caligirl98 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Addicted. This is how I feel about my ex. I feel this is like an addiction I have to overcome. I started NC and now I’m going through the withdrawl phase. Hopefully this will pass soon and I can live my life without craving the addiction. We get weak at times with our addiction and tell ourselves we just need it once more and then we will stop it. Like a smoker needing one more smoke…I feel like that. I want to talk to my ex “one last time”. Well…that last time turns into the 2nd to last time because then there is another time when I get weak and say “THIS will be the last time” and so on and so on…. I’m on day 6 of NC after 3 months of NC on and off…this time I’m stronger and am committed to trying and stay “clean” and off my drug of choice…my ex. I love how we all support each other here. It’s like heartbroken anonymous. We can get through it. We have to! Or else our ex will always have a hold and have power over us! NC is the way to get clean. I was listening to this song and can totally relate. It’s by Kelly Clarkson and it’s called “Addicted” My fave part…. “I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this” Below are all the lyrics…I bolded the ones that stand out to me “It's like you're a drug It's like you're a demon I can't face down It's like I'm stuck It's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the power It's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like you're a leech Sucking the life from me It's like I can't breathe Without you inside of me And I know I let you have all the power And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time Chorus It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm lost It's like I'm giving up slowly It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me Leave me alone And I know these voices in my head Are mine alone And I know I'll never change my ways If I don't give you up now Chorus repeat I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this Chorus repeat” Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I wrote something with a similar theme last month when I was feeling pretty low, it was a bit darker than that though haha! But that's exactly what its like, an addiction. And that's why we have to take it day by day, it's not something that you get over overnight. Link to comment
heartbroken9 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 You are so right..I feel like that all the time..I always tell myself.."just one more time" and it only ends up hurting me more..BUT this post was so positive. We can def. get through it! =) Link to comment
canali Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 there ARE actual biochemical processes in our brains when we hook up to someone so yes there is some basis in this...but it is also the way we CLING to illusions that are no longer valid ie, our beliefs, unmet needs, self confidence in general etc. i liken breaking up to both an addiction and also a real injury: we have to show ourselves both discipline (NC and other plans to heal) and loving compassion, ie, if you have a broken arm or strained muscle you wouldn't just 'wish' or 'think' it better, right? ..it takes time to heal ..but some of us needlessly prolong our suffering, too. Link to comment
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