mixed kids

[rocio]

Do you think that a white parent is unable to prepare a mixed kid to deal with the racism he or she will experience?

 

Second question - when you are the mother of a mixed kid who looks nothing like you, and people often question whether you are the mother, is that racism?

 

Thanks

[Seraphim]

I think ANY parent is quailified to deal with any racism a child will encounter. To the second question I think it is more curiosity than racism.

[ProtestTheHero]

I don't know if a white parent is 100% "unable" to prepare a mixed child to deal with racism, but I suppose it IS difficult as a white person to prepare and relate to something that they have never experienced themselves. Being white, if my gf/wife was the minority, I would probably let her handle relating those experiences and then I would just try to be as supportive as I could be.

 

Second question -- it doesn't seem racist just reading it. I mean, obviously word choice and tone can affect the way it's presented, but I imagine when your child looks nothing like you the question might be out of genuine curiosity/shock.

[Seraphim]

White people experience racism as well.

[yellowcal]

I think ANY parent is quailified to deal with any racism a child will encounter. To the second question I think it is more curiosity than racism.

 

I agree 100%.

 

Everyone has experienced racism in some form or another so for someone to feel they are unable to prepare a child just because they are white is , I don't know, I just don't see it. While it may different and challenging at first I think a white parent is more than capable of preparing their child for the discrimination they may face regardless of whether it's a race issue, disability issue or whatever the cause may be for discrimination the child will face.

 

 

As for the second question, there are kids of the same race that looks nothing like the parent. Does it make me question whether they are the parent or not? Nope. Because I know that just because a kid looks nothing like you doesn't mean anything. I know one family their adopted child looks more like the mother and father than their biological children do. So looks mean nothing.

[ProtestTheHero]

I can safely say as a white person that it's no where near the same degree of racism that minorities face.

[Seraphim]

I can safely say as a white person that it's no where near the same degree of racism that minorities face.

 

What if you are a white minority???? My mother was treated like dirt by other white people when she was a kid and she is as white as white can be and so were her parents.

[yellowcal]

I can safely say as a white person that it's no where near the same degree of racism that minorities face.

 

I feel this turning into a racial debate and getting locked ... However (and trying to say this in a way without turning it into a debate) but as a white person I must say, I have experienced quite a few bouts with racism although it isn't looked at as badly than if I were considered a "minority". While it may not be the same kind of racism , racism is racism regardless.

[jcrisph]

both my parents are white, i was born in the dom rep. my parents were missionary workers...we then moved to antigua for 3 years. they were the only white people in the village. i think my parents can relate to me a personal level on how it feels sometimes.

[ProtestTheHero]

I feel this turning into a racial debate and getting locked ... However (and trying to say this in a way without turning it into a debate) but as a white person I must say, I have experienced quite a few bouts with racism although it isn't looked at as badly than if I were considered a "minority". While it may not be the same kind of racism , racism is racism regardless.

 

I'm not trying to argue. Victoria made a point that I hadn't taken into consideration because I was assuming UMA (OP) was speaking from any old regular USA town type of perspective. I wasn't considering anything outside of the US.

 

There are times when minorities have called me names or mildly messed with me, but I've never faced job discrimination or anything like that. I guess a lot of this has to do with growing up in Polk Cty. Florida, where the confederate flag is everywhere and blacks are constantly being threatened at schools. I've certainly never faced anything that severe and consequently would have no idea how to relate to that experience.

 

That is all.

 

I can't relate to a cancer patient just because I broke my wrist in the second grade, and that's the metaphorical point I was trying to make here.

[Qut81]

Do you think that a white parent is unable to prepare a mixed kid to deal with the racism he or she will experience?

 

Second question - when you are the mother of a mixed kid who looks nothing like you, and people often question whether you are the mother, is that racism?

 

Thanks

I am biracial. My mother is black and my dad is white. Since I am 27, I have experienced a lot of challenges in this dept. However, there are so many mixed children out there now a days, that this really shouldnt be an issue. I think it is difficult for a white parent to sympathize with racism. Meaning, they dont really know how to relate to their child bc they havent really experienced racism in that capacity. Just dont discredit racism. Some caucasions tend to think that racism is a fragment of a minorities mind. That it doesnt really exist. As long as you dont have that mentality, everything will be fine. The caucasion parent should simply explain how some ppl dont like others bc they are different, which is something that should be educated to ALL children, no matter what race.

Everyone used to think my mother was my nannie bc I looked white as a child. This is not racism, its just a normal reaction to what ppl are seeing. Even if it is insulting.

 

I used to go to a site called link removed. There are a lot of parents there of mixed children. It might benefit you to go there and have a chat with them. Good luck!

[Seraphim]

Racism does not have to be just about colour, but ethnicity, language,religion, ect.......it is a very broad thing. The premise is also different in different countries. Personal I really dispise any form of racism.

 

OP, I think ANY parent is qualified.

