asking a girl out and avoiding awkward silences

[smooki]

hey, this is a continuation from my other thread, for anyone who's seen it, but me and this girl have the same course and exams are coming soon and i was thinking of asking to study with her. if we were studying together we'd obviously talk, but how do i avoid the inevitable awkward silence, or if it does come around, wat could i say that could get rid of it asap? also, would this study session be a good time to ask her out for a coffee or something? and how could i bring it up without simply throwing it out there? also, i am shy and dont always know the right things to say, but im not afraid to talk to girls.

[hei]

If you're studying together and feel the need to break the silence, why not just ask her a study-related question?

 

"How do you do this?"

"I don't get this.."

If it's math or anything else with definite answers, "did you get ***** on 3b?"

 

You can take a pee-break, and come up with something to say when you get back, or ask if she wants some fresh air, and go outside for 5..

 

This all depends on what you're trying to accomplish by breaking the silence. If it's her getting a huge turn-on, this won't do. If it's just to break the silence, then this'll do just fine. The chatter doesn't have to keep on going 100% of the time, afterall, you're there to study, breaks are fine.

 

Keep in mind, this is all theories from my side.

 

As you want something more than just a study-buddy, wait for more advice. Asking her if she wants to study together might very well be seen as, well, exactly that, and nothing more.

[smooki]

although i would be there to learn and study a little, the main reason i want to is to spend time together in person, and not just online, im hoping it sparks something so that we will be able to hang out for reasons other than studying, and soon to asking her out

[FloatingAnchor]

Personally, I would not feel comfortable sitting in silence with someone I didn't know well, especially if I was interested or knew they were interested in me. I suggest starting out with a coffee date.

[smooki]

we've gotten to know each other a little better now, its not like we wouldnt recognize eachother if we saw eachother, i just want to try and turn this situation into a chance to get to know her even more

[FloatingAnchor]

If you study at a coffee shop, that could be a good opportunity to people-watch. Lots of stimulating topics there.

[steve33]

I wouldn't be too worried about this issue on a study date. However, on a dinner date, it's another story.

[shyperson]

here's my take on this situation, from my experience:

 

in regards to awkward silence, well there's gonna be silence at some point, and it shouldn't be awkward. in fact, the silence part is when you can tell if a person is "somewhat" interested in you. what i mean by this is that you'll get the chance to see her body language. if her body is positioned in such a way that includes you, that's a good sign. if her body is totally closed off and staring intently at her books/notes, that's a neutral sign. if she looks totally bored and stares at the clock, that could be a bad sign.

 

as for asking her out for coffee, i dunno. if you guys end up studying for a long time, you can always get up and say you're going for a coffee/snack break for a couple of minutes, and ask her if she wants to come. at my university, we have a vending machine dining area in the library, so the proposition doesn't sound too "out there". if she agrees, feel free to talk about non-school stuff (cause it is a break from studying, afterall with any luck, that 5 minute coffee break can become a 30 minute coffee date.

[SoMuchLove]

The thing you have to realize is silence isn't meant to be awkward. In fact, people who are insecure in their speaking skills try to fill all the space with jabber.

 

So don't be nervous about silences. Relax and let it come.

[JusticeLaw9]

hey, this is a continuation from my other thread, for anyone who's seen it, but me and this girl have the same course and exams are coming soon and i was thinking of asking to study with her. if we were studying together we'd obviously talk, but how do i avoid the inevitable awkward silence, or if it does come around, wat could i say that could get rid of it asap? also, would this study session be a good time to ask her out for a coffee or something? and how could i bring it up without simply throwing it out there? also, i am shy and dont always know the right things to say, but im not afraid to talk to girls.

 

Actually if she agrees and the two of you get to study together, I just can't see awkward silence in the forecast. Just stay on subject and you can't lose.

[smooki]

ok, so the studying didnt happen for unrelated reasons. but we have talked for a little bit on msn, just small talk and general conversation, wat have u. but i just cant muster up the confidence to ask her out to coffee or something small. i also just dont no how to say it or how to steer the conversation to kind of set it up to ask. any suggestions

[mfan]

Great practice would be to ask a girl out, then when you get there don't say anything. Ever. See how long you can hold out before you burst. You won't get any more dates with this girl, but you will learn to swim by throwing yourself in the deep end.

 

P.S. I wouldn't try this.

[johntrin]

Any update on the situation? I'm in a similar situation myself (actually the exact same situation).

[txblues]

me too... not to sure if should ask a girl to study or out for lunch. haven't talked to her yet..

[stewy_05]

Well I am a very shy person. But if I were you I would ask her if she wanted to go for some coffee some where then study after. Then if the studying seems to be going good. Set up some more study dates. Have a few study dates then ask her if she would like to go out to play mini-golf or something fun and then dinner some where afterwards to have a little enjoyment from studying. You really dont want to rush things. Seems like lot ppl want to rush to get in a relationship these days. Dont get me wrong it is nice to be in one. But seems rushing just makes it end so much sooner imo. Just ask her on msn if she would like to go for coffee or anything she would like better. ( If shes not a big coffee person ) always more comfortable to ask online then person so you dont get that awkward feeling for asking and they can see it. Good Luck and hope everythings goes well and you get to get your date with her!!!

 

I have only been in one relationship and it was in high school. But I like to study other ppl in relationships and seems I have learned so much by watching other ppl I know in relationships. I just want to be ready and comfortable when I find the right lady for me!