Vince99 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I wonder if in fact women LIKE worrying about whether their man might cheat on them. And once they see he wouldn't, he becomes less attractive. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 no, i'm a lot more interested in guys who i know wouldn't cheat. i like feeling secure, i don't like feeling anxious at all!!! Link to comment
yeawutever Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I wonder if in fact women LIKE worrying about whether their man might cheat on them. And once they see he wouldn't, he becomes less attractive. Why would a woman worry about getting cheated on??? Unless there's been some issues in the past, esp. if he cheated before and got taken back. If that's not the case and the guy never cheated on her then it's the woman with low self-esteem and/or insecurity issues. If you have to get nervous about being cheated on then stay single, relationships are suppost to be happy ones with trust and not give you migraines. Link to comment
lila... Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Whatttt?! Of course not! And I would think most normal, sane women don't think so either. To me there's nothing worse in a relationship and more of a dealbreaker than cheating. Link to comment
Vince99 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not saying they want him to cheat. But it's like having something over him. Like, "Oh, I see now that he's completely trustworthy. That's one less thing I have to use against him if I need to". And then bam...attraction level decrease. I'm not saying I'm right. I just wondered. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Why would you think that? No, not for me. I've said it before though: having no cheating as a standard in your life usually means trade-offs. There's just so many people out there who will put up with it (in themselves or others). Just because someone doesn't cheat doesn't mean they won't have their issues or their things that aren't all fabulous. A loyal person can get stomped on all the same. It's no safety card. It just is what it is. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not saying they want him to cheat. But it's like having something over him. Like, "Oh, I see now that he's completely trustworthy. That's one less thing I have to use against him if I need to". And then bam...attraction level decrease. I'm not saying I'm right. I just wondered. I see what you are saying to be honest. It's almost like some want the thrill of the chase, the competitive edge to continue and they want to outdo any potential girl that comes along who may entice you to stray.. It's bollocks if you ask me and any girl who needs that, or even thinks you are going to cheat when you have done nothing whatsoever needs to take a good look at themselves as it isn't fair on the poor bloke. (Been there) Link to comment
Vince99 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 None of this is coming out the way it's playing in my head...but It's not even that they think you're GOING to. It's just knowing that you MIGHT. And once they know you won't...I don't know. Next time I'll get my question/thought straight before starting the topic. Link to comment
laisla Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 i always assume they won't in a relationship. Link to comment
lila... Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 None of this is coming out the way it's playing in my head...but It's not even that they think you're GOING to. It's just knowing that you MIGHT. And once they know you won't...I don't know. Next time I'll get my question/thought straight before starting the topic. Well, that possibility exists with everyone no? Nobody can be 100% certain that their partner will not cheat, there's always the possibility. However, I don't get a high from that, like annie said..I wouldn't want the worrying that comes with it. Link to comment
Seymore Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not saying they want him to cheat. But it's like having something over him. Like, "Oh, I see now that he's completely trustworthy. That's one less thing I have to use against him if I need to". And then bam...attraction level decrease. I'm not saying I'm right. I just wondered. You've got a point there. Almost like a "He's not going anywhere, I can take him for granted" type thing. Been there, experienced that. They can lose attraction, withhold sex, so long as they get what they want, they know he's not going to stray. Not ALL women, but there ARE a few out there... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Men and women both of this particular kind. It does open a person to being vulnerable and some people can't handle the responsibilities that come when an actual commitment is made. Link to comment
Seymore Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Men and women both of this particular kind. It does open a person to being vulnerable and some people can't handle the responsibilities that come when an actual commitment is made. I stand corrected. Men AND women. Link to comment
alphamayle Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 FWIW, I let my LTR girlfriends know that cheating was never going to be an issue. I stuck by my word. I never had any reason to think my girlfriends would ever cheat (and they didn't). Link to comment
Seymore Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 FWIW, I let my LTR girlfriends know that cheating was never going to be an issue. I stuck by my word. I never had any reason to think my girlfriends would ever cheat (and they didn't). I always do the same. Never cheated in my life. But haven't any of those LTR girlfriends taken such solace in the fact you'd never stray that they'd abuse that? Take you for granted, etc.? Link to comment
Mia_of_Doom Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not saying they want him to cheat. But it's like having something over him. Like, "Oh, I see now that he's completely trustworthy. That's one less thing I have to use against him if I need to". And then bam...attraction level decrease. I'm not saying I'm right. I just wondered. I see what you're saying. But I don't treat relationships that way. It's stupid and pointless to try having some kind of hidden card just in case you need it. And I certainly don't become less attracted if I trust someone. Link to comment
PoisonIvy Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Men and women both of this particular kind. It does open a person to being vulnerable and some people can't handle the responsibilities that come when an actual commitment is made. Indeed. Games are irritating. Not really worthwhile, in my opinion. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I had an ex who swore up and down that keeping a woman on edge/insecure was the way to run a relationship. He said it made her "try harder"....to please him, I guess. I told him flat out that wouldn't work with me. He thought I was kidding. You'll notice I referred to him as my ex. He was dumbfounded when one day I said I had enough and left and never looked back. Dunno if that's what you're getting at, but I was reminded of it when I read your initial post that started this thread. Link to comment
doyathink Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 That is too stressful to me. I want to know he wont even tho I know everyone is capable. Link to comment
Lissy Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I see what you're saying, but for me, it would be exactly the opposite. If I knew that a guy would never cheat on me no matter what, it would make me more attracted to him, not less. After what I went through in my last relationship, that would be gold to me! Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I see what you're saying, but for me, it would be exactly the opposite. If I knew that a guy would never cheat on me no matter what, it would make me more attracted to him, not less. After what I went through in my last relationship, that would be gold to me! yeah, exactly!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I wonder if in fact women LIKE worrying about whether their man might cheat on them. And once they see he wouldn't, he becomes less attractive. I can imagine anyone would like this. It's not fun or exciting wondering if you're being cheated on. At least not to me. My life isn't a soap opera. I wouldn't be with a man that I thought would cheat. Link to comment
alphamayle Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 I always do the same. Never cheated in my life. But haven't any of those LTR girlfriends taken such solace in the fact you'd never stray that they'd abuse that? Take you for granted, etc.? I never picked up any signals that they’d abuse my trust. They never took me for granted. Other issues did come up, but that particular flavor of dishonesty wasn’t among them. FWIW, cheating is a deal-breaker for me, and I'd expect the same from anyone I'd ever be in an exclusive relationship with. Games are irritating. Not really worthwhile, in my opinion. Hear, hear! I had an ex who swore up and down that keeping a woman on edge/insecure was the way to run a relationship. He said it made her "try harder"....to please him, I guess. I told him flat out that wouldn't work with me. He thought I was kidding. You'll notice I referred to him as my ex. He was dumbfounded when one day I said I had enough and left and never looked back. Way to go. Hopefully in his next relationship he’ll think twice in about his methods for keeping a woman “in line”. Doyathink - I love your sig line! Link to comment
velvette Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 I can see what you mean.... but that only works for women who like drama. and then the pair can do drama together. to each their own. but not for me! Link to comment
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