Help!! Going on Nite out tonite and ex/new bf will be there!!!

[Broken_Toe]

Hi peeps!!

 

I need some help/advice/inspiration.

 

Its a big night out tonite where all my friends will be plus loads of other people on paper it should be a really good night and theres a good chance me getting to meet a lot of new people maybe even some girls.

 

I really want to go but I know that my ex (we split up nearly 2 months ago) will be there with her new boyfriend (who she basically left me for) and this really puts me off going.

 

I reallydon't want to miss out as I have already since we split up, I avoid going to things with my friends coz I know that she will be there and possibly with him and seeing them together just hurts too much!!

 

I really want to go but I don't know if I can put myself thru the pain of seeing them together again. It really hurts and I don't know why. I kinda take it personal like, he's better than me and I feel really self conscious like everyone in the room is laughing at me because she has moved on so fast and got with someone else while I'm a sad loser who she left who is still alone. I feel like she has won somehow or that she is laughing at me or looking down on me. Its also because she was basically cheating on me with him. In fact I don't even know if he knows that we were an item when the first met and exchanged numbers etc. I have no idea how far things went with them before she eventually dumped me and this makes me sad but really angry and inferior too. I have really low self esteem you see which just makes things like this even harder to deal with than they would be normally.

 

I shouldn't even feel like this because our relationship wasn't great and I wasn't getting what I wanted from it anyway so I knew it had to end so as I could meet someone who doe's give me what I would like in a relationship but for some reason I just can't let go.

 

I am really nervous about tonite coz I know I have to go and confront this fear but Im really scared because I know how bad I'm going to feel when I see them together doing boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.

 

If anyone can offer some words of advice or wisdom, or has been in a similar situation and can help me I would really appreciate it.

 

Many thanks in advance!!

[steelcitymstro]

Well, you're already preparing yourself for the fact that you're going to see them there and you're not going to like seeing them there....that's good, but shouldn't be your focus. You should focus on you going there with confidence and having a good time.

 

Look, I can guarantee you that if she cheated on you and left you, the other people at this gathering are not going to be thinking about what a "loser" you are (which you're not), but they're going to be thinking about how shallow your ex is. Your ex is only going to "win" as you say if you let her shallow actions determine what you're going to do.

 

My advice, if you can, bring a date--even if it's just a friend. If you can't bring a date, at least bring a few guy friends for moral support. When you get there, show her how happy you are that she's out of your life, not how hurt you are that she cheated. If you find a nice girl at the party, make sure your ex knows about it before you leave!

[angellight]

Seriously, try to bring a date, it will make it soooo much easier...Do not focus on them all night if they are there...You are going to ruin your good time..Go have fun, (even if you dont have a date) and focus on your friends and any other cutie who catches your eye...