Two months before the wedding...

[athomas]

We were supposed to get married this June, but she decided she isn't happy anymore and basically cut everything off. I don't know what to do anymore. I've been physically sick from it, that and lack of sleep. Just everywhere I look almost I'm reminded of her. Places we've been to, things we've done etc. I don't think I'll bounce back from this one.

[Binoo]

I'm sorry to hear that.

Are you sure she doesn't just have cold feet? Did she say she was leaving for good?

[WomanWriter]

I don't know what it is about "cold feet syndrome" but this seems so common, it's scary. From what I am learning, it will take a long time to get over something like this--you will feel shock, denial, numbness, anger, desperation, acceptance, bitterness, sadness, and other feelings. Take it one day at a time. Try to keep no contact although each situation is different and there may be times you feel the need to email her for whatever reason. This is normal, I think. Let yourself feel the grief but don't hang onto it forever or you will close your heart.

 

I don't know why these things happen, why people so close to marriage seem to suddenly decide they aren't happy or want something else. I'm not sure what it is about commitment that makes people run. I've never experienced that but it seems so many people feel the pressure. I sure would like to understand that.

 

Keep reading the other posts and venting on here and you will start to see progress although don't be alarmed when you backslide and have moments where you feel like you can't make it through the day.

 

Also, have faith in God. Pray, pray, pray. If you really believe you will find peace and strength. I have.

 

Stay busy...better yet, take up a new hobby or get into a hobby you have now that you haven't really pursued. For me, I took a writing class. You might want to play a sport or even learn a new language, a new skill, or expand your job knowledge.

 

Read some good self-help and spiritual books. Check out new novels too. Keep your mind active but also relax and take lots of warm bubble baths (if you like), eat some tasty comfort foods but keep yourself healthy. Take walks with friends. Try to spend one-on-one time with friends and relatives. Go to low-key events with friends to meet new people. Get lots of rest.

 

I'll pray for you!

 

Hugs>>

[nem69]

We were supposed to get married this June, but she decided she isn't happy anymore and basically cut everything off. I don't know what to do anymore. I've been physically sick from it, that and lack of sleep. Just everywhere I look almost I'm reminded of her. Places we've been to, things we've done etc. I don't think I'll bounce back from this one.

 

I feel for you, I know it hurts. Like you I normally bounce back pretty quick but this was such a special relationship to me.

It's what seem to set my ex off. She seemed fine until after we were engaged then it started to go awry. She deliberately to find problems then out the blue she says she can't return my love and we should part but she very much wanted us to remain friends.

All you can do is use this web site and let those on here help.

[SapphireNoir10]

You will bounce back, just not now whilst its fresh and your hurting. You will get better, it will hurt less in time.

[athomas]

Well let's just put it this way. Since thursday (when I knew it was over more or less) to this morning, I've lost 8 pounds. Just weighed myself again a few minutes ago and it's down another half a pound or so. I had to leave work early friday because I just couldn't stop throwing up or shaking. It was so bad to where I got vertigo (I think that's what it is, basically when your head starts to spin and you feel as you're going to pass out). Basically been like that since friday. It isn't as bad but I keep feeling my heart speed up, makes me light headed and weak for a minute or so. That aside, I don't know what else to say. Of course I'm at work now, as I always am, may have been part of the problem since I'm here unvoluntarially so much, maybe 100 hours a week or more, and I have zero time to see her. And unfortunately with the IT field, jobs are so scarce, I have no choice. We get resumes from top Adobe developers that are out of a job. So yeah grateful that I have a job but it could be a lot better, not late morning until almost midnight every single day of the week almost.