so I don't get why all the compliments are blown her way. I guess I'm reserved and shy, while she's really outgoing and fun. But still, the contrast can't be that huge. Everytime I hear about her getting hit on, or having a new admirer, I end up feeling so crap about myself. and this jealousy just arouses my sadness. I know this sounds mad but I have been trying to get over this for as long as I remember.. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 confidence is the key here. I'm sure you're just as beautiful in your own way but the difference is..she's confident, open, outgoing..as you mentioned and you're quiet and timid. If I was exposed to two girls that I had never met in my life I'd be more likely to talk to the one who seems more friendly and confident..to me, quietness and shyness = awkwardness. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I guess I'm reserved and shy, while she's really outgoing and fun. I know you think this isn't making a huge difference, but it is. She is making people feel good, and that's a huge aphrodisiac. Link to comment
chelsea13 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Yes I understand, but I'm saying that even random people will come up to her for her number even without knowing about her personality. Classic example is this guy asked for her number last week when she was shopping.. then he started calling her up, asking her out etc. Link to comment
Binoo Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Yes I understand, but I'm saying that even random people will come up to her for her number even without knowing about her personality. Classic example is this guy asked for her number last week when she was shopping.. then he started calling her up, asking her out etc. A lot of people can sense confidence. I'm like you, very shy and reserved, but I've had my days where I just feel on top of the world, very confident, and those are the days when I seem to get a lot of attention I don't conciously ask for. They sense it... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Look at her body language and look at yours. Even people who do not know you respond to welcoming body language. If you have body language that screams leave me alone, you will be perceived as less confident and fewer people will want to get to know you. Smile, always smile and have welcoming body postures and I bet all this will change. Link to comment
chelsea13 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Lately I found myself accumulating all the people who called me pretty and and try to analyse whether I'm attractive or not. Then I start analysing those who haven't called me pretty and try to figure out whether I'm still pretty in their eyes.. I think this is pathetic and frankly I'm way too obsessed. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Lately I found myself accumulating all the people who called me pretty and and try to analyse whether I'm attractive or not. Then I start analysing those who haven't called me pretty and try to figure out whether I'm still pretty in their eyes.. I think this is pathetic and frankly I'm way too obsessed. Pretty has really very little to do with it. Many many people who are not classically pretty have enormous numbers of friends. It is confidence and your body language. A smile can do wonders! Link to comment
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