[Qut81]

Racism does not have to be just about colour, but ethnicity, language,religion, ect.......it is a very broad thing.

Yes, it does. What you are referring to is prejudice. Being prejudice is different than racism. The word racism comes from race, a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

[yellowcal]

Yes, it does. What you are referring to is prejudice. Being prejudice is different than racism. The word racism comes from race, a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

 

 

It's all discrimination and anyone can experience it regardless of race, nationality, age, sex, disability, whatever.. That is the point Victoria is trying to make.

[Seraphim]

My mother was discrimated against and her parents due to her heritage and language, which is a very large group here in Canada of all the same decent.

[EQD]

my aunt has two children who are mixed, and this isnt the 1950's anymore. honestly its not a common thing even in the most rural areas. so 'racism' isnt very rampant even in states like kentucky.

and its likely that even for young elementary school kids they have been introduced to one or two mixed children already.

my aunt has never spoken of any hardships associated with raising her child.

[COtuner]

I can safely say as a white person that it's no where near the same degree of racism that minorities face.

 

Disagree totally. Depends on where you live and circumstances. Not getting into the whole political thing, but it's most DEFINITELY out there.

 

To the OP, I think mixed race is becoming a lot more acceptable in many areas. I see many many mixed race kids and no one thinks twice about it. When I was growing up, we had a family with a white father and black mother and the son was ostracized. The parents were not well thought of either, but they were mostly avoided. Times change - I saw two very attractive high school age boys out with their dad yesterday and realized their mother must have been Asian. All I thought was, "wow, they are going to be heartbreakers someday".

 

So I think if I were the parent, I would do the best I could to not make a big deal out of it. If other people made comments in a rude fashion (asking about adoption is understandable these days, I think), I'd calmly explain to them that my child came from love - simple as that.

[rocio]

Thanks for the responses. I thought I was doing ok by teaching my daughter how to stand up for herself, showing her that she is loved and accepted, and educating her on her complex heritage. I'm also enamoured with her hair - I take extremely good care of it - only using my hands to brush through and taking the time to style it nicely. Its even to the point whee you'll tell her she looks beautiful and shell smile and touch her hair. Her big hair is the first thing anyone notices about her and I want her to wear it with pride.

 

But then last night we watched a movie about a custody battle that had skin color brought in and my husband, as always, sided with the black family. But then he went on to insinuate that I would be a better mother for our daughter if I was black! (not in so many words - you know how is women love to read between the lines). I'm furious with him but wonder if other black people might agree.

[Seymore]

One of my best friends gave birth to a mixed child (white/black), and they live in an area where racism is a bit more prevalent. But they live out there because it's affordable and a quiet area. She is the snappy comeback type - very witty, so if anyone says anything about her family, she knows just what to say back.

 

She even pokes fun at herself about it when we talk. She can take it, and I know she'll teach her children (she has another due any week now) how to deal with it as well. She is a great person and perfectly capable.

 

I for one think racism is plain ridiculous. I've had friends from all backgrounds and met good ones and bad ones. IMO, racism is one of those stupid things that results from a combination of misunderstanding and oversensitivity. Both parties are often guilty of perpetuating the cycle.

[Qut81]

It's all discrimination and anyone can experience it regardless of race, nationality, age, sex, disability, whatever.. That is the point Victoria is trying to make.

 

Oh, I see. Sorry Victoria. Misread your post.

[EQD]

But then last night we watched a movie about a custody battle that had skin color brought in and my husband, as always, sided with the black family. But then he went on to insinuate that I would be a better mother for our daughter if I was black! (not in so many words - you know how is women love to read between the lines). I'm furious with him but wonder if other black people might agree.

 

try not to read in between the lines on this. its important you dont take his words out of context because you may have misinterpreted what he said.

[Seraphim]

Just teach her pride in BOTH her races. As for your husband well.........he is another matter, he is being racist to YOU.

[COtuner]

Yikes. I think I'd be having a chat with him and find out what he was thinking at that moment? I would have a problem if he had told me our daughter would be better off with a single race family - I mean, that sounds a bit like his being upset at the movie brought out a bias in favor of one culture over another, instead of just being a family and the child understanding her heritage. Hopefully it was just misdirected emotions

[Qut81]

Some may, some may not. Who cares what they think? You are capable of raising a well rounded biracial child no matter what race you are. And, if he thought you would be a better mom to your daughter if you were black, then he wouldnt of had a baby by you.You may be reading in btwn the lines? (I dont know the convo that took place)

 

btw, I really do not like the term mixed or mulatto (not that you used that term), just makes us sound like animals. LOL

[rocio]

btw, I really do not like the term mixed or mulatto (not that you used that term), just makes us sound like animals. LOL

 

I knew mulatto was offensive but didn't know mixed was. I don't like to use biracial because it reinforces the notion of races. Hmmm... What to use? Bi-toned? Lol..