SC1607308020 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 When he goes to work I think about how I miss him, but when he gets home and I see him I can't stand looking at him sometimes. Everything he says annoys me and sometimes I just don't feel like having sex with him anymore. Sometimes I think about how I can't stand him and why am I with him. It hurts because we have been together for like 6 years. He has broken up with me numerous times because I have a major attitude with him but I beg him back and say I will change but I just can't. I am also very very bitter that he has broken up with me so many times. He sometimes says he will call me and he doesn't and it makes me think about all the times he has let me down. His looks don't really attract me anymore. I feel so weird, because the only time I really enjoy him is when we get drunk. He smokes weed and I started to smoke too just because and when I smoke I get so angry and start thinking about how he disgusts me. I feel so ashamed!? What is happening? I'm scared. I try to like him more but then I can't I get really drunk before we make love. A few summers ago when I came home from work he was in the neighbors apartment (a girl) drinking wine and I called his phone and it kept ringing and ringing. I heard it her house and went over and he was in her bathroom changing his shirt or something? He said they were just hanging out and she was talking to him about how she was a teacher or something? I can't even really remember but I can't stop thinking about it and it hurts everytime I remember it. I am so hurt from all these bad memories. Do I deserve this? Whats happening? Link to comment
Strung_Out00 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 This is a sign you should end it. This just happened to me with a girl I was dating. My sex drive for her plummeted and the only way it was fun to hang out/have sex is when I was drunk. The littlest things about her made me insane. I would spend the weekends at her place and was relieved when I would get back home and not have to see her. I think maybe you should consider ending it. My ex and I have a great friendship connection, but I am not suited for her romantically. Feelings between people can change. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'm too scared to, I guess I'm too controlling I see that in myself. I just think all the bad stuff brought us down. He lived with a roommate when we first met and it was fun but then he moved back with his mom (he said it was temporary and that he would get his own place) but then he just stopped caring and spent his money on remote control cars and stupid stuff. and we started having sex in the bedroom next to hers and since then my sex drive has gone to hell. He is really irresponsible, he has no credit, his cars always get taken away. He has tickets and no license right now. I think thats what started it a few years ago. I started to see how irresponsible and unreliable he is, he also has DUI. I'm so freaking depressed and I will be alone if we break up because I don't have any friends because I have social anxiety and no friends. I also was recently laid off. Finally I got my own apartment about a year ago and he "accidentally moved in" He basically says I forced him to! Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 i remember you and your story about your bf being in her bathroom "changing his shirt". i also remember that everyone told you it was way too fishy and that other things were not adding up. i'm pretty sure a lot of people advised you to end it... i think it's time.. Link to comment
Strung_Out00 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I wouldn't stay with him out of the fear of being alone. So what you're saying is, you would rather stay with him and be miserable than break up with him and be miserable? Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 i remember you and your story about your bf being in her bathroom "changing his shirt". i also remember that everyone told you it was way too fishy and that other things were not adding up. i'm pretty sure a lot of people advised you to end it... i think it's time.. I registered today, but that sounds very weird that someone had the same thing happen to them. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Just to think that he may have been with someone else hurts me so bad, he swears that he didn't do anything with her. I guess you're right though that I should end it though because it hurts so bad. He just has always been the loyal type of guy that never even looked at another girl or even say another girl was attractive. He always says I am the most beautiful girl and that he only wants me. I guess those are lies huh? Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Hello out there, lol anymore advice or is this like a no brainer? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I've been there, done that. I lost my attraction to my ex when he was all about his female friends. I was always so bitter about how he always flirted with them and stuff, so guess what? I kicked him to the curb. That's not the only reason why I left him, though, but this is just one of them. I advise you to please get away from this man. He sounds like a total loser. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 I'm going to do it tonight. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 It sounds to me like you already know what you should do, don't postpone it any longer. Good luck! Link to comment
chargersrus Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 How do you know that he doesnt really truly love you....? You have been together so long....have you really considered this person leaving forever? I know its easy to act on impulse but please think this through before you do it. Perhaps your feelings of resentment are more deeply rooted. Have you tried to go to counseling with BF to see if your feelings can be worked out? Its easy to feel this way and then 2-6 months down the line realize what a good person he was. If he loves you and you kick him to the curb it will hurt him deeply and possible leave feelings that will never be reconciled. Im not telling you to NOT break up with him, just be sure its really the right thing for you before you do it. Link to comment
SC1607308020 Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 But when he tries to hug me I pull away and I don't like kissing him, I hate kissing him I always try to get away? I don't know how it feels to actually be attracted to someone anymore, and to actually WANT to be hugged up on someone. Is this strange? I sometimes come home and just cry. I'm so confused, I feel like I can't break up with him because I don't want to be alone. How sad. How did I get myself into this mess, I sometimes hate him! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I thought you broke up with him. You already know what you need to do. Best. Link to comment
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