confused

[jaccan]

just need some help deciding if i am in a losing situation....my boyfriend and i met when we both were coming out of relationships. we clicked well and enjoyed being together all of the time. it was good...great even, until we started to deal with major issues with his ex. she left him for another man etc. and as soon as she knew about me she wanted him back. we have constantly dealt with her claiming he loves her and he is not in love with me or that he really does not want to be with me. she claims she and him (my bf) talk, and that he tells their daughter that i am good for him right now. the problem too is i am living in their joint home that they had together and it has been four mths. since then she constantly calls and leaves harassing msgs, text msgs, has shown up at the home when my 8 yr old was home and caused a physical scene with my boyfriend. she has made complaints regarding my sons safety to the child protection services in our area (my ex and i split due to domestic violence and she knows this, so child protection services are already involved due to his father, another hurtful attack)....it goes on and on. they had a daughter pass away and he says that she is in pain and he feels like he is attacking her if he gets upset with her when she calls and harasses etc. he does not want to deal with it....he thinks if we or he just takes the calls she will calm down and eventually come around. so if i answer the phone by an accident even and it is her and she goes off he says it is my fault for taking the call???? they do have another teenage daughter and her and i get along fine so i think. although when she is with her mom they call and leave horrible msgs on the phone, email etc. i was sympathetic up until a couple of weeks ago, and now i feel like i am losing it. i feel like i am living in sooooo much drama and issues and worried that my 8 yr old will be affected by it. he has gone through alot with his own father and our relationship. i tried talking to my current boyfriend about my concerns and he now is frustrated with me saying that he cannot handle me being upset about this. he says it is just too much for him. i have to either suck it up and get past this or we will never work. i do not freak out or go crazy .... i am just simply tired of it. i do not want to become a crazy, out of control person. i have lived in a triangle relationship for ten years before and i am becoming worried that i am beginning the same pattern....or is it just fear?

[skirt]

Your fears are justified enough, you seem to be putting yourself through yet another bad relationship. It's possible that for a time, things between you two were good, but he's not taking any steps to create a safe environment for you and your son. It's sad to say but her making calls to child protective services about the treatment of your son IS involving him and he will be affected by it, to say the least. You also have to expect that your son is going to notice how stressed you are, which is bound to affect him negatively also. You need to move out and stop all contact with your boyfriend if you can, before things get worse.

[jaccan]

thanx for your response.....just needed to hear the same thing i was thinking from someone else....

[Circe]

It doesn't sound like the timing is right for this relationship. Your bf isn't completely out of his past one yet. He's still tangled up in a number of emotional ways. So yes.. it's another triangle. I would distance myself from it as much as possible without burning bridges. See where both of you are a year from now..

[HeartGoesOn]

^^^

 

Totally agree.