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It has been 11 days of no contact since i last saw my ex. I went to her place to pick up my stuff. She was cold said she couldnt tell me her feelings. Long boring story. Before that we didnt see each other for 6 weeks where she decided "it just didnt feel right".


Anyway, the days are very very hard. I did all the work. I went to counseling. I read all the books I could, and fought for her as hard as I could. I am proud of myself for fighting , but disappointed it took her dumping me to realize my faults.


The last talk she said she would call again, and we'll see what happens. I find myself spending too much time thinking about what i would say if she called. I worry about her alot because her job is dangerous. I feel like I am being too nice about this, when i need to get mad and get over her. she email dumped me and didnt want to fight for this relationship. but she gave me all the bs at the end how we should just spend time alone, then we'll talk.


does anybody else find themselves stuck in the position of hoping , when there really isnt alot of hope?

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they suck hey.

my hearts hoping for a friendship, he convinced me he wanted to be good mates, but my heads telling me to cut off all forms of contact with him forever (currently in day 10 of NC), because those connections will only cause me more pain.


i obbsess a lot about what i would say to him, if or when i talk to him next, like u said u do...and its probally unhealthy, holding me back a bit more from letting go, but its like the only form of contact i can hold on to.


hang in there

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well we havent talked in 12 days. she was so strange the last day we talked. she said she wanted to be alone for awhile, and said it would be good for me to be alone for awhile too. she is first person i dated after divorce. it just makes me mad, because i dont want to be alone. i wanted to be with her. if you find the person that makes you happy, why not be with them. i have to get over the fact she dosent want to be with me.


she hasnt said anything in a long time, and i dont know if she ever will. when she said we would talk again, it was probally just break up talk.

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