Love with your head, or your heart

[taylorhill]

Hi Everyone,

 

A question about love...

 

I know this girl who has been hurt by a man. They broke up, and like many who broke up she was very damaged and hurt. The man, who initiated the break up was also very hurt, but it took him longer to experience this 'hurt' and 'loss' than the girl.

 

Now, about 2 years later the couple still thinks of one another all the time. The man and woman now speak, but there's so much emotion, so much feeling between the two. The woman has told the man that he's the one for her, her HEART tells her that HE's the one, but her HEAD just won't let her fall completely in love with him for the fear of being hurt once again.

 

What do you all think about this?

[_Asti_]

I think there's a time and place for using each.

 

I know for certain things in my relationship, using my heart has been best, and others, using my head has been best.

 

Sometimes following your heart isn't the answer. Sometimes logic does need to be involved. But other times you need to disregard what your brain is telling you and go with your heart. And sometimes you use both. You do what you think is right because you feel it is right.

[Ms Darcy]

If he hurt her, I can't blame her for using her logic.

 

I wonder if some of what doesn't allow her to fall in love again isn't just fear but the fact that she may have moved on in some ways. I don't know her at all, but I wonder if the emotions that remain in her - after all this time - are mostly related to nostalgia and mourning the loss of what might have been. If that's the case, the 'in love' feeling is gone while general 'love' remains. Then, she would be very wise to follow her head on this one.

 

I do think that 'love' can rebuild again though. Spending some time together may help or it may not. Basically, you can't force it and if she doesn't feel it then she doesn't feel it.

[FloatingAnchor]

If he hurt her, I can't blame her for using her logic.

 

I wonder if some of what doesn't allow her to fall in love again isn't just fear but the fact that she may have moved on in some ways. I don't know her at all, but I wonder if the emotions that remain in her - after all this time - are mostly related to nostalgia and mourning the loss of what might have been. If that's the case, the 'in love' feeling is gone while general 'love' remains. Then, she would be very wise to follow her head on this one.

 

I do think that 'love' can rebuild again though. Spending some time together may help or it may not. Basically, you can't force it and if she doesn't feel it then she doesn't feel it.

 

I agree 100%. Generally, I follow my head, but in human relationships, the heart eventually wins. Whether she truly wants to try again or not, the head will catch up and will be able to rationalize whatever decision she ends up making, IMO.

[mca1975]

Well, two years have passed and they STILL feel like they want to be together? maybe they should give it another try! sounds like something special to me.