Is this serious flirting

[PennyLaneBlac]

My boss sent around an email asking us if we were interested in a project.

I Emailed back "I'm extremely interested"

 

He replied "In the project I presume"

I replied "I'm interested in many things but you presume correctly."

 

If you were a single male boss and your slightly younger but not too young single coworker sent you those replies what would you think?

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm unable to understand what you're saying, or asking here?

[HouseKitten]

His reply sounds flirty to me, and your reply is clean enough to be passed off as banter but could be seen as encouraging further comments.

 

Do you want to be involved with him? And since he's the boss - is this really a good idea?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I would think... common coworker flirtation.

[Raistlin]

I would just assume you were interested in something else regarding work, unless there is a history of flirting.

 

It's very hard to tell if there's supposed to be meaning in that e-mail. Subtlety can be far too subtle.

[HeartGoesOn]

Sorry, I read it wrong.

 

I would just call that casual flirting, but proceed with caution if he's your boss.

[ratfreak]

Work dating - big no no for me.

 

I would take it that he's flirting a bit but your response could be read as both:

1. i'm intrested in just work

2. i'm intrested in work but what else can you offer

[bmwm3]

sounds like both of you guys were flirting with eachother...

 

never mix work and fun... espically with the boss

[itsallgrand]

I'd think you are "being cute" - whatever, but if it became a regular thing, I'd start taking you less seriously.

 

The problem is it is text so there is no tone to go off of. He'll take out of it what he wants really. Do you really want to open that door?

[PennyLaneBlac]

There is a history of flirting , a short history.

About a month ago I sent him some work and got "What a woman !!!" as a reply.

So Replied "You'de better believe it."

The next time I sent him more work I got the same reply.

So I replied that I was putting thaton my gravestone.

 

It's all very pleasant and fun. I don't want to come on to him nor do I want to reject him. I want him to make a move if he wants to so I want my emails to be subtle.

I was afraid that the email I posted at the start of this thread might be construed as a rejection.

[COtuner]

Ah, we send emails like that all the time at work if we have a friendly relationship. Doesn't mean anything - we just goof around. Since my current boss is 63, I would not send one of those to him, but I've had a prior boss that we joked like that all the time. He was like a big brother, except he also controlled my paycheck!

[jul-els]

It doesn't sound anything like a rejection. It sounds like you were being friendly. I personally have a policy of not getting too chummy with or dating anyone in the workplace, particularly my superiors. I feel that when you mix your personal and business life then both are compromised, but that's me. I would be wary of fostering the image of being unprofessional or too casual with one of my higher ups though.

[PennyLaneBlac]

Well that's good. I will see how it goes. It may not be ideal dating someone from work but It's hard to meet men and im rather shy. I know this guy and he seems decent so It would make dating easier but Its up to him.

[COtuner]

Well that's good. I will see how it goes. It may not be ideal dating someone from work but It's hard to meet men and im rather shy. I know this guy and he seems decent so It would make dating easier but Its up to him.

 

It may not be allowed to date your boss - better check the employee manual. It also may not be allowed to date someone of a different "rank". That's fairly common for ethics reasons.

[PennyLaneBlac]

It is allowed. We have a few couples who met and married here.

[steelcitymstro]

I don't think it was flirting. Your boss probably has a lot more e-mails to read than you think.....If he gets a one-sentence e-mail from anybody, he probably needs to clarify.

[COtuner]

It is allowed. We have a few couples who met and married here.

 

So do we, dozens in fact. But between immediate superior and subordinate, usually someone has to change jobs. It is unethical.

[PennyLaneBlac]

It is not considered unethical where I work. Also whilst he is a grade above me he is not my employer and I would be pretty high up in the company myself.

 

He wasn't just checking. I shortened the story so as not to be long 0winded here.

I stay in a little later than most as I'm carpooling. He stays in a little later because his job is quite demanding. He knows I car pool because he often gives me a buzz when everyone else is gone.

 

this evening he sent the general email about the projects. Was anyone interested.

Me. extremely interested.

Him . Thanks

Me You're welcome.

Him. about the project i presume.

me . im interested in many things but you presume correctly.

[COtuner]

I hold corporate level responsibility accross programs in multiple countries and I would still be asked to change jobs if I dated someone at a higher level in my own division or in a position of influence over my own division or career. Just be careful is all I'm trying to say - it can get him in a lot of trouble if there is any question about his judgement by another employee. The HR folks on here can speak to this in detail, I'm sure.

[Honey Pumpkin]

It's flirting, but only just -very light. I would be careful though, work romances that go wrong are *horrible*!

[PennyLaneBlac]

I promise you there is no policy of any sort that frowns on relationships in my workplace.

However if it didn't work out it would be uncomfortable. THat is why I'm very wary and cautious. Also he would have the sense to be equally cautious and tread carefully. THat might be what he is doing. He may also just be only interested in an ally at work.

[SoMuchLove]

It sounds like sarcasm.

[girl68]

well it certainly isn't "serious flirting"

[PennyLaneBlac]

Sarcasm would suggest that he means the exact opposite of what he says.

The thing is I'm very good at my job. He even asked me to work on projects with him because of this.

On both these occasions I sent him work that exceeded his expectations and solved some policy problems.

I don't think he meant the expression as a criticism of me but neither did he mean it in a romantic or sexual way. I think it was his jokey way of saying thanks for a job well done.

I like working with him and I have worked hard because firstly, I always do but also because this area is more interesting and rewarding than the area I was in.I have made myself indespensable (or tried to) so that when structural changes were made this year he made an effort to keep me on his projects. Whilst this has set tongues wagging in the office, I know it is simply a practical thing, he knows he can depend on me to get the job done.

 

However working with someone gives you insights into their character not afforded by regular dating behaviours. From my work he holds a high opinion of me. He has told me so. He also has complimented me on my looks and appearance. We also share some similar as well as divergent interests. What i'm like beyond that he doesn't know but surely that's enough to peak his imterest.

[Miss Firecracker]

Your boss could be your reference for future jobs. I wouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole.

 

Always be careful mixing work with play.