I don't know hpw to break up with my boyfriend

[purpleJ]

You can look at my previous Threads

I wanted to do it after his exam but he got a call and his grandmother is dying and he had to go to another city to see her and spend time with her so again it didnt happen

I do love him so I really care about how/when I do it, I don't wanna do it right now whilst hes so hurt about his grandmother, but how long do i wait?

He asked me if there was anything wrong because i was acting strange, which made me a bit annoyed too, I havent seen him in over 3 weeks whilst he lives 5 minutes away, he calls every few days and thinks this is all normal and I don't have anything to be upset about or feel funny about

 

I just dont know how to do this.

[skirt]

If you really do care, you should really do it as soon as possible. I know personally, I wouldn't want to think someone was just with me out of courtesy, or couldn't be honest with me because they felt some pity for my situation. Actually, I can see how sometimes it might be better to go through a brief period of extreme stress than to have it be sort of delayed this way. You know him best though, but honestly if he's asking whether something's wrong, he may already see this coming anyway.

[purpleJ]

I think he does too, and I think he wants it too.

I mean he has done it to me FOUR times.

I just can't bring myself to be the heartless one who leaves him and hurt him when hes hurting. I have it done to me and I know I'm better than that.

But on the other hand I don't know if there ever be a good time?

[skirt]

I think he does too, and I think he wants it too.

I mean he has done it to me FOUR times.

I just can't bring myself to be the heartless one who leaves him and hurt him when hes hurting. I have it done to me and I know I'm better than that.

But on the other hand I don't know if there ever be a good time?

 

 

I'd say it was less heartless of you to break up with him now, and just once, than it was for him to break up with you FOUR times without any tact or concern for your well-being. If you're writing here, you obviously care enough to consider his feelings, you don't need to prove that to him or anyone else. There's never going to be a good time to do this, it's just going to come down to how you relay this news. Making him feel like he has some stake in this decision might be a good idea too. "We never see each other anymore...it's unfair to make you feel any responsibility to this relationship when you have so much going on in your life right now..."

 

Just say anything to soften the blow, and maybe offer your friendship as consolation.

[MichaelF77]

I agree with the previous replies: Being untrue about your feelings for his sake isn't going to help. Men may not be quite as intuitive as females, but most aren't so dense that they can't perceive an impending break-up. If you express that you care for him and really regret the timing, but you know that he's a guy of integrity that wouldn't want to be lied to, he'll understand. You can offer to help him in his time of need, but not while feigning that everything is alright.

 

Good luck!

[Pixiedoc]

I think he does too, and I think he wants it too.

I mean he has done it to me FOUR times.

I just can't bring myself to be the heartless one who leaves him and hurt him when hes hurting. I have it done to me and I know I'm better than that.

But on the other hand I don't know if there ever be a good time?

 

Goodness me, and he only lives 5 minutes away but you hardly see him??

 

It seems like a one-sided relationship, and you have put much more in than him.

 

You have already done your best and it doesn't seem that he has responded very well/met you 50/50.

 

I think it's best to let him go - maybe tell him you are still there for him but just as a friend, if you feel you can and want to, otherwise definitely NC.