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Finally asked the dreaded question!


enchanted771

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I have been seeing this guy and i really like him. just wasnt sure where we were headed and i dont want a fwb thing. so we have decided to see where our relationship goes which i am totally satisfied with. i just wanted to also wanted to make sure its not a committment phobic guy.

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Over 2 months

 

That is too short time to ask for any commitment besides being faithful to you. You need much more time to ask for anything else like where is it going. Just get to know him better now.

 

I usually recommend anyone, including myself, not to bring out the them of living together or getting married before seeing each other for at least 2 years... Ok if one is so sure, 1 year but that is the barest minimium.

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That is too short time to ask for any commitment besides being faithful to you. You need much more time to ask for anything else like where is it going. Just get to know him better now.

 

I usually recommend anyone, including myself, not to bring out the them of living together or getting married before seeing each other for at least 2 years... Ok if one is so sure, 1 year but that is the barest minimium.

 

I agree with this - and being exclusive is probably the only commitment you were looking for at this stage anyway, right?

 

lol I remember telling a guy I had been dating for one month that I had a very strong belief/wish that I only wanted to sleep with one man in my life.. the one I felt I'd spend the rest of my life with.

 

He was very thoughtful for a while and he turned to me and said "I'm not sure if I can tell you right now that we'll be spending our whole lives together".

 

And I burst out laughing (didn't mean to, just happened) and said "no no, I wasn't asking you to.. I was just telling you where I stood on sex". :splat:

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Yes, you are right. That is the stage of just being girlfriend/boyfriend. It is when you say you see no one else & you mean it.

 

Be very careful of saying anything that meant more commitment. Guys have a radar for such things & will stay away from a girl if he sense that she is about to tie him down. He needs to know it by himself that he is doing it because he wants to do it. Meanwhile, you go about building your own life too. Remember, he fell in love with you in the beginning because you have a life.

 

Also, it was good that you clarified that it was only about your stand in sex & there is nothing more to it

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Yes, you are right. That is the stage of just being girlfriend/boyfriend. It is when you say you see no one else & you mean it.

 

Be very careful of saying anything that meant more commitment. Guys have a radar for such things & will stay away from a girl if he sense that she is about to tie him down. He needs to know it by himself that he is doing it because he wants to do it. Meanwhile, you go about building your own life too. Remember, he fell in love with you in the beginning because you have a life.

 

Also, it was good that you clarified that it was only about your stand in sex & there is nothing more to it

 

lol do you mean me? That story was just about a guy from way back in my past. I am now married to a wonderful (different) man who thought I was "the one" from very early on and was not afraid of commitment.

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Haha yes well I was trying to say it in a non-pressured way. Just cant wait until we get to spend more time together (which will be soon) I know I don’t get to spend every weekend with him yet, but maybe down the road if everything works out like I am hoping it will. But so far, its going pretty well.

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