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Inferior?Comparison?


justhere

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Eleanro Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

 

I understand that statement and what it means but I don't know to apply it to my life.

 

I have never been good at one specific thing. I catch onto things quickly but I have never had any talents or things I am good at.

 

I let myself be negative and think that everyone is better than I am. Which frankly is true, but I don't want it to be.

 

Once upon a time I was fearless; I had confidence. I was a force to be reckoned with, but somewhere along the line I broke. I started to compare myself to others and saw how I was always less than them. I have no passion. Nothing that interests me. Nothing to drive me forward I guess.

 

I want to be confident again. I want to exist as more than just a shell of a person.

 

Some people have to suck at life and I guess I am the lucky one.

 

I am not trying to have a pity party, I just wanna know what to do about this?

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Try flipping it around to start with.... if you feel less than they are, list what they can do that you can't and how you can get those things for yourself.

 

Example: Joe is better at batting than I am.

 

1. I can go to batting cages and practice hitting

2. I can read books on proper form or hire a coach to help

3. I can get a workout together that builds my strength

4. I can observe batters with good form so I can envison the right way to do it

 

You can apply this to a lot of things in life if it's skills based.

 

Next option: identify if you are in a rut. How much variety do you have in your life? Are there ever opportunities coming your way? Do you do the same thing day in day out? Snapping out of that rut and creating or recognizing opportunities to do something different, anything different, help change that mindset.

 

Third option: Find one single thing that you want to do. Just one. It can be a class, a musical instrument, riding a motorcycle, read War and Peace.... it MUST be something that you have not let yourself find the time to do. You've been holding back on a desire because you feel inadequate or can't spend the money or any excuse. But you do actually want to do it. Now go do it.

 

Just thoughts....

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Thank you very much for your thoughts.

 

I am in a rut. I know that for sure. I do the same things day in and day out, but I can't change anything because it all revolves around money and I have no extra.

 

As for finding one thing that I want to do but haven't. I don't think I have one of those. I gave up on those a long time ago, so I don't even bother anymore.

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I don't know if I agree with Eleanor Roosevelt ... People can do plenty of things to you to subtly influence you to think you're not as good as everyone else. Sometimes, they outright tell you you're not good enough!

 

But that's off topic, I guess.

 

Justhere, is there anything at all that makes you happy? I'm not talking about things like drinking or video games. Is there a kind of music you really like, or a hobby that makes you smile? See the thing is, life's not necessarily about being phenomenally talented in one area. It's about enjoying doing something, and then spending time doing it.

 

I may be a mediocre tennis player, but I like swatting at the ball, running around the court. So I do it. It doesn't matter that there are tons of people better than me. Who cares? the point of my playing isn't to be better or worse than anyone. It's for me to be doing something that I like, that I want to experience.

 

I believe we start feeling like a shell when we don't do anything that we enjoy. Maybe it's because we are working too hard, or because we got depressed and can't find out way out, or something really traumatic happened awhile back.

 

The way out is to start doing some of those things that nurture us as people, that feed the mind or the soul. Good luck.

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No there really isn't anything that makes me happy when I do it. I used to be really excited about martial arts, and I have been invloved in Jeet Kune DO and Filipino Martial arts for over three years.

 

Now I find no joy in martial arts. I still do it. I really don't know why, but it is the only thing that is keeping my head on straight. I think that is because of the support my instructor gives me as a teacher and a friend.

 

But doing stuff because I enjoy it. Not really. I would like to be passionate about something.

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You are passionate about something...you just have some stuff in the way right now and you have to remove the filters...pull the curtains back...let the light in...there are many things you can do with no money...hiking...bookstores...soon summer concerts in the parks...etc. What about your family? Any neices or nephews? Or you could become a Big Brother. The vision and passion of a child is very contagious and when you speak to them...really speak to children...there is so much to be learned...we are all passionate about something...you have to give yourself permision to find it and let it in...you deserve happiness like any other...we all have the same 24 hours and I do not know not one person who gets 25 or 26....etc. There is a payoff...you are getting a payoff and you have to figure out what that is for you. It is a choice.

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This is the first step...expressing you WANT more...your thoughts are gearing up in the right direction...now get the actions to follow...it takes effort...sometimes a whole lot of effort and constantly renewing this effort. As for Eleanor...she is right to a certain extent with the "teach people how to treat you" because yes we give consent when we don't put our foot down...etc. etc. What she is not saying as well though is many times we think is all about the other...they, they, they...and us doing the right thing for ourselves...knowing our boundaries and what is acceptable for each of us...but here is the kicker and boy does it boot you in the a##....we also, and this is so damaging, far more damaging than the "others" we also consent personally to treating ourselves badly...we treat ourselves with inferiority and I guarantee this is more damaging because the "love" comes from within and expands outward...you have alot of passion...the way you speak is full of passion...just change the channel...go high definition...sound simple...sorry it's not...but only you can....

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