Got Weak and broke NC...

[loozal]

I had no contact with my ex since March 4th. I was finally getting a little stronger , and then I ran into my her last Sunday night with her new BF. I didn't acknowledge her and 10 minutes later she was texting me she was sorry. That she felt like crap that I saw them, and she wanted to say hi, but I wouldn't even look at her. She called me twice on Monday, but I didnt answer. She called me again on Tuesday night and left me a voicemail. She said it was hard seeing me, that I looked angry, and she hopes I don't hate her? On Wednesday I returned her call and told her I didn't hate her, but I was moving on with my life. I told her I started seeing somebody too. I asked her if she was happy and she said I don't know, it is okay, I guess? Later that night she text me she would never get over me. I didn't respond, and then she text me April Fools...I still didn't respond and she text me JK I finally responed with I am going to bed goodnite. The next morning she called me at 6 in the morning and I didn't answer. So thursday night I get a call from a private number and it is her. She was a little tipsy....I asked her why she blocked her number and she said she knew I wouldn't pick up and it was making her mad...She asked why I was so short with her the night before, and if I was with the girl I was dating. She told me she didn't know if she was happy? She kept calling me baby, and then she told me she missed me and just hung up. Friday morning she calls me at 7 in the morning and I didn't answer. I finally got weak and text her back...we flirt all day and I then I broke down and called her back. She told me that her and her new guy got into it after they saw me, because he could tell she was upset. She said they had a bad week, and that she missed me and it was hard seeing me. I met her and her daughter and we hung out for a couple of hours. When I dropped her off she was about to cry, and she hugged me and we kissed goodbye. Saturday we talked again and she told me that she still loves me, that she thinks about me everyday, but that she told herself she would never go back to me. She wants to try and be friends but it makes things harder when she sees me. I think I really messed up by allowing her to know I still care for her. I should of played the game better, and I showed my hand way too soon. What should be my next move? It is so hard staying away from a woman I was with for over ten years. Should I have LC, NC, I need adviced!!!

[FloatingAnchor]

Go NC. She has trouble letting go, but that's not the same as wanting to reconcile.

[uj2004]

I thought about it, 5 minutes ago. Logged onto msn, and there she was (blocked, but in my contacts still). I imagined me unblocking her and sending a message, but managed to just shut down msn.

 

I thought maybe that was a positive sign, that she has been online a lot lately in the afternoons, until a mate told me it probably just means her new guy is chatting to her from work. Maybe its just that, although I hope it's cause she is a little bit lonely. I sure am

[uj2004]

Are you actually with another chick or was that a front?

 

[loozal]

No, not with anyone, just don't want her to think I am just moping around waiting for her. She asks a million questions about who I am dating though...

[uj2004]

Here is my advice. I am 21 days into NC, and at times, it hurts exactly the same as if she broke up with me yesterday. I am going to keep this up longer, so hopefully she misses me, but I guess there is a cutoff point, where you have to wonder if its helping you.

 

If you feel as bad as day 1, then I guess hanging out with them as friends can do no more harm than being all sad cause they are totally out of your life. Yes, it would prolong the healing process assuming you don't get back with her, but at least it gives you something to look forward to. Right now I have nothing to look forward to, while in NC. Is that much better than at least knowing you will see your ex, get a temporary high, with the subsequent letdown? I don't know.

 

It is true, however, that if they want you in their life in whatever way, they know where to get in touch with you.

 

I had better add, that in my situation, as in yours, where there is someone else they are with, then it can do a lot of damage to you to know any details about them, by keeping in contact.