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Today is a that day again. A déjà vu of me going NC. I’m sick of this. I’m so weak. I tell myself I’m strong but in a moments impulse I contact. I’m fine with the breakup, its my fault in a lot of ways. I take the blame for most of it, but now its different. I want to move on. I need to hold the rush and make it through. Who doesn’t wish to go back and do it differently. But that’s a waste of time.

 

 

Im putting this down here to remind myself of what’s there for me when I contact her. I have to make this time. I hope I do.

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I'm not really depressed or anything similar, I least I don't think I am. It's just that whenever she contacts me (she always makes the first, second or third one before I do) I take no more than 2 weeks to answer, just to hear how she misses me or wishes she could be with me. She then says that everything will be like it was before and that shes scared and that nothing can happen right now. (maybe in the future implied)

 

 

Whatever...

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