Aeryn Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I've had 9 days of NC with my ex as of now. The last time I saw him was on Tuesday (6 days ago), but I didn't really "see" him because I didn't even look his way when I entered the class. Things have been pretty good--Sunday was a bit rough for me, but I got through it. However, I have a lab with him today (we are lab partners), and I cannot miss it. So...I'm stuck working with him for 2-2.5 hours today. How do I get through this day? I KNOW he is gonna try making small-talk with me (how have you been, how was your weekend, etc)...but I just don't want that. It will only set me back. I do not want him as a friend. Period. The only way I want him back is as my partner again. And I just feel that, when he tries making small talk to me, I should tell him something like, "Look * * * * * * * , I am not gonna be your friend--not now, not ever. I don't want you to speak to me at all. You can either be with me or be without me...and since you've already made your choice that you're going to be without me, then leave me the hell alone and get on with your life" Then I will probably ruin any of those slim chances that I may have of getting him back. But gosh...I don't know what to do. I am going to feel like crap after this lab today... Link to comment
doc wannabe Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Well, you are being direct with him. That's the best way for a guy to get a message. I think you are doing well. Hang in there! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 You should just be honest with him, but don't get too nasty. Just tell it like it is. Good luck! Link to comment
txsconsin Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 If I was in your position, I would answer small talk with short, no eye-contact answers. Don't pout, just stay interested in your lab and completing the task, rather than dwelling on who is next to you. He'll get the point that you don't want to deal with pity or guilt, and I would imagine he would begin to work "under" you, giving you a nice little confidence bump, if you take control of the situation during the lab. My main point is to stay positive, don't act like you're dreading the work to be done. Stay positive about the task, and indifferent about him. Remember, you can come back here and vent when it's all over Good luck! Link to comment
JusticeLaw9 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Be honest with him and let him know that you'd rather not have any communication with him outside of your group at school. That's really all you can do. Good luck. Link to comment
sillygurl Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Maybe you should try to be polite & friendly, but respectfully distant: If he begins to ask about your weekend, etc, you could try to say something noncommittal then change the subject. That way you can let it be known that you're not interested in idle chit-chat yet, but you don't have to be rude. Good luck, let us know how it goes. Link to comment
Aeryn Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 Ok, well I just got back from my lab. It wasn't as awful as I thought...I didn't even feel the need to cry when I saw him in there. The way he acted was kind of pathetic in a way, actually. The lab group consists of five of us...me, my ex, two other guys, and one other girl. I was casually talking to the girl and one of the guys, and every time I'd bring something up my ex would jump in and make a remark of some sort. For example...when we were discussing what we were going to get to eat afterwards, and someone mentioned a pepperoni pizza, my ex jumps in and says, "oh yeah, she loves the pepperoni" and starts chuckling (I'm a vegetarian, which is why he made the remark). And he was acting so dumb and childish. We had these pieces of equipment we were supposed to be using for the lab itself, and my ex just kept picking it up and playing with it, acting dumb. When he turned his head away I was just kind of shaking my head in shame because of how he was acting...and the other girl was like, "I know, I'm right along with you on that..." And then I guess he was trying to hurt me by flirting with this girl. Yeahhhh, I think she saw how immature you were in lab, don't think she's gonna go for you, hun. He angers me, and saddens me! Link to comment
StillConfused Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I would talk to your teacher and explain it is a conflict of interest to continue to have him as a lab partner. hopefully he/she will be able to let you switch with someone else. It's worth a shot. Good luck Link to comment
ratfreak Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Yea switching your lab group might be a good idea even if it's for the sake of avoiding stupid comments from him and getting in the way of your school work. Link to comment
sillygurl Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I would talk to your teacher and explain it is a conflict of interest to continue to have him as a lab partner. hopefully he/she will be able to let you switch with someone else. It's worth a shot. Good luck That's a great idea. Glad it went well today, I'm sure we're all proud of you for handling yourself so well! Link to comment
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