thisishard Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 My ex broke up with me 7 months ago. We got back together a couple of times but we haven't seen each other in almost 4 months and I went NC almost 3 months ago. He wanted to be friends and I told him a million times that I couldn't handle it but he didn't get it, so I finally just went NC but didn't really explain to him that I was going to (its obviously more complicated than that but I'll spare you). Needless to say, I still want him back. A couple days ago I went somewhere that I knew he would be (see previous post for story). I avoided him and he avoided me, but it kind of backfired on me because now I want him back more than ever, just because he didn't even say hi to me. My goal with NC was to help me get over him and make him want me back, but it seems like just the opposite is happening. I'm wondering if I made him mad at me by going NC so suddenly (not that he didn't deserve it). I know its ridiculous and I sound like I'm in middle school (I'm almost 25), but now I want to call him and go places that he will be more than ever. I feel fairly certain that I shouldn't and I don't think I will, but I need some support. You don't think he hates me now do you? Was he just ignoring me because he thought thats what I wanted? Should I keep NC up? Help! Link to comment
Vince99 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 My goal with NC was to help me get over him and make him want me back You cannot MAKE him want you back. That is not the purpose of NC. Link to comment
uj2004 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 3 months of NC kind of tells you he wants nothing to do with you....I am in the same boat, figuring mine wants nothing to do with me. I think you would be setting yourself up for even more hurt by making contact. Link to comment
thisishard Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 You cannot MAKE him want you back. That is not the purpose of NC. Yeah, I guess that's not really what I meant Link to comment
thisishard Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 3 months of NC kind of tells you he wants nothing to do with you....I am in the same boat, figuring mine wants nothing to do with me. I think you would be setting yourself up for even more hurt by making contact. He has called me and sent me a few messages, the last one was 3 weeks ago. The reason we have had NC is because I haven't responded. Link to comment
Vince99 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 He WANTED to be friends (big mistake on his part, IMO) and you said no. Then you broke him off. There's no telling what he has been going through the last 3 months. He probably is pissed at you. Then you reversed any progress you'd made on yourself by going to his hangout. You need to start completely over on NC. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 It shouldn't really matter to you what his feelings are. The relationship is over and he obviously needs space, considering you haven't spoken for so long. You need the space too. I know what it's like to see an ex you still have feelings for and to be completely ignored - it's heartbreaking. He probably had no idea what to say - and the only reason he ignored you is because you ignored his last messages so he got the point that you don't want to talk!! Isn't that why you are in NC? Seeing him probably feels like a big setback - from now on stay away from places you KNOW he will be, and keep staying strong with your NC. It's meant to HEAL you and by no means ever "wins" anyone back. Link to comment
thisishard Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 I guess I'll just stick it out for a while longer and see what happens. I do need to be able to be friends with him at some point. I can't avoid this place forever. Link to comment
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