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Am I too trusting?


Bedelia

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I have a weird question/issue. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, things are great we're totally in love and I trust him whole heartedly. He has this friend who we used to hang out with quite a bit, he and his girlfriend (Dan and Carrie sound like good fake names to me.) But then one day my BF gets a call from Dan who says Carrie doesn't want all of us to get together anymore. My BF and Dan can hang out, at her house and ONLY if she is present...but I am never allowed to be involved. Apparently she has determined that I am bad influence because I "allow my BF to go out with his friends alone." This was a direct quote. Um ok...

 

Now I would normally just chalk this up to Carrie being crazy and think nothing of it. I never liked her anyway. But then my BF goes to a party with another friend..um Fred I'll say. I wasn't there because I was visiting family, and Fred's girlfriend was also out of town or something. Anyway I get a call from Fred during the party. He starts ranting like "did I know that BF went to a party without me. He's been talking to girls..." I had to cut him off to let him know that I did in fact know they were at a party (I actually got the text invite myself and called my BF to let him know about the party, I thought it would be fun for he and his friend to go, silly me.) Later I asked my BF about it and he laughed and said Fred was weird all night because his girlfriend wasn't answering the phone, and any time a girl would try to talk to him Fred simply ignored her and would not even acknowledge her presence. Then Fred made BF promise not to tell anyone they went to the party lest it get back to her. Well she found out somehow because I get an email from Fred's girlfriend like a week later LIVID at me for telling them about the party.

 

Ok, so my question is are these people crazy? Or am I too relaxed with the "rules" of our relationship, too trusting? One instance I wouldn't even think twice about...but if this kind of thing has happened twice with two separate couples then maybe I'm in the wrong. Wow just writing all this makes me think this is the stupidest problem ever. If you've made it this far I thank you!

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Sounds like the 2 girls you mentioned are quite controlling, especially as one of the guys was scared about her finding out about the party!

 

I think you are normal, and they have issues.

 

Not sure I would be 100% ok with getting a phone call saying my bf was talking to loads of girls at a party though, so maybe you are more laid back than me

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I am slightly confused. Fred's girlfriend was mad that you told Fred & your bf about the party? But then Fred called you to basically narc on your bf that he was "at a party behind your back" when you were the one who told them both about it anyway. Yet at the same time Fred was trying to hide the fact that he was at this party from his girlfriend. Right?

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I know the whole thing just seems ridiculous. I thought as much but with two separate girls having similar reactions, just wanted to make sure. I think both guys are terrified of their girlfriends and it has screwed with their perception of reality. Thankfully we recently moved accross the country and won't be seeing these people anyway.

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I think that the two girls you mentioned are just jealous. It might be because they don't want their boyfriends to see how well you treat your boyfriend and realize that they can do better than the girls they have now. They want to be in control and see you as a threat. Not to stealing away their boyfriends but more of changing their views on how their girlfriend's are.

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