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Is it worth it?


damita98

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I am here because I don't know where else to be. I don't want to burden anyone with my thoughts but I can't write them down fast enough. In my short 32 years, I have lost my father to a tragic accident, had my best friend/adopted little sister murdered, had a friend commit suicide and many more deaths and tragedies. I was anorexic and lucky for me it was caught early, doesn't seem so lucky to me now I am fat and ugly and unwanted. If you have seen the movie "Twilight" you will understand a little what I am thinking. There is this amazing relationship between Edward and Bella and that is what I need. I feel so drawn to the characters it's not even funny, I feel a lot like Bella, odd and ordinary. I am nothing spectacular and have been verbally abused my whole life. I am having a hard time just getting my butt out of bed. To have human affection would greatly help me, just being touched gently or kissed or hugged. But with society the way it is, I don't even see that possible. Why do things we humans want so bad only ever happen in movies? I haven't thought about ending my life for a few months, I was doing really good, maybe it's because I have been on and off my medication, wish I could afford it all the time. It really helps but even taking it, I am still feeling this way. I want to not kill myself, just render myself unconscious for a few days and make the world see that I am here and see if I really do have any friends. That sounds dumb too. I have a huge crush on this guy (yeah it still happens to us old farts) and he is one of the few people I can talk to when I see him. He's super kind and I find my heart twitter when I see him, that is an amazing feeling but I guess that is all it will be. I used to have penpals to write snail mail letters to and that was really good for me but nobody wants to write letters anymore, wish they did. Anyways, I could ramble on and on but it's all going to say the same.

 

Monique](*,)

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Hi

 

sorry you feel this way an idea for you

 

 

You can volunteer with dogs or seniors they are always willing and able to share love in a healty way

 

 

There you can make friends also , sometimes one can feel better when helping others .

 

 

 

Exercise , dance share your time with people in need or animals that would be a great way to make your world better . Get together with people that care for others and youll see they are a bunch of better people or the kind of people you right now need .

 

 

As per medication they are pharma companies that will give you or assist you in getting your medication get on that if not use Saint John Saint Worth its an all natural mood enhancer cost about 7.00 you can find it at walgreens or any place like that it will help you feel much better

 

Take care of you

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Your expectations for a relationship are a bit on the unreasonable side. Having unreasonable expectations while only lead to disappointment in your life.

And like debaser said, the relationship between Edward and Bella is an unhealthy one.

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