Wanted Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 So as most of you know my story, I decided to write everything i felt on a letter (was 5 pages!) so i asked her to pass by after work so she can pick "something" up and she came. So about 2 hours later she calls crying and tells me she thinks i am right, that she is just "scared of going back becuase it might all go back to the same thing" her first words were. She also went to say why i diden't realize everything sooner. So at the end of us talking for about 40 minutes through the phone she says "Ok, look...let's not talk till next Monday (a week) and let's see where we stand there" so i am going along with it and it has been 2 days...and i would think it is maybe so i can leave her alone but that is not the case becuase she is the one that has been texting and calling me as of late. So i am thinking she really wants to see if i am going to respect it? Or she really wants to see how it is? She also mentioned everything she does, see, ect reminds her of me. I don't even know anything anymore. But i feel good...i just miss her so much and wake up with her on my mind on a daily basis. As far as me comes, im doing good! Link to comment
Rob1000 Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 Wait until Monday. Let her miss you even more. Link to comment
melrich Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 "scared of going back becuase it might all go back to the same thing" What is the "same thing" she is talking about? Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I'd say it was a good idea because it worked in your favor. I personally think it's better to communicate feelings face to face. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 i think you should respect it and wait until monday. i know it is excrutiating!!! but you gotta wait. Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I think it was risky that you wrote this letter but it has worked "for now". You may have analysed and identified the problems in the relationship but unless you know how you're going to solve these problems long term - you're just going to repeat your mistakes. Then you will be accused of "overcompensating" by your ex and she will remember this the next time you fight or break up. In her mind history will repeat itself and no amount of "change" you say will make a difference. Thus the reason she said she is "....scared of going back becuase it might all go back to the same thing". Link to comment
Wanted Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 What is the "same thing" she is talking about? My story... Link to comment
Wanted Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 I'd say it was a good idea because it worked in your favor. I personally think it's better to communicate feelings face to face. I 110% agree with you face to face i'd choose too!, but everytime we try to we get inturupted or something happens, which is why i decided to just write the letter! Link to comment
Wanted Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 I think it was risky that you wrote this letter but it has worked "for now". You may have analysed and identified the problems in the relationship but unless you know how you're going to solve these problems long term - you're just going to repeat your mistakes. Then you will be accused of "overcompensating" by your ex and she will remember this the next time you fight or break up. In her mind history will repeat itself and no amount of "change" you say will make a difference. Thus the reason she said she is "....scared of going back becuase it might all go back to the same thing". I KNOW! That i can change it long term. I would NOT want to lose her again, TRUST me! And i have aknowledged everything ive done wrong, and i even remember the actual moments i did wrong! I took her for granted basically, and thought no matter what she'd be there...which i was an idiot to think that way. I regret so much things. Like they say, you never know what you have till it is gone! Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I KNOW! That i can change it long term. I would NOT want to lose her again, TRUST me! And i have aknowledged everything ive done wrong, and i even remember the actual moments i did wrong! I took her for granted basically, and thought no matter what she'd be there...which i was an idiot to think that way. I regret so much things. Like they say, you never know what you have till it is gone! Friend, I know you have good intentions. But I have been there, I have done that. I am not you of course, but I can tell you, I felt the same as you about my ex. I thought I could change too... Know that good intentions mean nothing without actions and that lasting change requires consistency. Link to comment
Wanted Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Friend, I know you have good intentions. But I have been there, I have done that. I am not you of course, but I can tell you, I felt the same as you about my ex. I thought I could change too... Know that good intentions mean nothing without actions and that lasting change requires consistency. I know exactly what you mean. This is the third time she breaks up with me and the first two times i caught myslef being all talk. But this time around i know that i can change all my wrongs becuase i am more mature and exprienced and i actually have asked people for adivce, read tons of relationship things, ENA, ect. Something i did not do the first two times and i have grown up in my life period! Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I know exactly what you mean. This is the third time she breaks up with me and the first two times i caught myslef being all talk. But this time around i know that i can change all my wrongs becuase i am more mature and exprienced and i actually have asked people for adivce, read tons of relationship things, ENA, ect. Something i did not do the first two times and i have grown up in my life period! This is great to see. By all means DO IT NOW, make those changes before it's too late. Don't forget that it takes continuous effort, that you must be consistent in your efforts to change. You must do this... essentially forever. God speed to you man, I hope you realise how lucky you are to be given another chance. Link to comment
Wanted Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 This is great to see. By all means DO IT NOW, make those changes before it's too late. Don't forget that it takes continuous effort, that you must be consistent in your efforts to change. You must do this... essentially forever. God speed to you man, I hope you realise how lucky you are to be given another chance. I know, well she did not give me another chance...she said she wants to not talk for a week to see how she feels...i hope i get good news come Monday! Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I know, well she did not give me another chance...she said she wants to not talk for a week to see how she feels...i hope i get good news come Monday! Oh sorry I didn't realise that was the situation. Hold strong and don't contact her, let her call you first. I suspect she will even need more time than week, give it to her, don't argue or get defensive. Roll with it, leave a good impression on her. In the meantime keep working on improving yourself. Link to comment
Wanted Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Oh sorry I didn't realise that was the situation. Hold strong and don't contact her, let her call you first. I suspect she will even need more time than week, give it to her, don't argue or get defensive. Roll with it, leave a good impression on her. In the meantime keep working on improving yourself. I know, that is exactly my plan. I KNOW she is going to need more than a week, she is the one that said a week...lol Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 When she does contact you, keep it light and friendly. Don't mention the relationship at all. If she talks about it then just agree with her and lose the urge to beg/plead/defend/argue logic/or try to convince her that u have changed... Be sympathetic to her side of the situation. Link to comment
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