How many dates before you make up your mind?

[laboheme]

Problem solved!

[Qut81]

I usually know within the 1st 20 mins. If your attracted, you will know. As for getting your friends approval, well sometimes that could be bad. What if you like him and your friends dont? What then?

[anggrace]

What is it that you are looking for your friends to say that you won't already know yourself? That he's attractive and seems nice? I understand why you'd appreciate your friends opinion, but how can they be a better judge than you unless they go on a few dates with him themselves?

[alli]

Do you find him attractive? Any flirtiness, eye-googling, butterflies before you get together? Those are obviously typical signs that something is there.

 

Try talking to him about personal stuff. Not really interoggating or anything, but just sitting around on the couch. Find out what he is passionate about.. how he likes to spend his time. Try looking into each others eyes longer.

 

If you still feel no connection after that, then you know that you probably won't develop any.

[MyNinja]

I think you should play it by ear for some more time to see if anything progesses. How would you feel about him if you were friendless? What is YOUR mind telling you?

 

I think the number of dates depends on the guy and what you're feeling. I went out on a date with this guy one time and after that, I never wanted to see him again! He was the most horrible, disgusting person. Just last year I dated this sweet man for about three weeks before we decided that we wanted to pursue each other...and I'm still with him to this day.

 

I think you should give him some more time to see if anything develops. If you feel it's just friendship, then keep it just that. Good luck!

[hosswhispra]

I usually know by the first date. They say give it at least until the second date. After that, adios.

 

Great person, no attraction = friend.

[jul-els]

You should feel the rapport irregardless of what your friends think. They're not the ones who would be in the relationship. If there's any kind of spark or chemistry I think you would have felt it by now. Only you can tell yourself that for sure though.

[Robertino]

"I think part of it is that I'm desperate for my friends' approval (if they don't like the guy, I'm not letting him stick around), but my friends have never met him. Obviously, they can't meet him until we have established a certain rapport, but I feel like I can't establish that rapport until he has met my friends. It's a Catch-22."

 

I think you have plenty of answers regarding the date part of your question. But I wanna warn you-try not to let friends get too involved. It's about you and your date, not them and you and your date. I've asked friends about their opinions on a girl I was dating before...and many of the answers were so off course from what I actually experienced with the date. Some answers about the date just didn't add up or even make sense. So be careful with wanting approval of friends.

[ghost69]

i can tell within the first date if not when i first meet a person if it will be good in the future or not.

[Scorpion Fury]

If I don't feel an attraction on the first date, it's a wrap

[drewciouS281]

ill give you an example of this. I dated afew people last year, none of which i really saw anything long term at first but was just dating going with the flow. each one of these girls i would ask my friends approval. now my current girlfriend which we clicked right away and strongly felt a long term commitment with her was different. My friends confronted me a month or so ago telling me that this girl is perfect for me and one way they can tell is because i didnt ask approval of any of my friends. Reason for this is because i knew this girl was for me and didnt feel the need to ask anyones approval but my own. Hope that helps.

[hosswhispra]

ill give you an example of this. I dated afew people last year, none of which i really saw anything long term at first but was just dating going with the flow. each one of these girls i would ask my friends approval. now my current girlfriend which we clicked right away and strongly felt a long term commitment with her was different..

 

I'm not surprised.

 

In general, I think people know if there is attraction within 1-2 dates. I've dated a couple guys that I was not attracted to till date #5. I kept on thinking maybe next time I will feel the spark of attraction. The spark never came. One of the guys really fell for me. I had to let him go-I didn't feel the same way he did and felt it was wrong to keep him out of the dating pool and from finding someone who was hot for him. The second guy poofed on me after date 5. I was happy because I wasn't feeling it. He was a nice guy and I was dreading the idea of telling him I didn't feel it clicking. He poofed on me-so he most likely wasn't feeling it either.

[calidreamin0]

question- how did you guys sleep with each other? Were you cuddly? Separate?? Did you feel anything as you were sleeping next to him.

 

I know when I sleep with someone the first time (ACTUAL sleeping), you have this warm comfort giddy feeling. But that is me!

 

Also, I usually know in the first date if I dig this guy or not!

[laboheme]

question- how did you guys sleep with each other? Were you cuddly? Separate?? Did you feel anything as you were sleeping next to him.

 

When we fell asleep, we were lying quite close, facing each other, and holding hands. It was nice, I won't deny that...but it's not like I'm replaying that moment in my head every time I go to sleep alone.

 

I guess I'm expecting all kinds of butterflies and giddiness, but maybe that's something that only exists in chick flicks and is an unrealistic expectation.

 

The reason I want my friends' approval so badly is that two people cannot exist in isolation and they will inevitably venture out into society together...and since my friends are the most important part of society to me, I want them to think that we'd make a good couple. I don't want to allow myself to form an emotional connection with someone only to discover down the road that my friends aren't accepting of him.