CoCo2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I feel so sad and I cry a lot. I hate myself and I can't get out of this life I live. I hate everything about it and I just don't want it anymore. I feel like I don't care anymore about anything. I'm just waiting for everything else to come crashing down on top of me because I just dont care anymore about anything. I just sit online all day and do nothing I don't even look for a job. I just sit here and sit here and sit here. I can't do anything I have no motivation. I'm alone and I don't care anymore I feel so bad. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 how long have you felt this way? (by the way, a lot of us have times when we feel nothing but hopelessness and despair. I think the idea that our lives should and can always be great is a myth. Things go wrong. we have failure, disappointment, dreams we fail to reach. There's a lot of things in this world that might make someone feel the way you do)... but still, it would be great if you can find a way to feel happier about your life. Is there anything which you can tell us which is getting you down? And is there anything in this life which is good that you can think of? maybe there's a way out for you. Just give us more to work with, maybe some of us will be able to offer some advice. Anyway, I'm sorry you're suffering this much. Link to comment
Jetta Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I don't cry anymore but I understand how you feel. I've asked God to take me away and well it hasn't happened but I had a near miss with a bus yesterday. My luck would have resulted in injury not death though, if I had been hit. Maybe you need to see a therapist or try anti-depressants. I got the therapist thing going and it helps, but reading all these messages just reminds me how I really feel when I'm not to busy living life. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 What happened? I'm depressed, I lost my job, my boyfriend broke up with me, I'm broke. He said I was so mean to him and he tried all he could but he couldn't be with me anymore. I'm lonely. I have no friends. I'm stuck, its like everytime I try to take a step forward my feet are stuck and I can't figure out which way to go. I'm confused. I have social anxiety, I'm shy, I have low self esteem, I'm insecure. I'm a mess Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 I don't cry anymore but I understand how you feel. I've asked God to take me away and well it hasn't happened but I had a near miss with a bus yesterday. My luck would have resulted in injury not death though, if I had been hit. Maybe you need to see a therapist or try anti-depressants. I got the therapist thing going and it helps, but reading all these messages just reminds me how I really feel when I'm not to busy living life. I want to die too, I'm just afraid of how it will hurt and I'm scared if I will go to hell if I commit suicide. Link to comment
Lighting1 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 No don't commit suicide. You should probably see a therapist or try antidepressant and if you have any friends or family turn to them for advice. I know when you're depressed you just want to be alone but that only makes it worse and most of all don't give up on yourself. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 thank you for responding. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 No don't commit suicide. You should probably see a therapist or try antidepressant and if you have any friends or family turn to them for advice. I know when you're depressed you just want to be alone but that only makes it worse and most of all don't give up on yourself. im too embarassed to see a therapist and I don't have any insurance so I don't really want to go to a free clinic. they are pretty bad Link to comment
Lighting1 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Do you have anyone to talk to so your not sitting around alone all the time? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Not really, I have my mom, and my older sister but they don't really understand. My younger sister is wrapped up in her own young world... All they tell me is that I need God in my life. They don't understand anything about me. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I used to be embarrassed about seeing a counsellor (I think that's the same as a therapist) It's dumb though. We live in a society which makes us feel like we're supposed to be up all the time, and end up feeling ashamed when we're down, but that's a myth. it's not reality. The best of us have dark periods in our lives. And reaching out for assistance is fine. I was embarrassed... but I went anyway. The counsellor/therapist wasn't that amazing or wise, but it helped me just to talk. I've also called up helplines in my city. I think in the US you have 1800SUICIDE or 7842433 (link removed). I've had many times where I thought about suicide. It's always so tempting when life is so scary and hard sometimes. But please remember, that only the most boring of people go through life without any major periods of unhappiness or crisis, or tough times. As horrible as it is for you now, this situation you're in where everything has gone wrong, and you don't have much support, or confidence.... it's an opportunity for you to get stronger, by finding ways of getting through it. The first step is for you to have the desire to be strong in the face of this, and focus on that goal rather the goal of escape. I've had many times where I felt there was little hope, but for some reason, I ended up chosing to try. I reached out, wherever I could. I didn't find immediate fix all solutions to my problems, but l did surprise myself by talking to people and discovering that what seems hopeless once minute, can look a little bit, or sometimes a lot less dramatic after you've talked about it. And whatever hell you're in right now is temporary. Society tells us we're supposed to be happy all the time, and then when it turns out to be a lie, we get upset that we're not happy. I've had a lot of disappointment in my life. I've given up on things going my way most of the time, and I just try to think of life as a learning experiment. the goal isn't about being happy and fulfilled anymore. it's more about learning about myself. and observing life. just like sometimes journalists visit disaster zones for the story, I stick around in life, just as an observer. Just for the story. I also practice buddhist meditation which helps me be less attached to the idea of being happy all the time, and it makes everything feel a lot less dramatic. I'm sure you have many great things to offer this world, so you just need to be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for being in a mess right now, it's normal, and just ride out this hard time and patiently work towards getting healthy. It's normal to feel despair, but keep reminding yourself to think about the positives, and the opportunities you still have. It could be worse. You could have less opportunities to help yourself than you have now. Appreciate and use what you have. And SURVIVE. Link to comment
Lighting1 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'll say this much, if you're not committing suicde for fear of going to hell then it's not like you don't have God in your life. If you're not going to get outside help you should at least try to help yourself by getting out there and getting things done. Sitting around not looking for a job won't help you find one. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 One my buoys in dark, dark times was volunteering. I'm not kidding. It's a place where you know and will feel you are needed because you are. There's no pressure; people are coming from all sorts of situations. I've found a lot of compassion and really when it comes down to it - humane people, decent people - from volunteering. And sometimes it's that knowing that someone else is waiting for you, who you are accountable to that can get you up when you really would rather sit looking at the wall in your jammies. And there was always food. I got sent home with so much extra food it was crazy. You pass it on when you can for someone else. I don't know what is in your area. But think about it. Even if you are feeling lost, there is someone out there right now who would really appreciate your presence. It's as simple and lovely as that. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 I guess I'm evil or just plain mean because I don't want to be around anyone at all. Especially people who needs volunteers. I don't know. I guess I have to figure it out somehow before its too late. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Something I always ask myself when I feel lost, blocked, hopeless and uninspired, is "what is my true desire?" ask yourself that. see what you find? and see if you can work towards it. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Something I always ask myself when I feel lost, blocked, hopeless and uninspired, is "what is my true desire?" ask yourself that. see what you find? and see if you can work towards it. Thank you, I appreciate your advice and your responding. Thanks all of you. I guess I need to try and keep thinking of stuff to do to get better. Link to comment
Lighting1 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Just don't give up. It's hard now but think of how much stronger you'll feel when you get through all of it. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Girl.. I just want to let you know I'm in the same boat as you! I lost my boyfriend and I'm unemployed as well so I know what you're going through. Sorry if I'm not much help but just know that you're not alone! Link to comment
unknown21 Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Wow, I feel the exact same way...my life sucks sooo bad. I do nothing with my time and its really depressing Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 Yeah I'm really trying not to just sit on my behind all day and do nothing Link to comment
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