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I feel like I messed up my relationship.


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I don't know where to post this, I am new here except for my other post that was moved here. I just feel like if I didn't have all these insecurities and I wasn't so argumentative my boyfriend wouldn't have left me and we wouldn't have faught so much. I was too needy.. I feel like I messed up a relationship with someone who really loved me and that I kept pushing him away and pushing away because of my past that he just finally gave up after trying to fight and stay together with me. I'm lost and I have deep regret for all the bad things I did for the past 6 years with the bickering and nagging. He used to be the sweetest guy to me, he used to treat me like a princess and I just messed it up and I don't know why. I feel so freaking bad. He won't talk to now. He blocked my texts and won't pick up when I answer the phone. I shouldn't have lost my temper and started to yell and curse at him. I don't know why I did it. I just felt so angry at that time. I tried to tell him sorry but he wouldn't listen and he just left and now he's gone forever. How am I supposed to just move on, I'm sorry for what I did!

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Give him some time before you try to contact him again with an apology. Right after a break up it is normal for the dumper to have mostly angry thoughts of you in his head because after all its why he walked away from the RS but after a few months the bad times blend out with the good times and his approach to you will be more neutral and this is when you step in and say sorry. This is your best chance of getting him back and in the mean time I would work on yourself a bit so in the event he gives you another shot you cut with the nagging and whatever else

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I empathise with your situation because I was on the end of that too. I treated my girlfriend like the princess I believed her to be and would have walked to Texas and back just to be with her. But her past fears and pessimism killed any positivity I brought to the table and I had to leave before she destroyed my spirit, and let her sort things out.


My best advice to you would be to give it a few months and let the emotions and feelings settle. They will be raw right now, no doubt and clouded with the reasons of why he left.


I can almost guarantee that he probably still loves you and will remember the good times - I know I do. If you recognise what you have done and that you need to change it, he may well support you in it. Again, I think I would. Bonds don't break that easy but he has to see you want to change not just for the relationship, but for yourself too. In fact, regardless of whether you reconcile or not, you have to want that change for yourself, not just for redemption and to get him back.


All the best,



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I have been trying to be a better person, I really have. I just wish that I could do this faster. I hate myself for ruining things like this.


Don't be too hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes and we can't all lead a perfect life without error.


Why not explain your fears a bit more? I am sure that several people on the forums can drop some advice?

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you have such a terribly low self esteem, you should strongly consider going to counseling, this attitude will put you back into a bad situation 10 times out of 10.


beaten wives often truly and deeply feel that they deserved being beaten by their spouses.. the mind is a very powerful thing, and can be severely illogical when its out of balance.

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But I wasn't beaten..thats why I feel bad.


you missed the point. YOUR MIND can play tricks on you!

thats what its doing right now. honestly even if you were the 100% bad one in this, and even if you do feel sorry and win him back--YOU havent changed!!

You'll probably revert to whatever it was you were doing before and he will too!-- because you havent really learned anything, nothing is sunk in yet--you are still in a state of bias shock over all this.


get counseling and WAIT.

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It will be the best thing for you if he never calls or sees you again. I know you do not think that but it is the truth. PLease regain who you are and find your self worth. It takes TWO to tango and it is not only ONE that is to blame. You may have hit him, not right, but he put a hole in your door and hit you and threatened to break your limbs. ANYONE with self control does not respond this way.

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