hailtothevictors Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I've been seeing a girl for a couple of weeks now - a few dates, a few times out in a big group. She's on a skating team here on campus and invited me to their end-of-the-year formal last week. The formal was last night and we had an amazing time. I ended up spending the night at her apartment - we made out and fooled around but didn't have sex. Though we've never talked about it, I've always gotten the impression from her that she isn't one to rush into sex and might even be a virgin. Anyway, this morning I took her to breakfast. When she put her purse down on the table it flipped open and I noticed she had a package of Plan B (morning-after pill). I'm not really sure what to make of this. Does she carry around Plan B with her all the time? Seems strange unless she frequently finds herself having sex with random guys without protection. I talked to a female friend and she suggested that maybe the girl bought it for the night of the formal just in case we head sex and for whatever reason didn't use protection. Any thoughts would be appreciated. I really, really like this girl ... but this is kinda bothering me for some reason.... Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Perhaps she was expecting that she might have sex with you and wanted to be prepared just in case? Even if she then decided not to, or you did, or it just didn't happen, at least she's thinking ahead Or she might just like to keep some handy and had only bought them recently so they were still in her bag. Link to comment
Binoo Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 There could be a number of reasons why she does this. If she does not use protection and pops these things like Pez...not so good. However, I think it's best just to assume for the time being that she is careful and she takes that extra precaution just in case [ ie. a condom breaks ]. I would suggest taking it slow and waiting until you're more serious [ if you intend on having a relationship with her, that is ] to ask her a bit about herself [ and not to pry but more for your own safety... ] does she always use protection? Is she very promiscuous etc. ? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 It would make me think long and hard before the next date if there ever was one. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 When I was younger, if the morning-after pill had been easily available I'd have made sure I had a ready supply. Including when I was married! Condoms can split, you can forget to take the pill, you can be sick/have digestive problems after taking the pill. Sounds like she's being careful, and I wouldn't read into it any more than this on the basis of what you've written here. If she just has sex with random guys, surely you two would have had sex? It doesn't sound as though her behaviour towards you suggests she is promiscuous! Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I have to say that is odd. The plan B is really for emergency cases, and not for a regular birth control method. But like someone said, maybe she just wanted to be extra careful in case something happened? I dunno. I wouldn't make this a deal breaker or assume she has a lot of one night stands. Perhaps she has little experience with sex, and that is why she got it. Link to comment
hailtothevictors Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 If she just has sex with random guys, surely you two would have had sex? It doesn't sound as though her behaviour towards you suggests she is promiscuous! Good point - I hadn't really thought about it that way. We've certainly had opportunities to have sex, but we both have seemed pretty content to take things slow. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 If she has a packet, then she is in possession of two pills which together make up one dose of morning after pill (am I right on that)? Doesn't sound to me like anything other than being responsible. Pill sometimes fails as do condoms - as a woman that's something to worry about. If she is a virgin, then she might even be extra worried about having sex and getting pregnant. Or, she might be carrying them for someone else. There are a hundred reasons why she might have them that don't end in the conlusion that she sleeps around without protection. Link to comment
hers Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I don't think it's anything to jump to conclusions about her being promiscuous. Maybe she's paranoid about pregnancy and has it as a backup. It's possible that package has been in there for weeks or months, just in case she ever has a time a condom breaks or something. I wouldn't jump to conclisions till you 2 talk about your relationship, where you are, if you want to sleep together one day, etc. I suspect if she's promiscuous, you wouldve rounded the bases last night instead of hitting only a couple. So I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt, as should others on this thread who've said red flag. Don't do anything rash till you talk to her. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 If she has a packet, then she is in possession of two pills which together make up one dose of morning after pill (am I right on that)? Doesn't sound to me like anything other than being responsible. Pill sometimes fails as do condoms - as a woman that's something to worry about. If she is a virgin, then she might even be extra worried about having sex and getting pregnant. Or, she might be carrying them for someone else. There are a hundred reasons why she might have them that don't end in the conlusion that she sleeps around without protection. Agreed. I know I had sex once and the condom broke. I couldn't get to a doctor for about 24 hours. This was before it was available over the counter. If I'd been able to take it immediately after, it would have saved me a lot of stress and worry. I think she's doing the smart thing by being responsible. Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 that's actually smart since condoms sometimes break! that's like the worst fear of mine. my ex had issue with me jumping for the morning after pill instead of freaking out like most girls after the condom broke. (he felt i was too ready for this situation... lol wth, i just dont want kids!) but he was a BIT of an idiot. seriously, be grateful you got a sensible girl. i never understood why people don't have plan B on hand in case of emergencies - instead, they freak and freak. Link to comment
