rejected by girl that I like a lot

[stlcards1]

OK,maybe this post is more me venting than asking for advice. I've liked this girl for awhile and found out the other day that she doesn't like me back. Actually a friend told me this and not her,where he told me that she didn't say anything due to not wanting to hurt my feelings plus she thinks i'm this great guy. Where i'm tired of that line from girls,that you're a great guy but still... Anyway he thinks that she just wants someone more up to her speed here,that she's more on the outgoing side,going out having a good time with friends,grabbing a drink or two,where as me i'm not on the outgoing side,where I don't drink,party... where some reason I just need motivation to be more outgoing and a girlfriend would do just that hehe. Also i'm on the shy type that makes things a little harder.

 

He told me to try not to take it to heart for what it's worth,that she's like this with a lot that she's really really picky when finding a guy and high maintenance type. I knew about her being picky where honestly at first didn't think I stood a chance ( low self-esteem talking) but went for it and after a bit started thinking maybe I did,when she got to know me a bit better to see that i'm the nice,caring,honest..sense of humor.. I have no idea her reasons for not liking me back but due to her picky issues,if it did have to do anything with the whole outgoing thing I think that's stupid. haha where to me little things like that shouldn't matter. compared to if you treat a person right,caring,trusting,hardworking..that sorta thing,but currently i'm just in a bummer kinda mood...

[Ariel85]

Have you heard the phrase, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result."

 

So, if you are hearing this line a lot, I wonder if you are going after the wrong type of girls. If you are trying for women like this one in the post, then it makes sense that most of this "type" won't be interested in you.

 

Point is, maybe it's time to switch things up a bit, and ask girls out that are more on your level? That should yield you better results.

 

And remember - your self-worth is NEVER measured through someone else's eyes, so don't let this girl define your worthiness of a great girl.

[CynicalGuitarist]

This is a very typical yet "have to be there to understand it" scenario. I will tell you that you like who/what you like... lying to yourself about what you want will only make you even more miserable than you are; watch the movie "Being John Malkovich" and you'll see what I mean. That being said, I don't see how a ladyfriend will give you any motivation to "get up and get out"... that's something people try to program in you. I still get exercise and look for a job and see my friends etc. and I've never had a girlfriend in my life (I'm pretty sure I don't want one, either.) If she can't accept you and can't get over you at your worst, forget her... however, if that's the kinda girl you TRULY TRULY want, I'm sure there are some out there who might dig your style for being "different" as opposed to all the club dudes who only love her ...brain (thanks, Pharrell). However rare, hang in there, and in the meantime, live for yourself. Don't go for someone you don't feel outta desperation and loneliness... you'll end up hurting someone else as well as yourself. In essence... listen to what YOU want; don't let others try to shove you into a box you won't fit in.