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I hurt her, now she's angry.. Help?


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I don't like reading long stories myself so I'll try and make it simple.. Here's a snapshot of what's going on:

 

Background:

-we met about a year ago

-started seeing each other a month ago

-family/friends/time had issues with us being together so we decided to call it off, at least for the summer

-i will see her again in september when university re-opens

-last week she said she wanted to try and remain friends over the summer, and since we wouldn't actually physically see each other, it seemed plausible

-everything was good, up until yesterday

 

So, yesterday:

-I deleted something off my facebook profile, something that she had written, and apparently meant more to her than I thought

 

This is what it was. 2 weeks ago, she wrote on my profiles's ~write about urself~ box thing "is loved".. [we both know each others p/w]. I went on her account and wrote on hers "is loved more than anyone else in this world".. so she came back on mine and added another line similar to what I had written on hers. When we talked about it, we both said we wouldn't take it off, if the other didn't.

 

The only reason I DID take it off [only from my profile btw] was tht it might help to try and not think about her. Not a good idea, as I'm finding out the hard way. =/

 

She said she's not talking to me anymore for taking something that meant so much to her off my page. I don't really think its as big a deal as she's making it out to be, but I can sortof understand why..

 

But my question is, what do I do now? I was thinking of being up front about it and telling her it was a mistake. We could put it back and move on.. But I know that's not going to be enough for her.

 

The 2 things that hurt her are 1) I took it off, and 2) it was AFTER we'd made a deal that we wouldn't take it off. But I honestly had totally forgotten about the deal when i took it off.

 

So yea. I'm open to suggestions to anything I can do or say to stop her staying mad at me.

 

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for replying.

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It's petty. I can understand that there is insecurity and tension because of the complex situation, and since the internet or the phone is your best way to communicate, it would hold more significance to you guys than more conventional friendships. But in the end it's just a computer screen.

 

All you can do is apologize. You maybe made a mistake, but it's not the end of the world!!

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It's petty. I can understand that there is insecurity and tension because of the complex situation, and since the internet or the phone is your best way to communicate, it would hold more significance to you guys than more conventional friendships. But in the end it's just a computer screen.

 

All you can do is apologize. You maybe made a mistake, but it's not the end of the world!!

 

Agreed, apologize. It may not be enough for her, but it's all you can offer her right now.

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Why do people make facebook such a huge part of their lives? It doesn't mean anything real. Just because some text is or is not written on a social networking site it does not validate the way you feel about someone.

 

Apologise but try and get her to see sense too, it's just a facebook page, she knows how you really feel about her.

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Yeah... this is some petty stuff man. She's not worth it if she's going to get all bent out of shape over something this small. There is so much more to life than whatever crap is on your Facebook page.

 

She's probably just using this as an excuse to be mad at you so that it's easier for her to move on. Either that or she is really just a very shallow and petty person.

 

Either way it shows a complete lack of character on her part. She might not even know herself well enough to know why she's really doing this. It just reeks of either confusion or manipulation and you don't need either of those.

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Thanks for the quick replies.

 

I talked to her and it turns out what really got her upset was I broke our deal, which was to not take it off. I understand it would've been petty for her to be mad about just removing something, but apparently, it not just that. So now, I've apologized and am waiting for her reply.

Hope she gets over it. =/

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Doesn't matter if it's petty or not, it means something to her.

 

Either you care about whether or not it means something to her, or you don't. Would you rather make her feel good, or be right in an objective sense about the worth of the small things?

 

I'd send her something equally as cute, something new, on the facebook.

 

If it's important to her why on earth try to argue her out of that? If it is a simple meaningless thing to you, why not just go ahead and put something new up, and make her smile?

 

Doing nice things for other people doesn't mean only doing things that you agree are important, just means doing things they would like.

 

 

 

(note, my b/f hasn't yet approved the switch to our facebooks from "complicated" to "relationship". Now this wouldn't seem like a big deal to him, since he doesn't like facebook...doesn't see that as important or meaningful...but to me it's telling me he is keeping his options open. If he doesn't change it, knowing that it means something TO ME, then he is putting a principle that he doesn't even really care that much about above my happiness...and that's not loving.)

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If she blows up over something that minimal (important to her or not it isn't a serious life/death/integrity kind of thing) she could just be very moody or nit picky which could be a problem for him down the line.

 

You shouldn't torture people over small things. Facebook messages are just for fun and don't actually matter in life when it all boils down. Sometimes you have to pick your battles or you'll go crazy.

 

If I love my boyfriend but for some stupid reason left "single" status on my facebook it doesn't mean I don't love him....

 

It isn't even tangible.

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I agree this is a small thing to get worked up over, but the point isn't that he deleted it, the point is that he deleted after having explicitly promised her he wouldn't. OP, I would be more careful about making promises in the future. For now, explain to her that it was an absentminded thing to do and it doesn't negate the importance of the message or your feelings for her.

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If you don't really ever give her another reason to believe you don't stick to your word or you're not reliable, this should blow over.

 

That's why I said this ^

I agree. She's looking out for you to be reliable and trustworthy. As long as you don't keep flaking on her things should be fine.

 

 

But you're allowed to make mistakes.

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Thanks for the honest opinions and words of wisdom. Everythings back to normal now, I apologized for forgetting, she forgave and its all good!

And yes, I know I shouldn't make promises I can't keep or not forget about them later on, lol, I'm known to forget easily though. =/ However, I do keep my word.. for example, I promised her a trip to Venice and I'm planning that for next summer. xD

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