My Story of break up

[Mattysan]

This is my first post on the forum and thought I would tell you my story.

 

My wife and I were looking to move to Oz from england to start a great new life. We planned for three years to come out here, going through a third party migration bureau for visas and having scouting trips to Sydney. We both wanted the Aussie lifestyle and the good weather. Having to deal with all sorts of issues whilst getting a skilled visa, I was unfortunately made redundant from my job after I got back from my wedding which meant I started looking for jobs here. Fortunately I found a job in Queensland which included a four year visa which was perfect!! I didnt know much about the town in queensland but looking through this website and on the net it looked like the place where we could have the lifestyle we dreamed off. We packed up moved over our posessions and I came over four weeks before my wife, while she finished work. This gave me the time to find out the place, get a house and make everything possible to make it easy for her to settle in. During my time apart I missed my wife terribly but was so excited to see her and we talked on the phone every day. When she arrived she was a different person and wouldnt communicate to me. The following week she said she didnt love me and after getting a meeting with a councillor she said she wanted to separate after six months of marriage and 4 1/2 years of living together. She then left me ten days after arrival and moved back to England and straight in with another man who she told me she was madly in love with. A man that she used to complain about his behaviour in the work place such as teasing her. At least once a week before I left she would complain, sometimes in tears about the bullying. My life and my heart had been shattered. It was like she had been brainwashed ,considering our lives together was bliss when I left. She didnt care about my feelings and told me that I should have to just deal with it. Im currently seeing a pyschologist and taking anti depressants but I still get moments when I think what the hell happened? Five weeks on and her life seems to be going great already got a job whilst I just feel empty on the other side of the world from my friends and family. Im gutted!!!

 

 

if anybody has tips or a previous similar experience I would love to hear to get better understanding.

[pumpkinmoon]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I can't imagine what it must feel like. I wouldn't bank on her life going great. When the novelty of her new life with him wears off she will probably realise just what she has done.

 

You could look upon this as a new start for you. If you are planning on staying there for now make the best of it. Get out there and make some new friends and meet people. Who knows, you could meet the girl of your dreams there.

 

It doesn't have to be permanent either, you can always come back.

[Just Me85]

Im very sorry this has happened to you it sounds just awful!

 

You are obviously extremely hurt and feel betrayed by the one person you felt you could trust. You gave her everything and even moved to a new continent to start a new life together so you obviously are insanely in love.

 

How did the job hunting go over in oz? My suggestion would be if things were going okay, theres no reason you cant use this as an opportunity to start a new life for YOURSELF. You say you think Queensland is a lovely place and you always wanted to go for the weather and atmosphere.

 

Things are going to be extremely difficult for you right now I cant deny that, but perhaps one day in the future you will see this as a blessing in disguise, when your sunning yourself on the beach with a lovely new lady and a beer, while shes back in England in the rain/snow/cold/wind with her bully of a boyfriend.

 

I think you had a lucky escape my friend.

 

Also on the plus side, if you stay in Australia, you know that you wont be bumping into her and feeling the pain all over again. It will take time, but you have the dignity and upper hand and I believe this is a sign that you are destined for something better.

 

My brother's fiance left her for his best friend, so I have experienced how much this can hurt the abandoned party, but 2 years later and he is the happiest i have EVER seen him. If i ask if he still thinks about her he just laughs about it and thanks his lucky stars they didnt stay together.

 

True colours.

 

I wish you the best

[tina-rocks]

I'm so sorry Mattysan,

 

I know this is so hard for you and you are still in shock I suspect from the sudden collapse. It's hard to say why the ones we love chose to hurt us this way.

 

My ex husband left me for another women and I understand how you are feeling. You will have days where things seem a little better then, the following day your in pieces again.

 

Try not to over think things and allow yourself time to adjust. I believe this is a grieving process and it's best to allow the emotions to come out then bottle them up.

 

I am here if you ever want to talk or rant. You really are not alone.

 

(((Hugs))) sent your way along with as much strength as I can summon for you.

 

Please try to stay strong and you will survive this I know you will.

 

Tina x

[Mattysan]

Hey guys and girls thanks for your replies. Thats exactly what I need. Unfortunatley I do have times when I want to rant about it but that might be because I just cant understand how somebodies mind sent can change so quickly. I know Im in a better place than my wife but at the same time I fell like she needs some kind of guidance to wake up but I know I cant provide it. I talk to her family quite regularly and my mother in law has been a tower of strength for me. She also heartbroken by her daughters behaviour and even now she is refusing to go home to be with her family. If she did go home her parents would not be in the awful state they are in and it would give time to my wife to reflect and understand her actions. Unfortunatley she is being a total coward and blocking out all those that love her. If she did come back (she wont) in the future that is not going to stop me going out having fun with new friends and maybe even having a relationship. I cannot wait for her to regain sense and reason.

 

Ps I appreciate the hugs Tina-rocks