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I'm confused by peoples intentions!!


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This could be long so I'll try and keep it short... A girl blew into my life 4 years ago.. Went very fast ...Instant chemistry but I had flags...needy... constant validation beeded.. no emotional skin...everything cut like a knife...bad childhood...multiple marriages...no friends... anyways went downhill...she was verbally/emotionally and in the end physically abusive. She left me after 2 years for another guy inevitably. So here I sit 2 years out. Found out through her telling me over a year into the relationship that she had been diagnosed Panic/Anxiety but the meds were in her glovebox and she wouldnt take them because of the side affects...Thanks after a year...Near the end she wanted to go to the counsellor we had been to cause she understood her.. wanted to go back on meds and wanted me to support her.. then pfffffffft 2 weeks later. 6 months later I find out that her and my best friend had become best friends. In this time I had been to the samr counsellor ho had seen us together and through alot of talking and describing the relationship the therapist determined she could very well be Bi-Polar or BPD... I did 6 months of reading and research and from what I lived I truly think she is BPD. So in a chance email encounter with my ex I told her what she did to me and my son. How she beat down my self confidence and self esteem and that I do think she is mentally ill. I loved her like no other.. She was THE ONE... and how could she do this do us and I hope she gets the help she needs. Of course she came back with your disgusting and I never want to here or see you again. Meanwhile my best friend has listened to her story and is now painting me black and and blaming me for the entire failure of the relationship. Her words... ther is nothing wrong with her.. you stressed her out. So I dumped her as a friend. My friend of 10 years that my ex turned against me. Fast forward 1 year... this past September. I get an email form my ex that was deleted by my account before I could read it. Then 4 days later an email from a friend I stopped contact with cause she was part of the group. Chain letter directed only at me saying.. You have been struggling.. something special is coming your way.. Nothing for 3 months.. Christmas.. an ooops wrong email email from my ex at work.. Then one week later.. a chain letter directed only at me from the friend who sent the previous one saying I didnt leave you alone in 2008 and wont in 2009. Nothing till this pat week. The ex best friend I jettisoned because she sided with my ex left some CD's on my deck I left at her house 4 YEARS ago with a note saying " Was cleaning, found these and thought you might like them.. hope all is well. Now my last email 18 months ago to her was that I have to remove my abusive ex and anyone who has contact with her 100% from my life for my own health. Couldnt have said it more blunt. Told my ex she is emotionally sick and hope she gets the help she needs.

- I do not want this friend back

- I do not want my ex as a friend.

- I do not care if she is worried about me

That being said, if she was getting the help she needs I would talk but I love her to much to ever be friends

 

WHY THE CONTACT NOW.... I fell off the face of the earth in there circles. Thwy dont know what I have been up to for 2 years. I moved on like they suggested. This is like picking a scab thou. It never heals.

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