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It does get better, sooner than you expect (at least in my case)!


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Hello ENAers,

I don't know if any of you remembers me...I was dumped on 8th December by my 2.5 years girlfriend and I came here to look for some advice/support.

It's been four months now and I can say that I am finally FINE again and I wanted to share the happy ending of my story with the people who were there for me during my darkest days.

 

I have met another girl - we're taking things very slowly and I have been honest from the beginning even if she already knew that I was coming from a painful breakup - and I finally stopped thinking about my ex. Well, the thought of her still pops in my head once in a while, but it's a whole different story now...I don't want her back nor do I miss her anymore, I just kind of wonder what she's up to!

 

I've finally built the social life I always wanted...I have tons of friends - almost TOO MANY! - and I go out every night...and it's not just drinking, I've met people who I can talk about music and movies...share my feelings...get support from if I need...you know, real friends.

 

You know, I can't believe that four months ago I was the wreck I was...

 

So, the bottom line is: have faith in the future! Things will get better.

 

Oh, and a couple suggestions to all the new broken-hearted or old ENAers who are still feeling broken...cutting off all contact with the ex is the most important thing. REALLY. The rest - going out with friends, getting self back again and so on - will come in a much easier way once you aren't able to reach or be reached by your ex.

 

See you guys, and thanks again!

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This thread makes me smile! I believe that things does get better after a while. You just have to keep your head high and realize that there are far, far better people out there for you and would love to be with you!

 

Hang in there, everyone!

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Hey SighSob,

 

Great to hear you’re doing well.

 

I wanted to echo the sentiment- was dumped early January from a 9 year relationship and went through the hardest time of my life. Reading these forums made me feel not so alone. The wild emotional swings, drinking too much, not eating, almost non functional. I never thought I'd be ok until I had my ex back, but I was wrong. I also feel stronger for having went through that time in my life.

 

Since then, I’ve started seeing another guy who is much better for me than my ex, have been reaching out to friends and family, building a decent social life, and am feeling good about myself again! (It helped I found out the ex had been cheating on me- made me never want him back again!) Also did some counseling, exercised, lost weight- just generally trying to take good care of myself The new guy and I are taking it slow and I’m trying to be super honest with him.

 

But it’s nice to know there are good people out there- your ex is not the last person you will ever love or who will ever love you!

 

Thanks ENA!

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congrats sighsob: this line is key I think:

''I've finally built the social life I always wanted...I have tons of friends - almost TOO MANY! - and I go out every night...and it's not just drinking, I've met people who I can talk about music and movies...share my feelings...get support from if I need...you know, real friends.''.....

 

To me social support is so important both for support and diversification (so you don't overinvest in one person (ie our exes) ...many of us need more of this, I think...not just company but GOOD QUALITY people as company.

 

please share: what avenues did you find to meet new people/make new friends and also your approaches?

 

I've spent alot of time alone healing (which is fine, too, as you need ''quiet'' time to reflect and listen to your heart/spirit) but you also need TLC and social interaction/stimulation, too IMO.

 

Myself I'm thinking of joining a men's baseball team, toastmasters and some meetup groups...the hard part to me is ''sucking it up'' and realizing that like any relationship it takes time, you go slow, be positive and take an interest in THEM.

 

Your thoughts OP?

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