How To End A: "Friends-To-Drugies" Situation

[Unusual U]

Well: In forth grade I moved and became friends with these two girls. One I don't get to see too much, but am still friends with, but is still part of the problem. The other girl was one of my best friends, well called eachother adopted brother and sister. But in the past year or so, they started doing drugs and drinking (we are at an age where both are illegal). The group that they hang with all do it. What's sad is that they're really nice, and care about me alot. But, I mean, it's like: Their bags are checked everyday for drugs, they are constantly in trouble and have no concern for their own health (I've heard them say this). Now, recently, the girl who was my "best friend" was caught with cigaretts, and has been in "In House Suspension" for two weeks, with another to go. She is escorted everywhere and can't talk to anyone. Everytime she sees me she goes and hugs me, and I just want to get away. I tolerated it. Then, once, we went to the movies, of course, we decided to walk to wal-mart. Eventually one of the girls in my group got this other girl we ment, who was 21, to buy cigaretts for her, then the smoked them outside where everyone could see them! I don't want to be around them anymore. I'm not really sure how to stop being friends with these people, they're so kind to me but do things that I can not stand to be around. Once my friend told me I should get high with them, or drunk. I refused, several times, and never did any of it. I want to get away from them, but I don't want any hard feelings. Is that even possible?

 

I'm sorry this is long, and thanks for listening!

[Sn0man]

It's a phase that young people go through, and you shouldn't just stop being their friend because they do some things you don't approve of. I remember when I was in junior high I saw this girl I had a crush on in the 'smoke pit' and I thought 'what's she doing out there, that's bad' ... I look back on it now and though it seemed like it was some sort of sin back then it's not something that even crosses my mind now - except that you brought that memory back with your post.

 

I guess my point is that just because what you see as bad now bothers you, it doesn't make them bad people and you shouldn't defriend them jsut because you choose not to join them.

[Unusual U]

I don't really want to end the friendship but. . . . This isn't something I want to be a part of, I mean, they've even had problems with the police. One of my best BEST friends had to go off to a place where they took care of her because she thought that that group of people would beat her up if she didn't smoke or drink with them. I know it sounds kind-of selfish, but I don't want to deal with this stuff. Someday they might learn, I know, but. . . . I don't want to be apart of this. They know I'm totally against it and I think they're stupid for doing it, but they persist. Wa-eva.

[Kantriakhor]

Stick to what you believe is right, if this isn't your scene then leave them to their own devices, you don't have to break things off, just drift into what you enjoy doing and either they can join you/make a compromise or they can stay with their new hobby with minimal hard feelings.

 

As for the crush scenario mentioned, cigarettes instantly tank any attraction i may have had because it's a disgusting, filthy habit that makes their skin, body, clothing, and belongings all smell like cigarette smoke and ash, yuck.

[Unusual U]

A couple of weeks ago all this has reached an all time high for me, this is what happened:

Originally, it was five of us going to the movies (I'ma change up the names a little). So it was me, "Amon", "Brad", "Jessie" and "Patricia". WAIT! What you need to know first: Amon and Patricia are dating and so is Brad and Jessie. Also, we met up at B&N, which is in the same area as the movie theatre. ANYWAY! So the five of us went up the movies, and ended up seeing a bunch of our friends, we all decided to watch Obsessed (we took up one and a half rows). Afterwards, everyone left buy myself, Amon, Jessie and Patricia. Patricia was gonna stay over Jessie's house that night, so they started to walk to B&N because Jessie's parents were picking them up. Amon and I stayed by the movies, waiting for Amon's parents, because they were my ride. So this girl, (well call her Eartha) who was, at one point, one of friends came up to us. She was obviously high and drunk (the smell of alchohal and smoke were all around her, and her eyes were blood shot, and her pupils dialated). She was so excited about how she "jaked" a fake sword from Wal-Mart. Amon and I just stand there. Eventually, this kid that Eartha knows, that we don't, jumped on her back, just playing around. She's just like, "Get off of me, I've got to beat up some chick!" he's just like, "Who?" and she's just like, "This girl "Patricia"!" Amon and I decide to start walking toward Jessie and Patricia. Just then, Eartha bolts into the street yelling, "I'm gonna kill her!!!" Amon runs after her, and bumps into her, expecting her to stop. She didn't, but kept going. Amon eventually attempts to pull her back by her sweatshirt, and her feet slip out from under her. She fell on her back and rolled with her arms (he grabbed her sweat-shirt upward so her back hit the tar). She walked back to her friends yelling, "F.ck you! I f.ckin' hate them both!" Amon walked back to me and we walked over to Jessie and Patricia who were standing outside. Patricia was crying. Amon and I both hugged her, and we started to go inside, I was the last one in and noticed that Eartha and some of her friends were coming our way. I stayed inbetween two doors, in a small foyer area. Eartha comes up to the glass door and knocks on it, then signals me with her finger for me to come over there. I open the door just enough for me to fit through.

"'Eartha', I have no idea where anyone is, I'm just waiting for my ride." I said calmly. She was jumping around me, looking for Patricia.

"I see her! I see the blonde b.tch! I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill the blonde b.tch!" I repeated what I had said before. She repeated what she said before. During that time I moved into the space I had made with the door. I wasn't gonna let her though, and she know's it. She starts to move away, and a lady trys to get into the store, and I follow her. I walk up to Patricia and hug her, she was still crying. Amon and I walk Patricia and Jessie to Jessie's car, with Jessie's parents. Eartha then yells, "F.CK YOU!!!" They leave. We leave. Amon tells his parents and during the entire ride home his parents were yelling at him about how he did the wrong thing and that he could be charged with assualt. Amon ended up crying. I get dropped off and call Jessie's house. We were all shaking and I was the only one, that night, who hadn't cried. I made the plan of talking to the school counsolar, the dean of students, and the teachers at our school. Later, the next day, I hung out with Jessie. On MySpace, Jessie e-mailed Eartha, "What was up with last night?" what she got back was unexpected. It was a death threat to Amon and Patricia. Jessie and her mom, as well as Amon and his family, go to Eatha's house to talk about what had happened. Her parents were very defensive about it and couldn't believe that their daughter did anything. As soon as they started talking about the letter, Eartha's father started to move to his hunting equiptment. Eartha admitted that she wanted to hurt Patricia. They later left, seeing that they weren't gonna get anything out of them. Then, the same night, Eartha's family went over to Amon's house. Apartently, this is what Eartha told her parents: Amon dropped her to the ground, put his knee in her chest, and dragged her accross the parking lot. She also says that one of her ribs might be broken and her chest feels like it moved a little, and that it hurts. Her parents said that if we brought up the letter again that they were gonna press charges on Amon. We brought the letter to school, talked to the counsolar, and now the dean of students, principal, the teachers, and the people who run the Positive Learning Center (PLC) in our school know about it. Eartha is now escored around the school always, and has all of her classes in the PLC. We then had to talk to the police and give the statements. Eartha started some rumours about what happened, which are totally false. And there was talk of stabbing that was gonna happen just the week before, and Eartha was involved. Patricia is now home-schooled, unless Eartha is kicked out of school. Jessie, Amon and Patricia are now not alowed to go to the movies without supervision. Jessie had a mental breakdown because of the constant drama and just came back from a rehabilitation center.

[Unusual U]

Eartha is now leaving the school so Patricia is now alowed to come back.

[Unusual U]

I just found out that Eartha has moved to Texas, to a family member's house, which is good. But there is a possibitiy for her to come back.