Does he still fels the same as before

[zooey]

I have been with my bf for 6 yrs we are both 39. In january we had a horrible row and i said things that i really didn't mean. A few days later he ended it saying he didn't feel the same anymore. We have got back together a couple of times but each time after a few days he would say i'm sorry i do want to be with you but i just don't feel the same anymore.

Three weeks ago we met up and ended up kissing and 1 thing led to another we have been together since. It seems different this time though, he used to tell me every day he loved me and send such lovely texts but not this time he hasn't told me he loves me and only really texts if i do. He used to text at weekends if we couldn't see each other just to say im thinking of you.

Last week i sent him a text saying "Do you love me" he text back "Im afraid i do so you best get used to it". Do you think he was avoiding answering properly or i'm being paranoid and expecting things too quick. I just miss how we were so much. His Mum is dying and that must be on his mind all the time.

I just want to know if he does really still feel the same as before or does he regret going too far that day and doesn't know how to tell me in case i think he has used me.

I'm hoping that we will be like we were because we were so perfect.

[steelcitymstro]

The rebuilding process takes time, but is not impossible. If is mum is dying, then he is incredibly preoccupied--don't take it personally. Whatever happened in January obviously hurt him pretty badly. You just need to be patient and show him through your actions and words that you didn't mean what you said and you want to repair things. Be prepared, if his mum passes on, he will need someone to lean on heavily and if that someone is you, he'll probably be even more wishy-washy than he is now. If you're truly committed to getting things back to the way they were, this will be a big testing time.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The rebuilding process takes time, but is not impossible. If is mum is dying, then he is incredibly preoccupied--don't take it personally. Whatever happened in January obviously hurt him pretty badly. You just need to be patient and show him through your actions and words that you didn't mean what you said and you want to repair things. Be prepared, if his mum passes on, he will need someone to lean on heavily and if that someone is you, he'll probably be even more wishy-washy than he is now. If you're truly committed to getting things back to the way they were, this will be a big testing time.

 

I am not sure what else I can add...this post hits all the points perfectly. Just hang in there and focus on being a support for him during this bad time. People fight and say horrible things and then make up and put the past behind them. Just give it time.

[angellight]

I think you said some things that REALLY hurt him ALOT (dont know what) but he has been protecting himself..The pain has lessened and he is starting to trust you and feel safe again...Whatever you said, I would think twice before I go there again..You may do irrepairable damage next time...

[dasilver]

The rebuilding process takes time, but is not impossible. If is mum is dying, then he is incredibly preoccupied--don't take it personally. Whatever happened in January obviously hurt him pretty badly. You just need to be patient and show him through your actions and words that you didn't mean what you said and you want to repair things. Be prepared, if his mum passes on, he will need someone to lean on heavily and if that someone is you, he'll probably be even more wishy-washy than he is now. If you're truly committed to getting things back to the way they were, this will be a big testing time.

 

I definitely agree with what this poster said but i'd also like to add this. When you asked your bf if he loved you his response was "I'm afraid i do so you best get used to it". My interpretation of that is a 100% YES! I'd take that answer any day over "Yes i do love you". Just a thought.

[zooey]

Thank you all for taking the time to read my post and reply, you have made me feel so much better i just need to be there for him and i'm sure things will work out for us. Thanks again

[catfeeder]

[...]When you asked your bf if he loved you his response was "I'm afraid i do so you best get used to it". My interpretation of that is a 100% YES! I'd take that answer any day over "Yes i do love you". Just a thought.

 

I agree. I don't understand why you'd regard that answer as not a "proper" response, because I read it as a solid statement.

 

I'd make this time less about taking the temperature of the relationship all the time, and more about being calm and focused during this difficult loss in his life.

 

In your corner.

[zooey]

Yes your right it does seem a soild statement i think its because i asked him by text which i regretted doing when he replied i started to think maybe he had put that statement because i didn't give him much choice, but whatever he had wrote i would have analyzed it too much, i am going to relax about things and not push him.