hailtothevictors Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Thanks for the quick responses everyone - I really appreciate it. Some of you have mentioned talking to her about it. Just to be clear, are you suggesting that I bring up the Plan B topic to her sometime soon? Or just at some point down the line when sex enters the conversation to casually try to get a gauge for where she's at? Link to comment
Binoo Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Thanks for the quick responses everyone - I really appreciate it. Some of you have mentioned talking to her about it. Just to be clear, are you suggesting that I bring up the Plan B topic to her sometime soon? Or just at some point down the line when sex enters the conversation to casually try to get a gauge for where she's at? definitely wait until you are more serious with her [ again, if it is your intention to become her boyfriend ]. I wouldn't bring it up anytime soon. Link to comment
hers Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I wouldn't bring it up anytime soon. I think since you've gotten physical already, maybe have the talk of where you're headed with each other? What are her intentions? Yours? When sex comes up, of course use condoms, and when you get more serious, talk about what would happen if the condom broke or if she's on the pill. I wouldn't mention seeing plan B in her purse; she may think you were snooping. Just talk about what precautions you'd take and such. If you are comfortable getting physical with her, you should be comfortable talking about this issue with her. Good luck and keep us posted! Link to comment
dragon lady Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I also want to add that I highly doubt she would be promiscuous if she is using plan B as her only method of contraception. Those 2 pills are expensive! So, unless she's got a lot of money to blow... Link to comment
laisla Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 it's like a guy carrying some condoms in his wallet. it doesn't mean he is going around having random sex, but he is prepared in case. Link to comment
Seymore Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 If a girl carries mace in her purse, it doesn't mean she's gonna go around spraying everyone. Sorry, that was the first thought that popped into my head after I read that. Link to comment
alli Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Maybe she had a scare a while back with a condom breaking or stupidly not using one at all, and then decided shortly after to buy the plan B and has been carrying around the same 1 set of pills ever since. Kind of like carrying around a camera, mace and a $20 bill. You never know what you might need. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 There's a point of being smart and informed about your health, but a whole other when you behave like you plan on being unsafe as a rule. I'd be very wary of a chick who carried these around. To me, the message is, "I have a lot of unsafe sex, and minimize the stress of this by having emergency BC handy. Why let the nuisance of pregnancy worry hamper a good time?" Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'd be very wary of a chick who carried these around. To me, the message is, "I have a lot of unsafe sex, and minimize the stress of this by having emergency BC handy. Why let the nuisance of pregnancy worry hamper a good time?" To be fair to the girl, the first time I had sex with someone new after my breakup we used condoms and had no problems whatsoever with them, but I took the morning after pill anyway because I was a little freaked and doing that little extra made me feel safer Perhaps she's just a born worrier. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 To be fair to the girl, the first time I had sex with someone new after my breakup we used condoms and had no problems whatsoever with them, but I took the morning after pill anyway because I was a little freaked and doing that little extra made me feel safer Perhaps she's just a born worrier. You shouldn't do that, Kitten. The morning after pill is for genuine emergency concerns when you fear you are actually pregnant. NOT as a form of routine or back-up BC. The hormones in the pill can cause havoc with your normal hormone levels if you continue to use it as a form of back-up BC. Additionally, the more times you use it unnecessarily, the less likely it will be to work WHEN you really need it. If you are that freaked out by having sex with someone AND using BC correctly, then you should re-examine having sex. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 I've only taken it maybe twice before, for actual emergencies it's not something I'd normally do, but there was a lot surrounding the situation that just made me want to be absolutely sure. I'd not reccommend people do that but it's possible that's what this girl was thinking as well - better overly cautious than pregnant! Link to comment
Xuul Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Don't worry about it dude.... if you want to kill this thing before it really gets started, go ahead and get yourself worked up about this until you can't take it anymore and finally burst by either prying into her sexual history or worse yet, get so worked up that you sound accusatory. Likely, over time she will open up to you about her past and that will likely include a bit of her sexual experiences (at least anything important). If you just HAVE to know, make sure you ask her about her past in a VERY non-confrontational way. Do it at a peaceful time, when it's just the two of you alone. If at that point you have not had sex yet, as long as your tactful, it's more than appropriate for you to ask her if she's a virgin. Just don't push... if she seems defensive and asks why you need to know, just back off a bit and say you were curious and assure her that you are willing to answer any questions she has about your sexuality (so be prepared to do that). Just relax, and do NOT specifically bring up the pills you saw. My ex-girlfriend had two boxes of them for a long time, "just in case" during the time she was transitioning between "the pill" and an IUD. Don't freak. There are plenty of legitimate reasons for her to have those, and if she seems serious about you, most of them probably involve you in some way. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 she probably wanted to do you and you read into it. self-defeat. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 She should have brought condoms instead. Link to comment
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