Confused - still single

[4answers]

History: With a girl, was not happy, difficult patch, rather than work it out I took easy road because I thought I would easily find another to replace her.

 

Ended relationship, she pushed to stay friends, never asked why. Only if we were doing the right thing.

 

I guess we both looked for another ! (at the time I did not think i would bother me, her being with another).

 

1 year later, she meets someone and tells me she just likes him, not with him. I ask her back out and she says no. devistated.

 

I am still single years later, she is married with kids.

 

I dont understand why I am still single and why I gave her up.

 

The only thing that seems feasible is that I am not as good looking as I once thought I was and that at the hard time with her I thought I could easily replace her. (she was of low value). I was wrong and couldnt replace her and now miss what we had and could of had! (she is now of high value).

 

 

Now:

 

The girl does not talk to me now and our time has no value !.

 

I am still single and deperatly lonely, filled with regret, remorse, anger and hate.

I cannot understand if she was single why she did not get back together.

 

I cannot understand how I have had no luck with women. I go for women who I find attractive but they dont find me attractive but unattractive women do find me attractive and initiate.

 

Very confucsed and mixed up..... Why cant I just find an attractive woman, nice nature who finds me attractive and wants a relationship. With a possible future.

 

Why did my ex who pushed for this with me, chose it with someone else ! .... Why does this hurt so much..

 

So many questions running through my mind.

[dr_styles]

Maybe you should just try dropping your standards for a start - like if it's just you find those physically unattractive at least give them a go (I don't know how much chance you are giving them at all)

[pinkrobot]

First of all, she probably didn't get back together with you because you thought it would be so easy to replace her. Even if you didn't say this to her, your nonverbal probably conveyed to her that she wasn't as important to you as she would have liked to have been.

 

And I agree, lower your standards a little bit. Your biggest concern seems to be finding an attractive woman...if you're looking for a real relationship, that shouldn't be the priority. That doesn't mean you have to pursue "unattractive" women, it just means you should focus a little more on personality and lifestyle if you're going to find what you want, ultimately.