Nothing helps

[Tori1188]

A few months back, one of my boyfriend's friends made a joke about sleeping with me while I vistited my boyfriend on the road. This guy even wrote me an e-mail asking if I thought I should leave my boyfriend. I didn't answer the e-mail and I didn't sleep with his friend of course, but because I have no real way to prove that I didn't sleep with him My boyfriend won't give me the benefit of the doubt. He even has nightmares about me sleeping with this friend and I've told him a million times that I was good to him, but he can't believe me. I'm hurt that he thinks I'm the type of girl who would do that. Nothing I say will convince him. Now what?

[Mia_of_Doom]

Dump him.

 

He's insecure and doesn't trust you when you've done nothing wrong. Relationships need trust to survive. You deserve better.

[gidget1]

I think rather than straight up dumping him you should tell him that without his trust the relationship WILL NOT work and he will be very unhappy. You will end up resenting eachother.

Trust is really the key and if he loses trust there isn't anything YOU can do to gain it back, rather, he has to work on it and realise that he CAN trust you.

Tell him that he has no reason to distrust you and if he can't put his faith in you then you'll have to leave him because it will only make the relationship unbearable.

[impossible]

While dumping him might be a bit extreme at this point - you need to talk to him.

 

Has your boyfriend read this email that his friend sent you?

 

Tell him that HIS friend is making this up - what kind of friend is he really to you.

 

You could be sneaky and try to speak with his friend and try to get him to say that you never slept together, but get it on tape (hidden of course) then replay it to your boyfriend. Figure out a way to get your boyfriend to see what kind of friend he really has.

 

While he is probably a bit insecure and isn't showing a lot of trust in you, id say many people would act somewhat similar if one of your friends said something like that. It would put doubt there.

 

If none of that works. Tell him he needs to trust you. if he loves you. you have done nothing wrong. and if he cant, the relationship wont survive. If he lets you walk away and then finds out you were telling the truth, he will be kicking himself, and probably punching his friend out.

[ghost69]

tell him how his friend has been harassing you.

[JusticeLaw9]

Your boyfriend needs a new friend. Show him the evidence why. If you provide the email his "friend" sent to you, he has no choice but to believe you. Otherwise, he's extremely insecure.

[Tori1188]

Well my boyfriend is no longer at his old job. So we're not even in the same state as this "friend". And he was never that close to the guy in the first place. I told my boyfriend about the e-mail as soon as I got it, he was pissed and told me not to reply , so I didn't.

But my boyfriend really seems to think it's possible that I could've slept with this guy. I would think he would put that past me. I am the only one of us who HASn't cheated before! I told him it sounds stupid to think that I would spend so much money to visit him on the road for 3 weeks, and sleep with someone else while I was visiting? Yeah I suppose I COULD'VE snuck out of his room at night to sleep with the other guy, but that's so sleazy! But in my boyfriend's mind, as long as it's a possibility, he can't allow himself to believe me and risk looking like a fool.

Meanwhile...I didn't even TALK to his friend during the visit.

[KrisAnn]

His insecurity about cheating is probably so bad because HE has cheated before....so it's not so much that he's convinced that you absolutely did, he probably just can't get it out of his head that it's a possibility because he did it himself.

 

I had an issue with one of my good guy friends a few years ago - we were always very flirty (we have known each other since high school), and my fiance saw one of the conversations we were having over instant messenger. To me, it was completely innocent stuff because I knew that nothing would ever come of it...but to my fiance, it was completely disrespectful. He told me that he didn't like it, I talked to my guy friend and asked him to not joke with me like that anymore because it made my fiance uncomfortable, and he was completely respectful of that.

 

I think that just flat out dumping him is WAY too drastic. Talk to him seriously about what you're feeling, that nothing ever happened and nothing ever would. If he can't accept that, then maybe it is time to think about ending the relationship.